I got this envelope by courier from my parents the other day.They were sending me this little card that I was supposed to sign and send back to them.So this little card was in a white envelope which was inside another fancy "gift" envelope which was inside another brown envelope and this was inside the huge envelope that was finally sent out.All 4 envelopes had my full name and address and phone number on them.Vintage dad!
I usually give them a hard time about their little quirks but guess what.Without my knowledge I seem to have imbibed some of these quirks.Something that I swore would never happen to me! Like putting away the washed dishes for example.My mom would insist that each dish go back to its designated place and she would go ballistic if she found a mismatched dish vis-a-vis its designation on the shelf.I used to find it so amusing back then.But now,I totally understand where she was coming from for I react in the exact same manner when M does the dishes and puts them away at will.
Earlier I used to obsess about everything under the sun.The house needed to be spic and span.The kitchen counter needed to be sparkling clean.The vegetables had to be cut in a particular manner.Yada yada yada.And this prompted a much exasperated M to comment that I am so much like my mother!That did it I guess.And the fact that I was just driving M up the wall which in turn was driving him away from doing all the stuff that he used to around the house.I realized before it was too late that I'd much rather have M do all that he did around the house in his own fricking way rather than have to do all that by myself in my quirky way.This way I get all the free time I need to watch cricket and hindi movies and chat for hours on end with mom on GTalk....and blog!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Kya se kya ho gaya
I just read this supremely entertaining and well written post by Spunky Monkey.
It breaks my heart to see the metamorphosis that my beloved Bangalore has undergone in the past couple of decades.During my LKG-UKG days,the cardinal rule that was followed by us kids was that everyone in the group spoke nothing but Kannada.If you did not know the language, you had no choice but to learn it.Otherwise you found yourself ostracized.Now I went to a CBSE school and we were supposed to converse in no other language but English.So my proficiency in the language was much better than all the others in the group but this wasn't very well received by them.In order to fit in and not be a pariah,I used to pretend that I knew just as much English as all of them did.So instead of saying ladies finger,we would all say byaanchakoy which was the Anglicized version of bendekaayi.The only English we were permitted to use was "Mother-Father-Sister-Brother Promise"when we had to swear solemnly that we were telling nothing but the truth.
Aside
When my mother would ask me to swear that I was telling the truth on occasions that I actually wasn't, I would promptly say "Lucy mele promise,amma."(I promise on Lucy,amma). Lucy being the sweet German Shepard that belonged to the owners of our house.
End aside
Cut to college and hanging out at Coffee Day and Barista when you would be frowned upon for asking for a cuppa joe in "Kannad". When people were of the opinion that they knew all the Kannada they needed to know to get by in Bangalore if they just suffixed everything they said with a "maadi" like "adjust maadi" and "give maadi".It still irritates the hell out of me.
It breaks my heart to see the metamorphosis that my beloved Bangalore has undergone in the past couple of decades.During my LKG-UKG days,the cardinal rule that was followed by us kids was that everyone in the group spoke nothing but Kannada.If you did not know the language, you had no choice but to learn it.Otherwise you found yourself ostracized.Now I went to a CBSE school and we were supposed to converse in no other language but English.So my proficiency in the language was much better than all the others in the group but this wasn't very well received by them.In order to fit in and not be a pariah,I used to pretend that I knew just as much English as all of them did.So instead of saying ladies finger,we would all say byaanchakoy which was the Anglicized version of bendekaayi.The only English we were permitted to use was "Mother-Father-Sister-Brother Promise"when we had to swear solemnly that we were telling nothing but the truth.
Aside
When my mother would ask me to swear that I was telling the truth on occasions that I actually wasn't, I would promptly say "Lucy mele promise,amma."(I promise on Lucy,amma). Lucy being the sweet German Shepard that belonged to the owners of our house.
End aside
Cut to college and hanging out at Coffee Day and Barista when you would be frowned upon for asking for a cuppa joe in "Kannad". When people were of the opinion that they knew all the Kannada they needed to know to get by in Bangalore if they just suffixed everything they said with a "maadi" like "adjust maadi" and "give maadi".It still irritates the hell out of me.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Of priorities and choices and the right age
I wonder all the time as to why we Indians are so age-centric.Everything that we do has to be at the right age.One has to get married at the right age,one has to have children at the right age.Even the little ones are not spared.There is constant scrutiny about whether the child started walking/talking at the right age?Was the child weened off at the right age?What is with this age fixation?
My brother-in-law is 8 years older than M and I and he got married a couple of years after we did.He was 36 then.My mother-in-law used to obsess so much about his not getting married at the right age that one had to see it to believe it!It had reached a point wherein all one had to do was mention the word marriage to push my BIL's buttons.He was utterly disgusted with the whole process and since thats all my in-laws(and their nosy relatives) would ever talk about,he just stopped calling home for months together.My BIL felt he was ready to get married when he was 36.So what?That was his bloody choice.He was a mature adult who knew what he wanted from life.There ends the matter.I could not believe how all the relatives took it upon themselves to get him married by hook or crook!And the funny thing is when M and I got married,we were both 25 years old and these very relatives wondered if 25 was the right age for M to be entering wedlock.Wasn't he way too young,they asked.Go figure!
The other day my friend R and I were having a nice long chat over Margaritas.Now R,her husband A,M and I are all of the same age.So our conversation veered towards the inevitable topic of babies which is when she revealed that she and A have been trying for quite sometime now but with no luck.She went to add that she got a nice big lecture from her MIL about how they were already past the right age to have a baby so now they better hurry and get done with it!It seemed like they not really ready for a baby but they have to go ahead and try to conceive one nevertheless because the in-laws think the right time has come.
Earlier it was the older folks....the ones that belonged to our parents and their parents' generations..that did all the poking and prodding.But looks like there is a change in trend.Atleast in my case most of the starting-a-family queries comes from cousins and friends who are in the same age group as us!When I told my friend R that we plan to have a baby after a while,she went ballistic!She enlightened me as to how all babies conceived after the age of 30 turn out to be retards and how it is always either twins or triplets.Thats the curse.Now take Farah Khan's case,she exclaimed!Errr...isn't Ms.Khan close to 42 years old?And since when is having twins or triplets restricted to older women only?All this coming from a seemingly rational and intelligent girl!I was appalled at how illogical and stupid all her arguments were.I mean, I probably would have paid attention to what she was saying if her reasoning was plausible and rational.But all I could sense was desperation and frustration on her part.I kinda felt sorry for them for the ridiculous amount of pressure that they allowed themselves be subjected to.From what I have heard,as it is conceiving a baby is not always a roll in the hay!
I cannot bring myself to judge people about the choices they make and the priorities they choose.I have unmarried female friends who are way past 30 and living it up.I have friends who are in their 20s and have 2 kids and are eagerly planning for their third.One of my friends is a PhD who has chosen to be a SAHM and is extremely happy and content.It is after all their life and their choice.And no one has the right to butt in.
Does everyone think so too?Or is it that there is always the right age for everything?I would love to know...
My brother-in-law is 8 years older than M and I and he got married a couple of years after we did.He was 36 then.My mother-in-law used to obsess so much about his not getting married at the right age that one had to see it to believe it!It had reached a point wherein all one had to do was mention the word marriage to push my BIL's buttons.He was utterly disgusted with the whole process and since thats all my in-laws(and their nosy relatives) would ever talk about,he just stopped calling home for months together.My BIL felt he was ready to get married when he was 36.So what?That was his bloody choice.He was a mature adult who knew what he wanted from life.There ends the matter.I could not believe how all the relatives took it upon themselves to get him married by hook or crook!And the funny thing is when M and I got married,we were both 25 years old and these very relatives wondered if 25 was the right age for M to be entering wedlock.Wasn't he way too young,they asked.Go figure!
The other day my friend R and I were having a nice long chat over Margaritas.Now R,her husband A,M and I are all of the same age.So our conversation veered towards the inevitable topic of babies which is when she revealed that she and A have been trying for quite sometime now but with no luck.She went to add that she got a nice big lecture from her MIL about how they were already past the right age to have a baby so now they better hurry and get done with it!It seemed like they not really ready for a baby but they have to go ahead and try to conceive one nevertheless because the in-laws think the right time has come.
Earlier it was the older folks....the ones that belonged to our parents and their parents' generations..that did all the poking and prodding.But looks like there is a change in trend.Atleast in my case most of the starting-a-family queries comes from cousins and friends who are in the same age group as us!When I told my friend R that we plan to have a baby after a while,she went ballistic!She enlightened me as to how all babies conceived after the age of 30 turn out to be retards and how it is always either twins or triplets.Thats the curse.Now take Farah Khan's case,she exclaimed!Errr...isn't Ms.Khan close to 42 years old?And since when is having twins or triplets restricted to older women only?All this coming from a seemingly rational and intelligent girl!I was appalled at how illogical and stupid all her arguments were.I mean, I probably would have paid attention to what she was saying if her reasoning was plausible and rational.But all I could sense was desperation and frustration on her part.I kinda felt sorry for them for the ridiculous amount of pressure that they allowed themselves be subjected to.From what I have heard,as it is conceiving a baby is not always a roll in the hay!
I cannot bring myself to judge people about the choices they make and the priorities they choose.I have unmarried female friends who are way past 30 and living it up.I have friends who are in their 20s and have 2 kids and are eagerly planning for their third.One of my friends is a PhD who has chosen to be a SAHM and is extremely happy and content.It is after all their life and their choice.And no one has the right to butt in.
Does everyone think so too?Or is it that there is always the right age for everything?I would love to know...
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
The Workplace
I don't much care for it.My workplace I mean.
I am not too judgmental a person.I used to be but not any more.I can very easily accept people for who they are and unless they mess with me,I don't give a damn about what they do with their lives.And yet,when I think of my team mates,I can't help but go all judgemental-ly on them.
Most of my team mates are Americans and are old timers; been with the company for atleast 8-10 years.So it is almost as if they have their own code and their own rules.There is hardly any interaction except for anything that is work related which is a rarity since all our tasks are pretty well defined.The boss works from home most of the time and doesn't give a rat's ass about team building and the whole nine yards.In fact most of them telecommute almost 3-4 days of the week.The only time we get to see each other's faces is during the team meeting on Tuesdays.They will all pass by my cube but won't say a word.Not even a hi or good morning.Everybody is just doing their own thing.Sometimes it feels good that I have so much space and so little interruptions.But most times it is exasperating.I just haven't been able to figure out how things work here.Its been almost 7 months now but I still feel like an outsider.
Picture this.Last month,one of the guys sends out an email to everyone saying that we could all meet up for lunch at Romano's Macroni Grill,in lieu of Christmas.He also sends out the date and time.Approach T-1 and no updates from anyone about the lunch.Hence I assume it is still on.It is D-day and no emails yet about whether the lunch was still on or not.So this Chinese guy and I decide we will go together and we head out to the restaurant.We get caught in the lunch hour traffic and so we call the guy who organized the lunch to inform him that we will be late.And thats when the fool informs us in return that none of the others are coming so its just him and the two of us.And he asks us what we want to do.We then decide that we should just head back to office and let the fool get back whatever it was that he was doing.And thus ended our team Christmas lunch that never was!
Need I say more?
I am not too judgmental a person.I used to be but not any more.I can very easily accept people for who they are and unless they mess with me,I don't give a damn about what they do with their lives.And yet,when I think of my team mates,I can't help but go all judgemental-ly on them.
Most of my team mates are Americans and are old timers; been with the company for atleast 8-10 years.So it is almost as if they have their own code and their own rules.There is hardly any interaction except for anything that is work related which is a rarity since all our tasks are pretty well defined.The boss works from home most of the time and doesn't give a rat's ass about team building and the whole nine yards.In fact most of them telecommute almost 3-4 days of the week.The only time we get to see each other's faces is during the team meeting on Tuesdays.They will all pass by my cube but won't say a word.Not even a hi or good morning.Everybody is just doing their own thing.Sometimes it feels good that I have so much space and so little interruptions.But most times it is exasperating.I just haven't been able to figure out how things work here.Its been almost 7 months now but I still feel like an outsider.
Picture this.Last month,one of the guys sends out an email to everyone saying that we could all meet up for lunch at Romano's Macroni Grill,in lieu of Christmas.He also sends out the date and time.Approach T-1 and no updates from anyone about the lunch.Hence I assume it is still on.It is D-day and no emails yet about whether the lunch was still on or not.So this Chinese guy and I decide we will go together and we head out to the restaurant.We get caught in the lunch hour traffic and so we call the guy who organized the lunch to inform him that we will be late.And thats when the fool informs us in return that none of the others are coming so its just him and the two of us.And he asks us what we want to do.We then decide that we should just head back to office and let the fool get back whatever it was that he was doing.And thus ended our team Christmas lunch that never was!
Need I say more?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Heres to new beginnings..
It is that time of the year again!Spirits are high.Resolutions are made.Resolutions to keep the aforementioned resolutions are made.
For a while now,I have always been disappointed with the way the new year has started for me.Every year I used wait for New Year's Eve in the hope of spending it in the most perfect way ever but in the end,something went amiss.I guess it had more to do with this silly notion of wanting the year to start off on a positive note so that the rest of the year will follow suit.Finally,it all fell into place this year!We had the most wonderful weekend at San Antonio and Austin with a couple of our close friends.And then there was the party on New Year's Eve at our home with another set of good friends.There was good food,good booze and good conversation. Nothing over the top but good enough to be left with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
So heres hoping that 2008 be filled with much happiness and warmth and hope and love!
Heres wishing all of you a very happy new year!
For a while now,I have always been disappointed with the way the new year has started for me.Every year I used wait for New Year's Eve in the hope of spending it in the most perfect way ever but in the end,something went amiss.I guess it had more to do with this silly notion of wanting the year to start off on a positive note so that the rest of the year will follow suit.Finally,it all fell into place this year!We had the most wonderful weekend at San Antonio and Austin with a couple of our close friends.And then there was the party on New Year's Eve at our home with another set of good friends.There was good food,good booze and good conversation. Nothing over the top but good enough to be left with a warm and fuzzy feeling.
So heres hoping that 2008 be filled with much happiness and warmth and hope and love!
Heres wishing all of you a very happy new year!
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