Juxtaposition

When things just slip away from you..

2012-01-12T15:16:00.001-06:00

It has been a mixed bag of a new year. It started off great and then came a major glitch. Something that I can do nothing about except wait around twiddling my thumbs and hope and pray that things fall into place.

It feels surreal. These past few weeks I was the happiest I have been in a long, long time and then BAM. Just like that, my happiness vanished and was replaced by trepidation, uncertainty and misery. I don't know what to do and how to get my perspective back. My reserve of strength and resolve is diminishing. There is only so much I can take.

I don't want to go into the details right now but if you are reading this and you are the praying kind, please include me in your prayers tonight.

2012

2012-01-04T16:50:00.000-06:00

I cannot say I am sad to see 2011 end. It was probably one of the worst years of my life filled with so much negativity. I am, however, eagerly looking forward to see how 2012 will pan out. It started off well. New year's eve was a quiet affair with M and I heading out to dinner and then watching MI 4. The movie was amazing and dinner was pleasant. We got back home and watched yet another movie called Paul (the one about the alien?) and rang in the new year with lots of laughter and hugs and kisses. It felt good being at home with M and I am glad I stuck to my decision about not going to any of the new year parties that we normally do.

The thing is New Year's eve has always been a cluster. There is always so much pressure to do something "hip" and be at some party that is "happening". We get all these tentative invitations from people but no one wants to confirm until the 30th night. And then there is even more confusion because the guest list is common and people don't know which party to attend. After much back and forth, a decision is made and the details are sent out. Now the party itself is usually nice but then we end up coming back home at an ungodly hour as a result of which we wake up at an ungodly hour the next day to realize that most of New Year's day is almost gone. And if by any chance, we decided to host our own party then it gets much worse as there are way too many permutations.

So this year we spent a lovely, quiet evening together. Slept at a decent time and woke up refreshed at a decent time and got a lot done on New Year's day. Everyone who called to wish us asked what we did for NYE and we told them how our evening went, we got a lot of "Oh, I wish we had known you guys were not doing anything. We would have insisted you come over to our party." Duh.

Someone once said, "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

This is going to be my New Year's Resolution! Happy 2012, people!

Century

2011-12-08T16:07:00.001-06:00

Blogger informs me that this would be post #100. Wow. It only took me close to four long years to get here!

I owe my blog big time. When I decided to start blogging, it was just as an experiment. A platform to write. At that point, I had never imagined that I would gain such a wonderful virtual family and some of them would eventually go on to become real life buddies. Or that it would bring some real life buddies of mine even closer since we were now privy to each other's ruminations and fears and opinions that we wouldn't otherwise share.

I have been out of circulation in the blog world for a long time now. I kept disappearing for long periods of time. And yet, I continued to receive emails from folks I met through my blog, inquiring about my mother or just saying hello for which I am truly grateful and touched.

A big thank you to all you wonderful folks for being there and not giving up on me. I hope to write more often from now on and it would be great to re-connect virtually all over again.

Do stop by and say hello, won't you?

Dark

2011-12-05T14:55:00.001-06:00

Its a dull and dreary day outside. The skies are dark and grey much like the mood that I am in presently.

I have been wanting to jump-start this blog into action for a while now and every time I sat to write, I blanked out completely. I have so much to say but I seem to run out of words, a situation that is very alien to me.

It has been a very rough year especially the past few months. My mom succumbed to cancer and breathed her last in October. Needless to say, it was very very hard to see her suffer and then to lose her. I literally saw her take her last breath and I am still tortured by the memories of those last few days in the hospital before she passed on. I stayed on with my dad for a few weeks until he was ready to go back to work and then flew back home. I was obviously torn between not wanting to leave my dad by himself and having to come back and pick up from where I left off and get back to my life and my husband and my job. It has been an uphill task of trying to restore some semblance of normalcy in my life.

I read Chandni's post a few days ago and it felt like looking into a mirror. Especially the part about finding it very difficult to reach out to people and ask for help. I somehow feel that if people around me know me well enough, they would understand me and my emotional state of mind and realize that I did need them and they would reach out to me instead of waiting for me to do so. But I guess I was wrong and most people just assumed that I am really strong and am holding up well enough to be left alone. I am extremely grateful to the handful that reached out and wistful about the majority that just let me fend for myself.

I need some serious therapy it looks like! I just realized how dark this post is. Yuck. I hope that changes soon enough.

Enthiran - the experience

2010-10-01T10:20:00.003-05:00

So I watched Enthiran last night at a special pre-screening show that cost us a whopping $25.00 apiece! It was worth every cent and then some!

The show was at 6 pm and yet, by the time we reached the theater it was already 5.35 pm. Luckily for us, some of our friends who had reached much earlier had reserved seats for us. Now there was a huge controversy over seat reservations as well! A few folks who arrived a little earlier than us and could not find decent seats were pretty miffed and went to the extent of complaining to the manager of the theater! Apparently our friends were at the receiving end of several cold glares and angry outbursts when they refused to let people sit in the empty seats next to them. So before we knew it, the hall was packed. Every single seat was occupied and people were still streaming in. The manager then had to put folding chairs in the aisles to accommodate those that they were standing.

And then the madness set in. The titles started rolling in and the crowd went berserk when the superstar's name flashed on the screen in big bold letters. There was a deafening roar accompanied by loud whistling and strips of paper and confetti being thrown all over the place. I had never ever seen such a display of devotion ever! Normally, Rajni makes a very dramatic entry in all his movies but in Enthiran, his entry was very muted and they stuck to the validity of the script and didn't go overboard which I absolutely loved! From then on it was total paisa wasool! There was an overload of Rajni on the screen. Every dialogue and every dance step was cheered loudly right upto the very end. My friend , who was sitting next to me had found recently that she was pregnant and she is a huge Rajnikanth fan. She had come well prepared with a huge army training whistle that she was perpetually blowing! Call it pregnancy hormones or just plain devotion to the superstar, she had the time of her life!! And so did I! I enjoyed myself to the hilt and found myself screaming and dancing along with everybody else. The thing to note was that 95% of the folks in the theater last evening were all in their 20s or 30s and yet they were rooting for the superstar and seemed to worship the ground he walked on.

I will not review the movie here but I will say that it was very entertaining and very well made. The graphics were absolutely gorgeous and Rajni outdid himself as the villain. The only sore point of the movie to me was Aishwarya Rai. She looked so out of place in the whole scheme of things and generally got on my nerves.

I went in wanting to watch a movie and what I got was a complete experience! Such was the power of Rajni!

Edited to add : Anyone catch the lyrics of the "Kilimanjaro" song? Holy Cow! It felt like the script of a porn movie while reading the subtitles on screen!

Influenc(z)e-a

2010-09-28T17:36:00.000-05:00

* So I have been really sick all weekend long.It started off as a cold and then morphed into a really terrible cold and cough with a stomach bug thrown in for added measure. It naturally fell upon the husband to take care of me and nurse me back to health. I do give him credit for being a sweetheart and indulging me and generally doing a good job of being my caregiver but despite everything, I somehow could not stop wanting my mommy! This obviously did not go down too well with M but he was nice enough to not let it affect his care-giving duties. I shudder to think of when and how the bitterness will manifest itself!

* I have know M since we were in high school and yet after we got married, I suddenly morphed into this control freak and wanted things done my way. Thankfully, I realized my folly soon enough and learned to let go and take it easy. I was hoping that we both would influence each other and some of our positives would rub off on each other. Well, it struck me yesterday that the end result has been that I have imbibed most of M's negative qualities and made them ours now so there is no distinction! So I am now lazier and less prone to losing my mind over a sink full of dishes and M, he just remained the way he was. This was obviously not the plan I had in mind but what the heck, I am at peace with it!

Hello World!

2010-09-23T13:50:00.000-05:00

Do you remember watching The Wonder Years? I totally loved the show and still manage to catch an episode or two on TV once in a while and enjoy watching it just as much. I think Fred Savage is the cutest ever and he managed to depict the pains of growing up so remarkably well.

I have had my share of growing up pains but its been a pleasant journey mostly. I met so many people with whom I have had very close relationships that lasted for a very short period of time and yet remain special to this day.I don't think of them very often. Once in a while though, a line from a movie or show or book or a remark made by someone triggers off memories and I am completely overcome by warm nostalgia. And when it so happens that the very person you were thinking about somehow happens to send you an email at that very instant and wants to re-connect, your happiness knows no bounds. You realize that there is still something tangible left in that relationship and you want to make a fresh start and forgot about the acrimony of the past.

Well, since it happened quite a few times over these past few months, I took it as a sign. So here I am, re-connecting with my blog and everyone in the blog world. I am back, baby and hopefully am here for the long haul this time! Well, time will tell but for now, I am just happy to be here :)

Happy New Year!

2010-01-03T10:16:00.003-06:00

2010 is finally here. I don't know what is in store for me this new year but I am hoping that it is nothing like the last one.

Last year went by like a blur. It started off with a bang with us buying a house and me starting a new job. But soon after, we found out that my mother's cancer was back and this time with a vengeance. It had metastasized to 4 other organs and her oncologist was not very hopeful of a good outcome. Long story short, she has been undergoing several different and extremely harsh treatment options and there has been moderate improvement in her condition but the toll that it has taken on her general health and state of mind is inexplicable. Each cycle of treatment came with its own set of side effects and issues and took away a part of my parents at the end of it. To their credit, my parents are a very strong and determined couple. They are doing incredibly well given their circumstances. They are hanging in there. In turn, I am hanging in there. I don't know for how much longer though. It also does not help that I live in a whole different continent. So many problems, no viable solution in sight.

Taking a leaf out of my mother's book, I cannot call 2009 a complete washout. I am thankful for a lot of things like :

* My husband. My rock. My strength. The only reason that I am still sane and functional.

* I became very close to several people that I met through my blog and I am so thankful for it. I know that if I ever need to talk, they are all just an email or IM away. And this makes me feel so immensely secure because my natural tenency is to keep things bottled up inside of me. I realized that I cannot be that way anymore. I have to reach out. I need to reach out. But I was apprenhensive to do so. What if I was turned down or ignored? Or worse, what if I was misunderstood? Well, my apprehensions were laid to rest very quickly. I can go on and on about each one of them, but if I had to associate one word or phrase with them, some examples would be :

This list is no way complete. I just want to say thank you all for being there for it means a lot to me.

* My best friends in the real world, especially this one and the one that lives in another continent and is the mother of the most adorable little boy and little girl I have ever met. You keep me sane and strong and focussed at all times and just let me be. I don't know what I would have done with you.

* My aunt who is a physician and everybody else in the family that has been there for us all through our difficult journey.

* All those lovely people like her, who sent me wonderful emails with precious information about breast cancer, who wrote about their personal experiences about battling cancer and who generally made me feel so much more positive. All this after either just chancing upon my blog or hearing about my situation from a friend of a friend. How blessed am I! Thank you all so much.

I just realized that I could go on and add a few more points to the above list which is so terrific under the circumstances! I am hoping that this new year is better than the last and brings with it happiness, good health and cheer. For me and my family and to all you wonderful folks!

I need a favor...

2009-11-17T14:32:00.002-06:00

I know I have been AWOL for the longest time. I have my reasons , most of which are too painful to articulate.

I have been getting emails and gentle reminders from some of you who used to read my blog and I am so thankful to you guys for not writing me and my blog off. So going by the assumption that my blog continues to have some readership, I have a favor to ask.

Does anyone know anything about the Stem Cell Research scene in India , especially in Bangalore? I did read a couple of articles that mentioned IISc and AIIMS. I was wondering if anybody had any information about what kind of research is being conducted specifically to cure metastatic breast cancer? If you do come across some information, would you be so kind as to pass it along my way please? Please. I would be immensely grateful.

I am afraid this is all I have for now. I will be back soon and I will write more and stop being so cagey. But for now, this is all I can manage.

Thank you all so much.

I am still here...

2009-04-13T20:46:00.006-05:00

My last post was a while ago. Every so often, I would have these surgent thoughts but I never got down to putting them down on paper. I could have written post after post about how much I hate my new job already or about how weird and petty my current boss is. I guess I was just too overwhelmed with it all because I felt incredibly ungrateful whenever I complained about my new job.I still have a job that pays and this counts for a lot these days. It has been an extremely hectic past few weeks. New job, new people, new culture, new rules, new job profile. Its been 5 weeks and I am nowhere close to feeling at ease.

It finally took this post by Cluelessness to shake me out of this bout of inactivity and attempt to revive my blog. I am in that really fun phase where I am constantly looking for ideas to decorate my house. I have all these plans that seem really cool in my head but its hard to find stuff that fit into my grand scheme of things and bring those plans to fruition. I am thoroughly enjoying the whole process though.There is nothing more exhilarating than the experience of getting to do your home in whatsoever way you think fit! It is for sure work in progress since there is always something or the other that needs to be done or bought or fixed or added or changed!

I am able to keep my sanity intact mainly because I am still on an incredible high, thanks to our new home. It gives me an outlet to let all my frustration out and give it a more creative and constructive outlet. Retails therapy helps some too. La Vida Loca, this is for you :

Update : All is well!

2009-03-07T10:57:00.002-06:00

I just spoke to my mother and all is well! Her oncologist confirmed that the lump was not a tumor and he suspects it is due to a hairline fracture of the bone between the breasts which has complicated as it was not attended to earlier. I wasn't paying too much attention after I heard the magic words, "The doc said it is nothing!". That I was worried sick is an understatement. But now all is well and I can go back to giving the new home the attention it deserves!

The past month has been really crazy. Just when something nice would happen, we would get some really bad news and would have to expend all our energy in trying to fix the problem. It was like a really vicious cycle. But I am not complaining because in the end everything worked out for the good.

There have been some recent discussions in the blog world about why people blog and what does blogging mean to them. I thought I blogged because I like to write. But I have come to realize that is so much more. I blog to keep in touch with all you wonderful blog buddies.....people that I haven't met in real life but I feel so connected with.Thank you guys so much for your love and support, it means a lot to me. It was very difficult for me to agonize in isolation and without even realizing, I ended up blogging about how I felt and what was going on with me. And the comments came in immediately. It is this kind of solidarity that I have always craved for.

Out of my self imposed exile

2009-03-06T14:18:00.002-06:00

Life has been like a really scary roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs that by the time I would compose my thoughts to blog about one thing, something else would have happened that would need all my attention and energy.

So what have I been upto you ask? Lets see....I was almost laid off from my job. But luckily, I managed to find another fantastic job just in the nick of time. And oh, we bought a new house! Yes people, M and I are proud owners of a warm and cozy home that we both are so much in love with! The whole process of getting to this stage was very grueling but the end result was worth every bit! So almost all my time was devoted to packing and moving and unpacking and then some. Somehow it just dosen't seem to end. There is so much to be done everyday. I will write all about our experience in a seperate post.

But amidst all this excitement, there is so much despair that it makes it almost impossible to feel any happiness. I have already written about my mother's battle with breast cancer and how she overcame it. Just when we were beginning to heave a sigh of relief and forget all about it, she found another lump in her breast and back. She is getting it checked out tomorrow and we will know more by Saturday evening. I have just gone numb from inside. I go about doing my chores mechanically as I feel almost incapable ot feeling anything. My mother is one tough cookie. But she has gone through so much and has been battle-scarred pretty badly. She deserves good health and happiness and peace of mind but instead, a very scary shadow of doubt has been cast. I am hoping and praying fervently that the lumps turn out to be benign and that it is nothing serious. I will be starting my new job from Monday so I don't see how I can take off and go to India in case the need arises. I cannot imagine how my parents will handle things by themselves. Its just breaking my heart. I cannot wait for Saturday to know more. At the same time , I don't want Saturday to come.

I love you, Amma. I am hoping and praying that it is nothing....that you will be just fine.

Show me the money (a'la Jerry Maguire..)

2009-01-08T10:29:00.003-06:00

The current economic recession has been on everyone's mind from the last few months. Earlier it used to be more of a topic for debate and discussion but off late I have begun to see its impact from close quarters and it doesn't look pretty at all. Things have begun to look a little shaky at work what with the funding for our project being in jeopardy. I hear hushed whispers of how it would be better for all of us if we had "our options open". All kinds of rumors are being circulated and it is just adding to the uncertainty. For now,I am just glad I still have a job! I also see how some very close friends are grappling with their respective situations and it makes me feel very sad and frustrated.

A bunch of us had gone to the Winstar casino in Gainesville, OK, last weekend and for those 3-4 hours, it was so easy to forget about how bad the economy is and how it is impacting everybody. The casino is really huge and 80% of the area was filled with slot machines of different kinds.And every single one of them was occupied! People were merrily gambling away their money and each bet was a minimum of $100. We saw this guy lose $100 in less than 10 seconds at this high stake slot machine and he went on play for yet another $100 bet. We were not too keen on gambling as we were there to just have some fun and take in the sights so we decided to set ourselves a limit of a measly $10 each. The other seasoned gamblers had a good laugh at our expense! But then again it was our hard earned money and we were not willing to part with too much of it so there.

So yeah, its been a mixed start to the new year. There is some uncertainity but the possibilites are endless and I am determined to not get bogged down by the negativity and stay focussed. It is hard but I am sure it can be done.

The year that was...

2008-12-30T11:54:00.002-06:00

I am not big into retrospection in general because it usually is a very tiring process. It should suffice to say that this year has been good.

M and I traveled around the country quite a bit and we saw some amazing places and indulged in some real fun activities like white water rafting. Both of us turned 30 and had a blast while doing so. I got to meet both my best friends and it was wonderful. I got to spend time with my darling little niece. I re-connected and bonded with certain members of my family and it felt great. M and I took some really important decisions and we so look forward to their fruition next year. I made some new friends and got back in touch with some old ones. I met some of my blogger friends and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with them. I developed a wonderful friendship with some other terrific bloggers and I so look forward to meeting them in person sometime soon.

My professional life wasn't as exciting though and I wasn't in the best of health either but I am hoping this will be remedied in the year(s) to come.But apart from that,I have no complaints. Its been a wonderful year and I can already feel the excitement as I get ready to usher in 2009.

Here's wishing all you wonderful folks a very happy new year!

Change is constant

2008-12-09T13:46:00.003-06:00

On days when I have free time on hand and nothing else to do, I tend to sit back and introspect. And off late, the one thing that I seem to think about a lot is change. Change in me, change in the people around me, change in the places I have lived in. For someone who found it very difficult to adapt to change, I seem to have taken all the aforementioned changes in my stride quite well I might add. Some of it went completely unnoticed by me and only when someone else pointed it out did I realize that there was something different after all.

People who have known me for a long time can vouch for that fact that I have mellowed down considerably.You see, I used to be this fire cracker, always ready to explode. I got into a lot of trouble for saying the wrong things at the wrong times but I could not care less. There were certain things that I just could not tolerate and I made it very abundantly clear to everyone around me. I was stubborn and my thinking was very radical and in essence, different from everyone else. I dated a guy 2 years younger than I was and could not comprehend what the fuss was all about. If I didn't like someone, I made it plenty obvious to them since diplomacy was something I totally lacked.

I don't know what it was that brought about the change and whether it was gradual or sudden, but I do know that I am a much milder version of my former self. Somewhere during the process of "growing up", without my knowledge, I became more tolerant and less stubborn. I still suck at diplomacy but I have learned to not say anything at all rather than say the wrong thing. But I still have very strong views about certain things and do not hesitate to express said views. But I find it hard to express strong emotions such as anger or frustration or even affection for that matter. And the part that saddens me the most is that I am unable to coherently put down my thoughts even on paper because that was something I could do very well. I could write about anything and talk about anything and always managed to convey my point very clearly across to the other person. But as the years flew by, I no longer felt the need to be verbose. I didn't quite feel the urge to try and explain everything that is in my head to the other person and make myself heard no matter what.

I took to blogging because I felt a strong need to go back to being the kind of person I was which is the more expressive and articulate version of myself. But so many times when I was overcome by very strong emotions, I found myself searching for words to express what was going through my mind. And this just made me feel sad since I never ever had such an issue before. Words came very easily to me. Thoughts came very easily to me. Opinions came very easily to me. In a way all of that still holds good. Its just that I no longer feel the need to express it as much. Of course, when it comes to a handful of people who are very close to me like the husband and my best friends and parents to an extent, none of the above holds good. To them,I am pretty much the same person I used to be and thank god for that liberty.

So basically some of the changes have been good and some well, not so good.I, like everyone else, gave in to the diktats of nature. I adapted. I "grew up". I became more mature. All very natural processes that everyone goes through at some point in their lives. But the point of this rather unwieldy rant is that I am still unable to decide what I like more ; if an old friend commented on how I just haven't changed or if the said friend commented on how he/she cannot believe how much I have changed and it almost seems like I am a different person altogether.

Money matters

2008-12-04T10:04:00.003-06:00

I am addicted to the lattes at Starbucks. Despite being severely allergic to caffeine, I cannot keep off the Starbucks latte. I have never taken well to caffeine especially in the form of coffee.I get pimples and my acid reflux kicks in and if the coffee was consumed on an empty stomach, I experience discomfort all day long. And yet, when the latte beckons, I cannot muster enough determination to walk away from it! Of course I don't do it everyday. I indulge myself probably once a week.

My aunt often comments on how drinking coffee from Starbucks is so pretentious and how regular coffee isn't good enough for me.Well, I have said this before and I say it again, I love my lattes so sue me! The husband and I are not big spend thrifts but at the same time we don't keep account of how each penny is spent. We eat out when we get bored of cooking at home. We go on a vacation when we feel we need a break and of course if there happens to be a good deal on airfares and hotel tariffs. We shop when we see a sale or when we have coupons. So yes we indulge but we don't overdo it by any standards. We are prudent and we are aware of our how much we can stretch ourselves financially. We have seen life as students here in the US and trust me when I say that being a student in the US is as rough it gets. After being through all of that, we want to take it easy and enjoy some benefits of whatever little we have of our hard earned money. The bottom line is that it works for us and that is all there is to it.

My point is despite the recession and the current economic crisis, there are certain things that I won't comprise on.Groceries for example.We don't believe in skimping on groceries and buying sub standard stuff. So the real question is where does one draw the line? You work so hard all year long and if you cannot enjoy the fruits of your labor then that is a very sad situation. So do you go all out and pull the plug on everything else except basic necessities like food,utilities and rent? Or do you stick to your current lifestyle and stay oblivious to the changes around you?

We took the road in between.We are aware of whats happening around us and we have altered our lifestyle accordingly and are in the process of figuring out what works best for us.

But I would really like to know your take on this matter and what you have been doing to adjust to the current shaky economy.

We move on...

2008-12-01T12:55:00.004-06:00

Mumbai has entered the proverbial calm after the storm phase. The finger pointing and blame game continues unabated.

Politicians are resigning from their posts, an action that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. They fail miserably in a task assigned to them and instead of taking responsibility for their actions and making a sincere effort to remedy the situation, they run away like cowards. And you have politicians insulting a brave soldier and his family. And there there are politicians that take their actor-kid and his director friend along to inspect the damages sustained by the Taj and Oberoi like it was a field trip.

What were they thinking? Is this what we, as a democratic nation, elected to power?

And then there are those SMSes doing rounds about how all the deceased in Mumbai were Marati Manoos and counter SMSes about how the commandos were all non Maratis. Really?

I know a lot of folks from Maharashtra and I can vouch for the fact that none of them would ever condone this regional bias that some demented people are hell bent on promoting. So all you nitwits out there, please spare the people of Mumbai and let them get on with their lives. Yes, they are resilient but that in no way means that you guys should put their resilience to test by subjecting them to your meaningless agendas.They have suffered enough so please show them the respect they deserve.

We lose faith. We lament. We curse. We hurt. We grieve. And then we pick up from where we left off and move on. Slowly and painfully. One day at a time.

'Tis the season

2008-11-19T09:36:00.005-06:00

So winter is officially here. My favorite time of the year. It is treacherous though since the sun is shining real bright but should you step out without adequate insulation, you would freeze instantly.

I have rediscovered my love for hot chocolate and the Ghiradelli Dark Chocolate powder has never tasted better. My sister-in-law and I picked up a box each from the Ghiradelli square in SFO and while her stash goes into the yummy cakes she's been baking ever since we got back, I have been ODing on hot chocolate. I finally get to wear my lovely, soft sweaters and my ankle length boots to work. I also get to feel super hot in my knee high Aldo leather boots and woollen skirts. My craving for chai at all odd hours of the day is no longer frowned upon and my co-worker willingly agrees to accompany me to the local desi joint.

And the shopping.Don't get me started on the shopping.This year the Black Friday sales have started earlier than usual to try and lure unsuspecting, hapless folks into parting with their hard earned money in exchange for some incredibly satisfying retail therapy.I have decided to do my part by jump-starting the economy with my shop till I drop policy.

Thing at work are slower than ever since most people are on vacation. It gives me time to take stock and get some fresh perspective on the way I want my professional life to be from this point on.

Did I mention that I love winters? And you?

Repressed memories

2008-11-15T12:18:00.006-06:00

Chandni said it all when she wrote.."Its like opening a Pandora’s box...". I read SnS's post on the same topic and I just had to vent.

I guess all our experiences with perverts while traveling in buses are more or less similar. My story goes one step forward.So there was this guy,a classmate in college, whom I was so totally oblivious to that I had no idea he even existed or that we were in the same class.Turns out that he lived very close to where I did and when he did attend college,we would take the same bus from the same bus stop.One day on my way back home from college,he accosted me and asked to borrow my Computer Science notes since he hadn't attended college for god knows how long and exams were around the corner.I obviously refused politely since I hardly knew the guy and I needed my notes to prepare for the upcoming exams. My turning his request down for some reason seemed to have had a very adverse effect on him and he took it upon himself to make my life miserable since that day.

There was this park that spanned across maybe half a mile from the bus stop to the street in which my house was.This creep and his friends would sit on one of the benches in that park every single day and the moment they saw me, they would all yell out my name as loud as they could.Initially I didn't pay much attention and just ignored them.Soon they started passing weird comments as well.That really got to me and I would turn around and glare at them and they would just laugh and do it all the more.I tried talking to that guy but it was of no use.I was after all this meek, bespectacled,class-nerd whose polite words were no match to that guy's abusive language.I told my dad about it and he went and talked to them but again it was of no use.My dad is again a very soft-spoken man who has never uttered a harsh word in his entire life. These guys would pretend that they did nothing wrong in front of my dad and make it look like I was making it all up.The moment my dad turned around the corner, the whole routine would start all over again.This torture continued day after day and I felt so miserable and helpless and angry and violated. That 4 minute walk from the bus stand to my house used to the worst part of my day and I dreaded it with all my heart.

A few months later,I was with a group of friends and I just happened to casually mention this episode to them and how frustrating my life had become.And just like that, from the very next day, it stopped. I never saw that guy or his friends ever again in that park and there was no one torturing me and making my life a living hell. I was of course thrilled to bits but I was also super intrigued about the sudden change. It was too good to be true.

It was only a year or so later that I found out what really transpired. In that group of friends that I mentioned earlier, there was this guy.Lets call him S. S was actually my best friend B's classmate and a very close friend of hers.I used to hang out with B and her friends all the time so I knew them quite well. S is the quintessential guy with a golden heart but a toughie on the outside. After hearing my story, he decided to take matters in his own hands. He along with a couple of friends confronted that creep and beat the life out of him and let him go only after warning him that if he ever messed with me again,they would throw him under a bus at the very same bus stop. That was enough to scare the living daylights out of that guy and he never bothered me ever again.

I don't think I ever managed to thank S enough for what he did for me. Everytime I brought it up, he used to just give me a hug and brush it aside as nothing. Except that it was not nothing. It meant everything to me at that time. Though there was no physical harrasment involved, those guys did lot of damage to my already fragile self esteem. It was frustrating that being in the same locality made no difference to them. It was frustrating that neighbours who saw them bullying me did nothing to stop them as they brushed it aside as boyish pranks. After all those huligans were merely shouting out my name about a 100 times.It was frustrating that I couldn't handle it on my own and that I needed someone else, a tough guy nonetheless, to make it all go away.

I remember the day I told my husband about this incident. I told him every single detail and I wept.M held me close and I could feel his body tightening and his jaws clenching in rage.It was so therapeutic to just let go of the demons and unburden myself. And then there is today. This is where I undergo another round of therapy by writing about it and opening up to you all.

I did learn to stand up for myself and be more outspoken and bold after that incident.I just feel that the price I paid for it was a bit much.

Where was I?

2008-11-05T12:38:00.007-06:00

Right here actually.Just that I have been really busy over the past few weeks.It was work initially and soon after, my mom-in-law came to town for a month long visit.She has been shuttling between our house and my brother-in-law's who lives in the same town.So a lot of fun was had and a lot of family bonding took place.A 5 day trip to the Bay Area with the whole family also happened which turned out to be one of the best vacations ever.Just that all the walking and standing in long lines took its toll on my back and I am still recouping.

Talking of family bonding, I guess every family has its own way of coming together and expressing affection. My family is loud and we believe in expressing our emotions openly and yes, loudly! We hug a lot and talk to each other all the time.M's family on the hand is quite the opposite.Both my in-laws are scientists, astrophysicists actually and they have their share of quirks and idiosyncrasies thereby living upto the general cliches` associated with professors and sciencys! So last Saturday, the weather was gloomy and the clouds threatened to burst open any minute. It was the perfect weather to curl up with a book and a mug of steaming hot chai and thats what I did. M and his mom spent all afternoon bonding with each other. Just that their idea of bonding was to sit in front of the big screen TV which has a CPU connected to it and browse through the map of California for hours on end! They both had so much fun just looking through the maps and figuring out the best possible driving options and flying options in terms of distance. I just sat there on the couch, looking at and listening to the mother and son who were perched in front of the TV on over sized cushions with their backs facing me and having such a good time.Something about that picture right there touched me very deeply.I only wish I had taken a picture to capture the warmth and tenderness and unspoken love in that moment.

M and I celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary tomorrow and it just dosen't feel like it has been that long since we got married.I have this weird problem of not being able to express myself all that well when it comes to someone very close to my heart.I wanted to give him a hand written letter tomorrow but knowing how words will fail me for sure,I did the next best thing.I asked him to write me a letter instead!He agreed readily so lets see how that goes.The journey so far has been wonderful and having M in my life has always brought out the best in me which I guess sums it all up.

Happy 5th, my love....and here's to many many more to come...

I want MORE.I want it ALL.

2008-09-17T16:30:00.011-05:00

We are seldom satisfied with what we have.We want more.We want a better job that would bring in more money to be able to afford fancy stuff.And once we burn a huge BMW shaped hole in our pockets while attempting to buy the aforementioned fancy stuff,we want more money to fill the gaping hole and thus continues the saga.

We are also very susceptible to the perils of comparison in terms of materialistic possessions or otherwise(beauty,intellect etc) and that is when jealousy rears its ugly head.On most occasions,we manage to groan and curse inwardly and not display our true emotions on the outside.As long as one manages to acknowledge the truth that it is supremely difficult to be all zen and remain unaffected by another person's success but at the same time be civil enough to not let negativity get the better of him,its all good.

Sue and Parul talk about how a strong sense of resentment is building up in the lesser privileged folks.I am yet to encounter this form of resentment but I have however been subjected to a different form of resentment and that too from very unexpected quarters.Let me elaborate.

An acquaintance from Bangalore was in town for a month on work and visited us quite often during that period.Now this guy is about 6 years older than we are and works as a HR manager in a highly reputed and big company and his wife is doing pretty well for herself too.They have a 3 year old son.They recently bought an apartment.Nothing wrong with this picture right?I thought so as well but that was from from true.Now at the outset,everything seemed good and he seemed happy to meet us and spend time with us.We dutifully took him around the city and showed him the sights and had him over for dinner every now and then or took him out to dinner so that he could try a new cuisine.After a few visits,I started noticing his resentment.He would often make comments on how his flat in Bangalore had 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms and yet, was smaller than our 1 bedroom apartment on the whole.Or how we eat out often and we can afford to do so since we do not have children yet.Why do you need a big screen TV? A regular TV isn't good enough for you any more is it? he asked. You people here in the US are so spoiled, he said.Everything of course was said in jest and was supposed to be a big joke according to him but it was very hard to ignore the inherent bitter undertone.It was like he was challenging me to a duel to see how I would react.Not the one to be cowered down,I gave it right back to him of course but I could not go all out.It was after all a double edged sword.I say too much and I will be eternally branded as a big show-off.If on the other hand,I say too less and I will have to live with the knowledge that this guy almost insulted me and got away with it.

It was a revelation,his behavior and reaction, to us and our lifestyle.He was trying so hard to make us feel guilty for being better off than him inspite of us being younger.It was almost as if we had been given everything that we owned in charity.I just don't get it.Its not like we started of like this.In fact,when M and I got married, all we truly had that was ours was a hefty student loan.We had very little money but somehow it never affected us too much.We were happy.We worked hard and we got by and we saved and we scraped and here we are.Whatever little we have today is what we earned.And I am guessing this is the case with most people,isn't it?We of course are discounting those lucky bums that had rich forefathers leave behind pot loads of gold and a palace or two.

The icing on the cake,however, wass this ridiculous assumption that since we lived in the US of A,we made more money than our counterparts back home and that money here,came by very easily.So as a rule of thumb, we are forced to do the spending every time we go out with him and his family, either here or in Bangalore.

I can perhaps understand if my maid or my watchman or that homeless person on the street showed resentment.I would attribute that to lack of education and class and years of suppressed angst.But when a well-educated man makes such banal comments and shows such utter lack of good judgement,respect and class, it is very hard to digest.

WTHeyy?

2008-09-15T15:09:00.002-05:00

This weekend was a quiet one and was mostly spent indoors thanks to the incessant rains that came our way courtesy hurricane Ike.The husband was engrossed in Wii Tennis and monopolized the television.And like any other self-respecting techie,I took control of the laptop.During random website hopping, I chanced upon some videos of the Tamil talk show hosted by Anu Hassan.We used to watch this show quite regularly when my parents were here on vacation and I did quite like it as Anu did a darn good job as the host.So this week, her guests on the show belonged to the cast of a newly released Tamil movie which was apparently about a prostitute with a golden heart.The interview itself proceeded along familiar lines and everything seemed ok until the producer of the movie decided to share his two cents.He said something along the lines of :

"I come from a Brahmin family.When I heard the subject,I was very apprehensive about producing such a film since it had a prostitute as the main protaganist.I had several discussions with my family and only when they gave me their blessing,I decided to go ahead."

So yes,the oldest trade known to man is a touchy and uncomfortable subject to dwell upon.But what does being a Brahmin have to do with it?And this was just cinema.A form of art.Why the need to over-indulge and pontificate? Why unnecessarily bring in religion and caste ?

I was now curious to see what the fuss was all about and proceeded to watch the movie online.I could just about sit through the first 10 minutes.There is acting and then there is acting. Even if I could ignore the absurd and ridiculous portrayal of a harlot by the lead actress,the way the story was unfolding was just so damn ridiculous.This woman lives in a small town and everyone in the town knows what she does for a living.But she is so overly generous and helpful that everyone worships her.She is portrayed as this pious goddess who would have had a temple constructed in her name if not for her profession.Every other dialog was a eulogy to her.I really did not get what the director was trying to convey through this film.Why the need to glorify this character? So it does not matter that you are a prostitute as long as you spend the rest of your time and all your money in emulating Mother Teresa?

Amar Prem and Pretty Woman belong to the same genre and then there is this excuse for a movie.Enough said.

And the award goes to...

2008-09-07T17:35:00.010-05:00

It is always a good feeling when your presence is acknowledged by others and hence I graciously accept these awards that come my way thanks to lovely La Vida Loca and the brilliant Thoughtroom.

Brilliant Weblog is a prize given to sites and blogs that are smart and brilliant both in their content and their design. The purpose of the prize is to promote as many blogs as possible in the blogsphere.

The rules:

1. When you receive the prize you must write a post showing it, together with the name of who has given it to you, and link them back
2. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs (or even more) that you find brilliant in their content or design.
3. Show their names and links and leave them a comment informing they were prized with ‘Brilliant Weblog’
4. Show a picture of those who awarded you and those you give the prize (optional).
5. And then we pass it on!

I find many blogs to be brilliant in terms of content,some of which are as follows:

The Bride : I am regular reader of her blog where she writes about her life as a journalist in Hong Kong and life in general.She has a very unique style of writing which is very thought-provoking and sattirical at the same time.

Biker The Dude : A celebrity in the making,this guy can knock your socks off with his humour.A multi-faceted guy,his hillarious bengulooru banter makes for a fun read.

Ms.Loca was sweet enough to consider her blogging friend forever and confer upon me this award as well:

Keeping with tradition,its my pleasure to pass this one to the following wonderful folks that I was lucky enough to get acquainted through my blog :

Dottie - a wonderful friend with a cheerful disposition.I could talk to her for hours on end!

Silvara - she writes with such honesty and innocence that it is like a breath of fresh air.I am so glad I discovered her blog!

La Vida Loca - she has a quirky sense of humor and is always so positive!

The Mad Momma - She dons several roles and manages to perform each one with aplomb! She is a very warm person and I am a huge fan of hers!

Chandni - A selfless person involved in some amazingly selfless work and yet you would never find her blowing her own trumpet which she so easily could if she wanted to.Its been a pleasure knowing her and I am looking forward to meeting her in person someday soon!

Orchid - She is another blogger that I had the pleasure of meeting in person.She threw open her lovely home to us by inviting us over for her son's birthday party and made sure that we never felt out of place that evening.

Divya Iyer - She seems like a very easy-going and intelligent gal who can turn even a mundane event into an exciting adventure on paper!

Renovatio - A very talented and creative guy with such a mature head over those young shoulders! Its been so much fun knowing this guy and he is yet another Delhi-ite that I look forward to meeting someday.

Pri - She writes so well!Her blog is as hillarious as it can get!

ThoughtRoom - A brilliant writer and an amazingly talented artist! She writes with a lot of honesty and integrity and I am really glad I got to know her.

Clueless Chick - We supposedly went to the same school!Though our acquaintance has been a recent one,I hope it will mature into a wonderful friendship.

Dewdropdreams - She comes across as a very vibrant and cheerful gal!I am so glad I came across her blog!

Abha - Her wonderfully warm and friendly smile says it all! Her passion and zest for life is reflected so well in her writing.I cannot wait to meet her and the little darling Cubby on my next trip to Bangalore!

Asaan - A supermom with so many varied interests!She does everything with so much poise and enthusiasm that she makes being a busy mom of 4 wonderful kids look so easy!

She said. He said.

2008-09-04T14:56:00.006-05:00

I believe in God.I am not religious per say.A puja for me is a silent conversation,which is in English most of the times, that I have with this really strong and universal symbol of strength that I simply refer to as God.But I love gaities and the beautiful bonding as a family, that a festival brings with it.All the rituals associated with a festival evokes very strong and fond memories for me since I associate them with my parents and close relatives and friends back in Bangalore.It is a very strange juxtaposition that I enjoy being a part of rituals simply because I associate them with the good times I have had at family gatherings.But I do not much care for the religious aspects of the said rituals.For instance,not being allowed to participate in functions during one's menstrual cycle or the rigorous madi system that is followed.All these customs do have a resonably logical explanation like hygiene and cleanliness and as long as that is what it is about,I am fine.But the moment people start twisting things around and turn the whole thing into a freaking circus, that's when it gets my goat.

The other day,I was invited to this distant relative's house for the traditional "arishina-kumkuma" or "haldi-kumkum" ritual after a puja.I wanted to wear a saree on this occasion and I did try to drape one too.The fact of the matter is that my saree-draping skills totally suck.I can never get both the pleats at the waist and pullu, right.It is either one or the other unfortunately, thereby enforcing a ration on my traditional and ethnic Indian wardrobe.After 3 highly unsuccessful attempts,I just gave up and went back to the trusted silk salwar-kameez.I got acquainted with this distant relative very recently and she actually appears to be very sweet and affable.Her in-laws are in town and hence the festivities in their household were on a very grand scale.So I reached their place and introduced myself and tried to explain to her in-laws to the best of abilities,how she and I are related.I don't think I made much sense though.The ice was broken as soon as her mother-in-law discovered that my parents lived in the same neighborhood in Bangalore as them.We chatted for quite some time during which she asked me about the husband and his work and I found myself starting my next sentence with, "namma yejamaandru..."(ewww gross!) that literally translates to "my owner" but is used colloquially in Kannada to refer to one's husband.I managed to surprise myself immensely at that point as this was the something about which I gave a lot of grief to all my aunts and cousins who used the aforementioned phrase.I was sub-consciously trying not to give the lady the impression that that husband and I are bohemian or liberal in any way.There was no mention made about how the husband cooks and cleans not because he wants to help but because it is his home too.You get my drift right?I had a really good time at their place but I could not stop thinking about how the evening had played out.

See the thing is I have never had to watch what I say or do with neither my parents nor my in-laws.Both sets of parents are very liberal when it comes to us so I have always been myself with them.Why, then, was I being so watchful of my actions that evening?Was it because those people were related to us and everything I did or said would somehow be a reflection on my parents and family?Or was it because she was much much older and I somehow felt a sense of obligation to say and do the "right" thing and stick to protocol?

I have come across several instances when people have blindly attributed someone's supposedly bad behavior to bad upbringing by his/her parents.Especially when it comes to the daughter-in-law.A very good friend's brother got married recently to his college sweetheart.The wedding happened with much grandeur and with everybody's blessings.A month later,my friend seemed a tad unhappy with her new sister-in-law.

"She hardly talks to people.We have visitors all the time and she hardly interacts with them.Didn't her parents teach her social etiquette?" she said.

I was too shocked to reply as this was coming from someone who has an MBA in Marketing and is one of the most intelligent women I know.Since when did being shy and uncomfortable in a new environment go from being most natural to a social taboo and a sign of bad parenting I wonder.

It probably was playing at back my mind when I visited my relatives.Communication and exchange of information between the US and Bangalore happens at such lightening speed these days.And I would want my family to continue to look good and rule the roost,no?

And we are back!

2008-08-13T10:21:00.008-05:00

For those of you(yes yes,the two of you) who wondered where I was all these days,sorry to disappoint you but it was just work and more work at office.I haven't had the time to do much else.So much for the previous post and all the brouhaha about wanting to do something with my time.I haven't even been able to leave comments on all your blogs though I did stop by and did manage to read all your posts.

Oh but there was this one major exciting event that happened which changed the husband and my life forever!Hold onto your horses now.I am just talking about our new Wii Nintendo! So the husband celebrates his 30th birthday on the 21st of this month and I was left with the uphill task of figuring out what to get him that would be exciting enough.I narrowed it down to XBox and Wii and since Wii is the latest craze,I decided Wii it would be.But anyone whos been trying to get hold of Wii would know how hard it is to find one in the stores.If you do find a store that has it in stock,the price is almost $100 higher than the actual cost.A colleague of mine suggested I check with ToysRUs.So thats exactly what I did and the lady at the store informed me that they were getting a shipment of Wii and Wii Fit the coming Sunday and it would sell at the actual cost which of course was an amazing deal.She however would not divulge how many they pieces they were going to get since the demand for the damned toy was so high.

ToysRUs opens at 10.00 am on Sundays.So this particular Sunday,I woke up at 7.00 am and slipped out of the house without waking the husband up.I reached the store at around 7.30 and there were a couple of cars parked already in the parking lot!So I waited and waited and then around 9.40 am,everyone got out of their cars and stood in line in front of the store.We nodded at each other and silently acknowledged our fellow geeks.It was amazing to see the number of people willing to stand in line on a Sunday at such an ungodly hour.All for a stupid toy.The doors finally opened and the store manager handed out a ticket to all of us who were in line for the Wii and Wii Fit.So only those who produced the said ticket at the counter could buy the Wii.Thank god for small mercies because there was no way I could have competed with the others there simply because of my comparatively smaller girth and build.I would have been pushed and shoved around like a little lost dog.

So anyway,I got my ticket and walked triumphantly to the counter and was handed a brand new Wii Nintendo with Sports Bundle.I was also informed that the Wii Fit is even harder to get and just like that I was the proud owner of the Wii Fit as well.I got back home and hid both the boxes in our garage and went up to find the husband still asleep blissfully unaware of what had transpired.The plan was the keep it a secret until the 21st and then spring the surprise on the unsuspecting guy.The thing you don't know about me is that I keep a secret really well from anybody but the husband.I hate myself for it.Many a birthday surprises have been anything but.So this time I was determined more than ever to keep the whole thing under wraps until the 21st.I called my brother-in-law to inform him that I managed to buy the coveted toy.On hindsight I almost wish I hadn't made that call because I could hear the excitement and buzz in his voice while talking to him and it just got me all excited.I had to give it all I had to keep myself from blurting it out to the husband.I managed fine until evening when this guy casually asked me what he would be getting for his birthday.That was all it took for me to spill out my guts and hand over the Wii to him.

The husband was mighty chuffed on seeing the Wii.He couldn't believe that I actually did all that to get him the Wii and was super thrilled about it which of course was the exact reaction that I was hoping for!And boy is that wretched toy addictive or what!We have been playing Wii tennis every single day since that eventful Sunday two weeks ago.I was swamped at work and would come home only by around 8.00 pm.We would have a quick dinner and then immediately get down to business.Wii Tennis.

In a way the Wii has been a blessing in disguise as it keeps the husband occupied since he has almost been rendered a handicap thanks to an ingrown toenail in the big toe that got out of hand and caused a major infection.The poor guy had to undergo a minor procedure to have the infection drained out and he is in so much pain and discomfort ever since.The Wii has actually helped keep his mind off of his leg.

I have managed to keep the Wii Fit a secret still.I just hope it makes up for the fact that I took away the surprise element from his birthday.

What can I do?

2008-07-25T11:12:00.003-05:00

So I seem to have some time on hand and I have been racking my brains to come up with something to do.Something different.Something useful.

Last summer I took swimming lessons and did a brief stint of hosting a radio program at a local radio station.This summer I am stumped for ideas.So I am turning to all you people out there for suggestions about what I can do this summer.

I am looking at learning Spanish.I would also like to something that would supplement my professional IT experience and look good on my resume.Any ideas?

Also has anyone heard of the CAPM(Certified Associate in Project Management) certification?Is it any good?

I am so looking forward to all that you wonderful people have to say!

Favorite Literary Characters

2008-07-17T10:41:00.004-05:00

I wanted to do this tag for a long time now but for some reason I forgot all about it until today.

So here goes my list which of course is nowhere close to being comprehensive:

*Howard Roark - in Fountainhead.
I loved the book and I loved this character as I could somehow identify so much with him.

*Holden Caulfield - in Catcher in the Rye.
An absolute lunatic but with a razor-sharp wit.Also loved the way he melts into a puddle of love when he interacts with his little sister and the relationship that he shared with his deceased younger brother.

*Atticus Finch - in To Kill A Mockingbird.
A strong man with such strong principles and a wonderful, wonderful father.I would marry him in a hearbeat!

*Florentyna Kane - in The Prodigal Daughter.
An amazing woman who is intelligent,clever,witty,strong,principled and determined.I like the way she lives her life and dreams despite having an over achiever for a father.

*William Kane and Abel Rosnovski - in Kane and Abel.
What wonderful characters.Loved the way they try to out-do each other at every step.

*Hassan - in The Kite Runner.
Everyone wishes for a friend like him.Loyal,forgiving and loving to a fault.

*Frederick Algernon Trotville(Fatty)- in Enid Blyton's Five find-outers and a dog .
Oh what a fun series that was!This lesser known "Famous Five" series is everything that one can expect out of an Enid Blyton detective series.And Fatty was just ridiculously clever and outrageous.I have the fondest memories of reading these books as a child and I think I owned almost all the books in this series though I enjoyed the other Famous Five and Secret Seven books just as much.

*Oliver Barrett & Jennifer Cavelleri - in Love Story.
I am a sucker for love stories that have protagonists gunning for each other's throats in the beginning and don't realize when the hate turns into love but eventually do end up together! The husband and I fell in love on similar premises.So!(Abhipraya,this one was for you!)

*Hercule Poirot - I loved reading about detectives and how they solved crimes.Poirot especially as I would imagine his egg-head and pencil mustache all the time and was thrilled when my imagination was very close to the character on the TV series.

*Sherlock Holmes - At one point in time,I used to try and incorporate "Elementary,Mr.Watson" in almost every conversation!My all time favorite detective.

Do you have any absolute favorite literary character that brings back fond memories?

Of being different

2008-07-15T10:13:00.013-05:00

I get that a lot.People telling me that I am "different" from the other girls they have ever known.
Maybe.May not be.Depends on who is asking the question.Of course it has nothing to do with my sexual orientation.Just in case your devious minds are conjuring up any such idea.It is just all about the preconceived notions that one has when meeting someone for the first time.

In school and then while in college during my PU(pre-university) days,I was very lucky to have met like minded people and formed bonds that have withstood the test of time.Trouble started when I got into Engineering College.I met so many people from so many different schools and backgrounds and while I always thought I blended well into the crowd,everyone else begged to differ. They felt I was different.That I stood out from the rest of the crowd.And why was that?Because I spoke good English.I loved to read.I loved sports and was good at it too.I was comfortable in the company of guys.I was good at academics but was ever ready to bunk classes and go watch a movie.I loved to participate in debates and quizzes as well as song and dance programs.I wore glasses.I enjoyed a good discussion.I appreciated honesty and openness.All of which seemed pretty normal to me since that was the kind of person I was all along.

All my close friends enjoyed doing pretty much the same things and nobody had a problem until then.As time passed and I realized that I had trouble making good friends,I began to feel the difference too.I had just then read Ann Rynd's Fountainhead and was able to identify so much with Howard Roark.Not that I was as anti-social as he was but I did prefer to hang out with like minded people and that was proving to be increasingly difficult.So I did the next best thing.I settled.Well actually I had just become more open minded and realized that I have to expand my horizon and be more accepting of people just as I expect of them.But at that point,it seemed to me like I was just making a comprise.So I did get to hang out with friends and we did have a good time but there was something amiss.

I have met a lot of people ever since and made many friends too.But I have been subjected to the "you are so different" tag ever so often.In fact, just last week, I was chatting with a friend of mine and he said and I quote,

"but you know,you don;t look the filmy types..more like the studious non responsive,books only matter types but i guess looks can very deceptive"

This was just after I told him all about how the husband and I met and fell in love!

I guess ultimately it is all about choice and preference and tastes.And also knowing that one needs to be open minded and less rigid when it comes to making friends and meeting people.And steering clear of preconceived notions does help to a large extent.But then just like how you fall in love with THE one,just like that, with the knowledge that he/she is so right for you,making good friends is also a similar process.It doesn't take much to realize that you can get along really well with someone.Blogging is a one such example.I met a couple of bloggers for the first time without having interacted much except for the occasional emails and chat conversations on gTalk and we hit it off instantly.What say,Dottie?

Its like how I like Aamir Khan for his intelligence whereas I don't quite care for SRK.Not to say that AK does not have any flaws and that he is perfect.Or that SRK is a duech bag.Its just that I like AK despite his flaws because his intelligence and brilliance and the way he thinks all of which outweigh his flaws.

Wooo hooo!

2008-07-10T14:04:00.005-05:00

So I was watching my favorite show,So You Think You Can Dance, last night and I jumped off the couch in sheer delight on two occasions.Both times the couple that was dancing was one my favorites on the show,Katie and Joshua.The first time around was when they danced to OUR song.The husband was finishing up some work on his laptop while I was checking email on mine and all of a sudden the song started playing.Both us looked up at that very instant and turned towards each other and exchanged that smile and kissed once we realized that they were actually dancing to our song.Neat!

The second instance was towards the end of the show when the very same couple danced to "Dhoom thaana" from Om Shanthi Om which was choreographed by Nakul Dev Mahajan.This was the very first time that they had a Bollywood dance number on the show and it was just so nice to see these two do the perfect thumkas and jhatkas in typical Bollywood style!Everybody in the audience as well as the judges enjoyed the performance immensely as did I.

You so have to check it out here!

Rocky Mountain High

2008-07-09T15:40:00.004-05:00

Colorado was not our first choice of holiday destination for the long weekend.Seattle was.It was the $550 airfare per person to Seattle that changed our course and am I thrilled or what!After being accustomed to flat,dull,brown land everywhere and then to see lovely snow-capped mountains amidst so much greenery was such a treat.We hiked in the mountains at an altitude of 10,000 feet which was an adventure in itself for me as I could barely breathe and walk 10 steps at a stretch at that altitude.The drive up the Rockies was beautiful,the drive back wasn't all the great for me since the motion sickness and altitude sickness got to me and we had to make frequent stops in order for me to retch my guts out.We also took the cog rail upto to Pikes Peak which is at an altitude of a whopping 17,000 ft.It was so damn cold up there that I had to jog around in circles just to stay warm.But what an amazing view of the valley from up there!One has to see it to believe it.And it started to snow just as we were about to leave which made for a beautiful and romantic sight.

How can any trip be complete without a round of shopping?Oh yes,shop we did in this amazing outlet mall in Denver where for the first time in my life,I found something nice in every damn store that we walked into!But the highlight of the whole trip has to be the white water rafting.It was fantastic!!Given the fact that both the husband and I can't swim and I was quite scared for my life especially after listening to that safety lecture by our trip leader and that we got sit right upfront and steer the raft with our paddles,we did a really good job.The water level was almost twice as normal and the rapids were really difficult to paddle through.But thats what made the whole experience so much more interesting and fun and also the fact that we had a really cool and capable guide.We shared the raft with this other couple and their kids aged 10,6 and 4.They made for excellent company and the kids were really cool to hang out with.And of course,I looked really hot in that wet suit.Well, so said the husband anyway.

Our final pit stop was at Erie where we met up with another very close and heavily pregnant friend of mine.All of us then drove to downtown Boulder and took a nice long walk on Pearl St which was really cool.We had dinner at this awesome Mediterranean restaurant simply called Med and the food was so good.We of course, had a heavily pregnant woman at our table who was ravenously hungry so that resulted in a huge quantity being brought to our table.But once we started digging in,no one was complaining and my pregnant friend had the last laugh.

I leave you with this.

Jab we met

2008-06-26T10:15:00.007-05:00

This past weekend has been one of the best ever,a weekend that I will remember for a long long time to come for various reasons.

It was my best friend Maddy's 30th birthday on Monday and her husband B,and a couple of her colleagues planned on throwing her a surprise party on Saturday.B being the sweet guy that he is, decided that the festivities would be incomplete without me(thats what I chose to believe anyway!) and convinced me to fly over to Virginia.All I had to do was to say yes.The sweet man even took care of my flight reservations leaving me with nothing to do except making sure that I would not blabber everything to Maddy during one of our daily conversations.

The party itself was a major hit and she was really surprised by all of it as her friends had done an excellent job of decorating the place and making all the required arrangements whilst B managed to pry her away from the home scene on the pretext of shopping.But the best part for me would have to be the moment she laid eyes on me when she let out this loud blood curling scream,dropped all the shopping bags on the floor and ran into my arms and we hugged each other tight, screaming all the while with excitement!My trip was made worth my while by that one moment.And of course when I met her wonderful little angel of a daughter.She is such an adorable little sweetheart who makes my heart melt into a puddle everytime calls me "Dhodamma" (Aunty or Mausi in Kannada).This little darling is the closest I will ever get to a niece so this bonding with her meant a lot to me.

And the icing on the cake was of course when I met our very own DotThoughts. She and I met at this mall near Maddy's place before I went to the party and I had a really nice time with her.The time we spent was short but nonetheless I am so glad I got to see Dottie.She is just as warm and wonderful as her blog is,very bubbly and animated and lot of fun to talk to.She looks so much younger than she actually is!She was kind enough to offer to drop me to Maddy's place which was a good 10 miles in the opposite direction as her house was.Oh and she also introduced me to the Bratz Doll, a hideous concept for a doll which I still cannot get over.

It was one helluva memorable weekend...

Edited to add : This has nothing to do with the past weekend but it does fall in line with title of the post and it had slipped my mind to write about it though I meant to.So I met another fellow blogger last year and this is none other than Ms.La Vida Loca.
It was winter and the weather that day was treacherous with snow storms and heavy rains.And our Ms.Loca managed to brave the rough weather and drive all by herself in a new city which was very impressive.We met for lunch and spent a good 3 hours chatting and it was so much fun getting to know her and her quirky side.When she mentioned that she was planning to spend the night on the couch at her husband's friends' apartment,I just had to invite her home and ask her to spend the night at our place.We have been in regular touch since then and its been really nice knowing this quirky girl with a really quirky sense of humor.

I have a dream

2008-06-18T14:00:00.003-05:00

Has it ever happened to you that you dream of something very scary but when you try and recollect what the fuss was all about in the morning,it seems so silly and banal?Well, it happens to me all the time.But the scariest aspect of a dream atleast as far as I am concerned is the fact that it recurs over and over again and this does a number on my brain.I am at a loss for answers when I try and analyze the dreams themselves and also the reason as to why they come back again and again to haunt me.

I have two dreams that keep coming back.One of them is where I am trying to make a phone call but its too dark and I cannot see the numbers all too clearly.This is probably a manifestation of the darkness because of my eyes being closed when I am asleep and dreaming.But the scary part is that even when I can see the dial well enough,I always end up dialing the wrong number.Always.I dial and re-dial like a hundred times over but in each instance I would have gotten the number wrong.

The other dream is where I am in college and its exam time and I suddenly realize that I an completely unprepared and I do not even know what topics I need to study.I am able to somehow manage English and Science but when it comes to Math,I am in a really hopeless situation.I have 2 days to prepare for the Math exam but the topics are so complicated that it is impossible for me to figure it out all by myself.So I decide I need some help and I try to call a friend on mine.And thats when I am unable to make the damned call.

Even as I type this post,the whole thing seems a tad silly but at that point of time when I am actually dreaming this stuff, it is the single most frightening experience ever.The panic and helplessness feels so real.And the fact that it is recurs over and over again makes it all the more frustrating and surreal.

While I am at it,I have been asked to reveal 10 of my deepest, darkest secrets or at least 10 things you don't know about me by the very beautiful Silvara. Well, lets see:

1] When I eat rotis with subji,I normally need a very large quantity of subji; for a regular person,the quantity of the side dish that I need for 1 roti would probably be good for atleast 2-3 rotis.

2] I have a bad case of "starting problem".Be it a new project or new technology or a new restaurant or a new dish or a new outfit or a new friend or a conversation even,I have a hard time with the initiation part.

3] I have never been able to do anything ahead of time especially when it comes to preparing for an exam or cooking for guests.I somehow manage to push it to the very minute and then I start to panic.But in the end I have managed to somehow pull it off.

4] My hand bag must have a comb/hair brush, chapstick and a packet of facial tissue irrespective of whether or not I have my wallet even.

5] I can get very competitive.

6] I used to make small children cry when I was a kid.Only those that were annoying or those that spoke in a manner that was way too much for their age though.

7] I cannot bring myself to throw away food.Especially if it something that has been sitting in the refrigerator for over a week.

8] I get very disturbed at the sight of neatly arranged dots or anything round and resembling a dot like for example daal spread out neatly on plate in one layer.I guess it has to do with this Kananda I saw as a kid which had Kalpana playing the female lead.She is very proud of her good looks and suddenly one day she gets this measles-like diseases that causes black round marks all over her face.Ugggghhhhhhhh.

9] I have always wanted and will continue to yearn for an elder brother and a pet dog.

10] I used to play a lot of cricket as a kid and I was one of the best batsmen there ever was.Until it was ok for boys and girls to play together without feeling shy or conscious,I was always in demand while teams were being formed.

It has been really long since I did one of these tags! I shall pass it on to DotThoughts, SnippetsNScribbles, Divya and my new found blogger buddies Imp's mom,cluelesschick and Abha.

Pain pain go away...

2008-06-05T15:35:00.003-05:00

And my back woes continue.

It all started early last year when we shifted houses twice in very quick succession.The first time around M and I misjudged the amount of work that needed to be done in terms of packing, cleaning, moving and unpacking and ended up doing everything by ourselves.This took its toll on my back and I was in pretty bad shape.Unfortunately,we did not quite like the new place and decided to move almost immediately.But this time around,we did not have packing to do as most of our stuff was still in the respective boxes and we hired movers.But the damage had been done.I could not stand for too long nor could I walk for too long.The pain was its worst during early mornings when I could no longer sleep and would have to sit up and walk around just to alleviate the soreness and agony.

I went to our family physician who went through the usual routine of OTC pain medication followed by a round of steroids.Nothing worked.He then did an MRI and found no issues.So he recommended physical therapy.There was no improvement in my condition.So I went to an orthopedic surgeon.He put me through the same rigmarole only this time he found two bulges in my discs in the lower back.But the treatment did not change my condition in any way.Finally I went to another highly recommended orthopedic surgeon who of course came to the very same conclusion as the previous guy.But this guy went one step further and asked me get steroid faucet joint injections.So 8 injections were administered,4 on either side of my spine.This was supposed to negate the pain during which time I was asked to do physical therapy in order to strengthen my back.Turns out that this was completely useless as it did absolutely nothing for me.

So I started physical therapy and the first session went off well and the lady did a very detailed and accurate assessment of my condition.When I was about to leave,she told me very hesitantly that she was on vacation from he next day and so my next session would be with a different therapist.I was so mad.I mean is she knew she was going to be away why on earth did she have to do my assessment in the first place?Anyways,the nest session was with this therapist Chris who totally sucked.She is the kind that wants to talk all the time,not only to you but to all the other patients.She constantly interfered in the treatment of the other patients while she neglected her own.And when it came to my treatment,she somehow never knew what to do.She had to consult the other therapists for directions all the time.I finally got fed up and asked for a change of therapist.I was then assigned to the director of that facility,a young guy called CJ.I soon discovered that while CJ is good technically,he has about 6 patients at any given time slot.He has no time to even listen to what I have to say about my condition.But since he is the director after all,who am I to second guess his work and so I kept at it.

Its been almost 3 sessions and we have done the same 3 exercises and the worst part is that none of them are stretching exercises which are so essential for any back strengthening routine.I try to give him specific details about my problem but the guy refuses to listen.I just don't know what to do.These sessions don't come cheap and my back continues to agonize me.I know for a fact that I am not getting anything out of the physical therapy but I don't know how to make that guy listen to me.Everytime I try to pin him down he gets away with some mumbo jumbo for which I have no answer.I feel I should just quit and do the exercises on my own since I know most of them and have done them before at the earlier physical therapy center.But running away from the problem without facing it head-on also seems cowardly.

I wish I knew how to deal with that guy and get my point of view heard.

Sigh.

Of this and that..

2008-05-29T11:20:00.004-05:00

I hate days like today when I do not have much to do at work.I got a latte from Starbucks, checked my email and did a blog roll round-up all of which took less than an hour.I now sit at my desk in front my computer, fighting the strongest urge to go back home and plop myself in front of the TV and watch three of my most favorite shows on TV : Project Runaway , Top Chef and So You Think You Can Dance.Lord,I am so addicted to these shows!I can watch reruns after reruns without the slightest hint of boredom,a privilege that was reserved solely for M*A*S*H until now.Blame on it on the Direct TV recorder.

One thing that gets my goat is how the fact that three out of four of the final contestants on Top Chef are women, has created such a huge controversy.In the previous seasons,the male chefs have always dominated the competition although there has been one female finalist in all seasons.Scores of people from all over the country have been leaving comments on the official Top Chef blogs as to how the TV channel,by design,chose to have more women contestants in the last stage of show.I think this is utterly ridiculous.So if the women are outnumbered it is considered natural but if the men are outnumbered, it is considered improbable and an outcome of rigging?The fact of the matter is that these women are outstanding chefs and two out of three of them are clear winners by any standards.Such baseless insinuations are doing nothing but undermining their talent and capacity as a potential Top Chef.

My day started off with some bad news at the doctor's office.Apparently,they have discovered another bulge and this time it is my cervix.That explains the dastardly pain in my neck and shoulders.Like I did not have enough pain already what with bulges in two discs of my lower back.This saga of pain and discomfort has been going on for almost 1.5 years now with no relief in sight.I have tried everything that I possibly could but my situation remains unchanged.I must be doing something weird to cause so many bulges in my spine but I have no idea what and neither does my orthopedic surgeon.According to him, for now, the only thing close to a solution seems to be lot of physical therapy and strong anti-inflammatory medication.Lets see how that works out.

Oh and we went to Russell Peter's show at the Improv.This guy is good!In fact the whole show was very good as the guys who opened for him were really funny too.One of the them was Paul Verghese, whose act I had witnessed not too long ago and I wasn't impressed at all as he was overly abrasive and obnoxious that day.See the USP of these guys is to poke fun at all the different ethnic groups in this country.They capitalize on the misconceptions that Americans have about people belonging to different ethnicities and come up with hilarious material.And both these guys are of Indian origin so most of their jokes are about what it is like to be a desi.Sometimes they tend to go over the top but on this particular day,both guys were at their humorous best!Well Paul more than Russell.I guess Russell lost steam midway as Paul and the other Filipino comic,Edwin something, had done a superb job earlier and their material was very similar to what Russell normally does in his shows.This guy,Russell Peters is so popular that his shows were sold out even without any publicity or advertising whatsoever.And the tickets were fricking expensive at $45 a pop.Good fun it was!

And then there were none

2008-05-21T17:32:00.010-05:00

There seems to be a sudden dearth of "suitable girls".Well,how else would you explain the franctic emails and calls that I get almost every other day from my male friends asking for my help in getting them hitched.Initially I did not take their plea for help all that seriously.I assumed it was just one of those typical,casual conversations that you normally have with your single male friends which invaribaly involves them asking you to set them up with your attractive single female friends.But when the volume of emails that came my way increased and the plea started sounding more and more desperate and the said friends implored me to do something about their situation,I was forced to sit up and take notice.

A situation as precarious as this called for thorough analysis which produced some very interesting results.So there is this guy.Lets call him Specimen A.I have known him for a long long time and he has always been the flamboyant,good looking guy.The class flirt with a roving eye if you must.Of course it was all in good taste but the fact of the matter remains that this guy was the kind who loved to be associated with and seen in the company of pretty girls.He never did seem like the kind of guy who would ever want to settle down or worse,commit to one woman.So you can imagine my surprise when I was approached by him to help him do just that.I tell him exactly what all of us are thinking.Why would a guy like him need help in the first place?What happened to all those girls that he knew or dated or had a crush on or had a crush on him ?His answer?He has no idea.All he knows is that he is desperate to get hitched.And why is that?Because all his friends are no longer single and he feels awfully left out when with them.And he is tired of probing questions about when he was planning to shed his single status from his no-longer-single friends.And he is also tired of everyone assuming that finding someone should be a walk in the park for someone with a history as his whereas this was so far from the truth.I felt so bad for him that day.

And then there is Specimen B.Again I have known him forever.He is the quintessential nerd. Intelligent,hard working,soft-spoken,successful,rich.He has always been the kind who never showed too much inclination towards women in the romantic way.He seemed to be very content with his higher studies and later on, with doing well at work and moving up the corporate ladder.I am not sure whether it was by design or just a coincidence that he maintained his single status effortlessly.Now all of a sudden,he feels he is very lonely.He feels the need for companionship.He feels the need for the presence of a woman in his life.He wants a wife.And he wants to take the traditional route.Unfortunately for him,as hard as his parents are trying to match horoscopes and find the right girl,its just not materialising.

Specimen C.The die hard romantic at heart.One of the warmest guys I have ever known.He is quirky, funny, full of energy and a lot of fun to be with.And someone who beleives in a fairytale romance and that he will find The One in a manner that he has always dreamt of.Sigh.He asks for my help to make all this come true.As hard as I try to break the bubble and bring him back to planet earth, he seems to be fixated on his idea of romance.And he is getting really impatient that his dream is taking forever to come true.And then there is Specimen D.He is your everyday guy.A wonderful friend.Helpful,polite.A really good guy who is the most practical person I have ever known.Perfect husband material.And yet he is finding it very hard to find the right girl.

They are all so different from each other and want very different things from life.And yet they want the same thing too.A suitable companion.The right girl.The One.I have always maintained that things like marriage and relationships and having kids are very personal and individualstic. There is no right age or wrong age.There are no rules.There is no pattern.But look at these guys.Isn't there like a semblance of a pattern?They are all turning 30 this year.Maybe that has something to do with the desperation?

When M and I got married at the age of 25,we got a lot of raised eyebrows,friends wanting to know if we were sure this is what we wanted,friends wanting why we did not want to play the field some more,friends wondering if we were too young to take the plunge.The fact of the matter is that both of us just knew.Period.And boy am I glad that I am not in their shoes today.Ironically these days,we get a lot of I want what you have and I envy you guys.

Serendipity.

And it dosen't help that none of my girl friends are single.And the ones that are single are involved in a relationship.Where did all the single women go??!!!

You know,this is serious fodder for thought for people of the likes of that idiot doctor that Chandni wrote about a while ago about the extent to which female infanticide is affecting society.

Oh and what do we have here!An award.My first one!This space supposedly has Nice Matters according to the lovely SnippetsAndScribbles. And following the blogging-world tradition of passing on the said award to those I think are worthy recepients, I choose DotThoughts and Silvara; two of the most honest and sophiscated women I have come across.And they write very well too!

The big 3-0

2008-05-06T15:10:00.008-05:00

I turned 30 on Saturday.And it was the best birthday ever.The husband frisked me off to a 4-day weekend to Hot Springs,Arkansas and we had a ball of a vacation.This birthday will remain etched in memory for a long time to come for several reasons:

1] It was a fantastic trip and we had lot of fun doing simple things like a long hike and paddle boating in the lake.There was this one particular zen-like instance when we hiked up the mountain at the national park and all we could manage to do was sit there in silence and take in the breathtaking visuals.

2] I got several phone calls all day long from all corners of the world....from my parents and in-laws and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents....from friends whom I hadn't spoken to in ages......folks that I met through my blog and are now friends for life....from people who married my buddies and are now an integral part of the gang and close to me as ever.It felt really nice to talk to all of them and know that I have them in my life.A couple of these calls were extra special though.Like one of my best friends way back from high school who called all the way from Budapest,Hungary and we spoke for almost an hour,catching up effortlessly from where we had last left off.

3] The husband actually agreed to go on a spa session with me! The session itself was amazing as it was at one of those ancient bathhouses.The fact that M played along and ended up enjoying the whole experience was a bonus.

4] I got "drunk" drunk for the very first time in my life.And what better day to do so than my 30th birthday!! It was completely unintentional of course.We went to dinner at this really fancy place and we ordered some wine.This place apparently doesn't do wine in a glass and we ended up with an entire bottle of Chardonnay.And the waiter kept topping off our glasses after every couple of sips.So by the end of the evening,I had consumed close to 3 glasses of very good and ridiculously expensive white wine and was drunk enough to know it but not be able to do anything about it!So I was chatting away nineteen to the dozen and giggling after every sentence in the loudest of voices.A voice in my head kept saying "Dont talk.Stop talking.Sssshhhh.Be quiet.Now." But I just could not stop talking.I insisted that the husband run over some of the pedestrians who were a little slow in crossing the street.I composed a silly poem for the husband which he thought was very cute by the way.And several other things that I cannot remember too well.It was fun though and my husband was thoroughly entertained at my expense.

I have been getting a lot of "How does it feel to be 30?"I did do a lot of thinking and introspection just to see if I feel any major change within me.Honestly,I feel no different than I did when I was 29.It is just a mere coincidence that I felt I was ready to take some big decisions a few months before my birthday.Decisions that will change both our lives.Hopefully things go as planned and it all works out well.

This year and the next looks to be one hell of a roller-coaster ride and I can't quite wait for the party to begin!

Life nahin hai laddoo

2008-04-12T07:37:00.008-05:00

It has been a particularly unpleasant start to the weekend.

So about a couple of weeks ago,I was on my way to the parlor and I got my very first traffic ticket.And it was such a freaky incident too.I passed a school bus that had its stop sign on.See the thing is I have never seen a school bus with a stop sign hanging by its sides like little wings. Never. So I realized that I should have stopped the very next second after I had passed the bus and saw the stop sign but it was too late.The darned cop came flying out of nowhere and swooped in on me and very majestically handed me my first ever ticket.I was whining and mopping all evening about how unfair it was and how I should have been let off with just a warning.The husband and everyone else consoled me by reminding me that I could pay a small fine and do the defensive driving course and get away with it.

I went to the Municipal Court yesterday afternoon only to learn that I cannot do the defensive driving course for this particular offense.Oh and it gets worse.I have been ordered to cough up a fine of $433.00.Oooo yeah.The lady behind the counter was so amused that I had to pay such a hefty fine that she said she would give me a month's extension and that I would start my 90-day probation period right away.I guess she assumed I was a well-dressed destitute when she saw the grief-stricken look on my face while she hemmed and hawed about the how huge the fine amount was.

"Oh my my,this is so much higher than the construction area fines too.You be careful from now on,dear.The moment you spot a school bus,try and go past it like nobody's business." she said.

Thank you.

Then I decided to buy a new book in order to try and cheer myself up.There was this excuse of a book fair happening right outside my office building which consisted of maybe 4 copies each of about 10 different books out of which 8 were for little kids.Anyways,I spotted a copy of A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseni and picked it up right away.Oh dear,I could not have picked out a book that was more wrong.It turned out to be a big big mistake.Ok,it is well written and he has depicted the turmoil in Afghanistan very well..yada yada yada.But the book is so damn depressing.And it made me angry.Very angry.I was already all moppy and whiny and this book just threw me right at the bottom.I would not recommend it to anyone.Especially not to someone trying to cheer herself up with a good read.Nope.

Mirror mirror on the wall...

2008-04-03T11:41:00.004-05:00

Sunday was fun.We met up with one of our friends from high school for lunch at Genghis Khan grill.The food was great and so was the conversation and it was an afternoon extremely well spent.I guess the best part of it all for me was when the friend gave me a goodbye hug and said,

" You know, you just haven't changed since the last time I saw you.You look just the same! "

The last time I saw him was in December 2004.And he said it in a very matter-of-fact manner without actually intending to compliment me at that moment.So that felt really really good!

Like all normal women,I obsess about my weight and appearance.Thing is,though I think I am fat,I don't look fat.Atleast I make sure I dress well enough to camouflage the flab around the tummy.See thats my only grouse.The flabby tummy.More so because there was a point in time when I had the flattest abs ever.And then marriage happened.And laziness happened.And the move to the US happened. And introduction to cheese happened.

So thats that.Among other things,I have finally joined the elite club of people with spring allergies.Oh it has been really bad,the darn allergies.And it didn't help my cause that I got the flu at the same time too.Double whammy.My current trade mark is a humongous box of Kleenex that I lug around all the time.And I am just not able to drink water so I switched to Gatorade before I succumbed to dehydration. Just that each fricking bottle of Gatorade comes loaded with 200 calories.The newer version, G2 has like half the calories but the flavors that it comes in suck.

I hate Murphy and his stupid laws.

Guardian Angel

2008-03-19T13:56:00.003-05:00

I am standing in queue at one my favorite restaurants to order lunch and I am playing a little game in my mind.Trying to guess which one of girls behind the counter will be taking my order.And I am hoping that its the one with the pierced lips because she knows me by sight(since I frequent that place so much) and she does a darn good job of waitressing.I am very anal about such things.I prefer my latte at Starbucks in a certain way and there is this cute guy who does makes it just the way I like it.Everyone else there messes up my order.Either there is too much foam or no foam at all when I specify light foam.The temperature is never right when I say I want it extra hot.And on days when I badly need my coffee to be done right,it usually is, thanks to cute guy.

This reminds of one of the most bizzare days of my life ever.A day when everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong but in the end it all worked out fine.

So it was exam time and I was in my final semester of engineering.I had this policy of not going to college any earlier than T-15 minutes mainly because I would invariably be asked to explain a hundred things to a hundred people in the process of which I would end up confusing myself thoroughly.And most importantly because I needed all the time I could get to cram.It was no different on this eventful day either.Except that the weather looked really dubious.My mom kept reminding me to leave earlier than usual but out of sheer habit,I left home at exactly T-25 as it took about 10 minutes by auto from my home to college.I just about turned around the corner of the street and it started to rain so heavily that my umbrella gave way and flew out of my hand.And within seconds I was completely wet.There were no autos in sight and I could not even see what was 5 meters ahead of me as visibility was so poor thanks to the rain.I walked a little ahead to next bus stop hoping that I would get an auto as it was the main road.But again no luck.It was now T-20.My mind was totally blank as I saw no way of getting to college on time for my exam.And just then I heard a loud honk.I look up to see a friend of mine who was a year junior to me.He was on his way home from college and he had decided to take this route as it was less crowded.I had never ever been so happy and relieved to see someone in my whole life!

So this friend of mine,lets call him Mac.Mac offered to drop me to college and I hopped on to his bike.By then the intensity of rain was so much that we could not see a damn thing.There was no way Mac could ride the bike for a good 5 miles with zero visibility.So he suggested that we go to his house which was close by and we could then take his dad's car.So we reached his house and he was kind enough to offer his sister's clothes as I was completely drenched.So I grabbed the first set of salwar kameez in sight and changed hurriedly while he removed the car out of the garage.Since there was no use of carrying my wet back pack,I just picked up my pen case and got into the car.We were half way there when the car suddenly stopped moving.It would not go forward or backwards.We then realized that the car was stuck in a pothole which we had not seen as the streets were flooded.It was T-0.I was hyper-ventilating.Then Mac being the brave guy that he was asked me to just get out of the car.It had stopped raining by then.So we got out of the car,locked it and left it right there.Bang in the middle of one of the busiest roads in Bangalore. Before we got stoned to death by the other motorists for blocking the road,we managed to find an auto and got into it.I was now a little calm and hopeful that I will somehow be able to write the exam.We were about a mile away from college when the auto went into this huge puddle of muddy water all of which landed right on me!I was wearing Mac's sister's dress which was light pink in color and my entire right side was covered with muck.I did not know whether to fret about my appearance or about her dress being ruined!

Finally we reach college at about T + 10 and when it was time to pay the auto guy,both of us realized that we didn't have our wallets with us.We had left it in our jeans pockets when we changed into dry clothes.I could just die right then!Mac asked me to just go ahead and find my exam hall and that he would take the auto back to his house and pay him there.I did as I was told because I was in no state whatsoever to think rationally.I went to the designated building to find that there were 16 rooms on that floor and I had no idea which room I was in.I just stood there in the middle of the corridor.Blank.Covered in muck.Luckily,one of my professors came out for a drink of water and spotted me.He instantly knew that something was wrong.He asked me wait right there while he figured out where I was seated.I stood there nodding my head and shivering. After a couple of minutes he came back and guided me to my room and seat.He got me a cup of water and asked me take a couple of minutes before I started writing.I drank the water just to realize that I was feeling a little damp elsewhere.Nature decided to play truant and I had just gotten my period.Of all things!

I did manage to write the exam and get a decent score.Mac paid the auto guy at this place and then managed to extricate the car from the pothole with the help of the auto driver.And the car was intact, thank god.I got the dress dry cleaned twice before I returned it to his sister.To date every time I think about that one fateful day,I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if Mac hadn't passed by.Mac, I don't think I have thanked you enough for all that you did.You were my guardian angel.

2008-03-14T10:02:00.005-05:00

Edited to add: I guess I haven't articulated my thoughts too well.The only bone I have to pick is with the guys over at the slaughter house in this article.Their callous attitude just gets to me.My anger and disgust is solely directed at them and people like them.This post DOES NOT condone a particular lifestyle choice over another.

I am vegetarian. Simply because I believe in it. I have nothing whatsoever against people who eat meat although I cannot relate to it.It is their choice just like being a vegetarian is mine.But what really really gets to me and makes my blood boil is when certain statements are made.Such as:

"Humane and inhumane killing of cows in slaughter house......"

Excuse me?Could it be more paradoxical?You are killing as in ending the cow's life for your own benefit.What is so damn humane about it?It is not like you are euthanizing the poor animal or making sure its death is as painless and quick as possible.So why the pretense?Someone asked me how I can take such a hard stand when capital punishment still prevails.Well,you get the death penalty only if you have committed an extremely heinous crime.What is your excuse?

I do not expect anyone to justify the choices they make.Neither am I proclaiming that eating meat is sinful and vegetarianism is the way to go.All I am trying to say is do not glorify the horrendous act.Animals are killed/hunted for their meat and fur.Period.No point pretending otherwise.No point in justifying the act of killing.All this just makes it harder to stay objective.

Read this.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

2008-03-05T10:30:00.007-06:00

We have been following the Texas primaries and caucus closely and for once,I am really enjoying it.Maybe it is because this time around I understand to an extent, whats going on and whats being discussed.Enough to stand my own (for a while atleast) in an elections-oriented discussion.It is amusing to see the two Democratic candidates go at each other like there is no tomorrow.By the time the Democrats are done deciding who they are going to field,both Senators Obama and Clinton would have lost steam.Presumably Senator McCain is having the last laugh.But what a speaker that man Obama is!Inspirational does not begin to describe it.Fun it is.

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Things at work are looking up.Some new work just came in and we had the kick-off meeting yesterday.Of course,it didn't help much that our manager spent half his time talking about naming conventions which is like coding 101.I so need to read What Color is my Parachute. Thanks for the suggestion, bird's eye view.

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We watched Jackie Brown a couple of days ago.Loved it.We also watched Mithya, another gem of a movie and Rajat Kapoor's ~~directorial debut~~.Loved it as well.Especially this scene that has Neha Dhupia and Daisy Irani rambling away in Punjabi.Apparently Neha Dhupia can act!

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JustFemme,an online magazine, is organizing a women's film festival in Bangalore.The festival features five short films,chronicling women's lives in contemporary India.For more details about the films,visit www.justfemme.in or contact Just Femme at 9741437431.This month's issue features an article written by your's truly as well!

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Spring seems so far away.But I couldn't wait any longer so I went ahead and pampered myself with a really cute and springy floral black and white dress.Now the question is how long before I can actually wear it.

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I never knew blogging could be so much fun.I do not write as much as I should but it has been a nice experience thus far.I got to know so many intelligent and fun and super-cool people most of whom are of the female persuasion.This is a first for me because I have always had more male friends.I am loving it and I am really really glad that I got to know you all.You all are wonderful and its been a blast interacting with all of you.Cheers!

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Edited to add : Rohit rightly pointed out that Mithya is not Rajat Kapoor's directorial debut.I stand corrected.Thanks Rohit!

Moving along...

2008-02-29T10:01:00.008-06:00

So after the much needed ranting,I am going to move on.Thanks much, you guys, for your comments and suggestions and for stopping by.You know the truth is that I have nothing against my profession.It is just my current job that sucks big time.But yeah I have been contemplating a change for a while now and it is time that I did something about it.

Su is finally back from hibernation and she tagged me with this really fun meme.I first saw it on Once Again's blog and loved it right there!

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now (don't list names):

1. I wish we could be good friends.I like you for many reasons but then you just go ahead and spoil everything with your bizzare behavior.It is almost like as if you have MPD.
2. I know all about your schemes.I try hard to forget that incident but it is just not possible.You pretend to be someone else all the time.Why?
3. You need to get a life.Not everything is about you.
4. Screw you.I quit.
5. We will do so when we are good and ready.
6. You have changed beyond recognition.I miss the old you.
7. I am so sorry I couldn't make it to your wedding.I know you needed me on that day but I let you down.I am sorry.
8. You need to stop competing with me.We are not the same person.I don't judge you for the choices you have made so you need to stop being a bitch at times.
9. You have led privileged lives so good for you.But that doesn't give you the right to be so sarcastic and downright annoying.
10. I wish you were born as my sister.We would have fought like crazy but then we would have been the best sisters ever.

Nine Things About Yourself:

1. I need to connect with people in a certain way to be able to feel comfortable with them.And the ones I do connect with,I value their association for life.But I can strike a conversation with just about anybody.
2. I am pretty good at a whole lot of things but I am not an expert at anything.I can pick up something new at lightning speed.
3. I lose interest very easily.
4. I am very stubborn.
5. I will do something only if I feel upto it.It is very hard to force me to do something that I don't quite believe in or care for.
6. I love to shop; be it clothes or shoes and accessories or books or something for our home.
7. I used to be very frank and voice my opinions without mincing words.And that landed me in a lot trouble.So I managed to change and become the complete opposite.Now I either say what I feel or I just don't say anything at all.
8. I love to dress up and look good.I love going out.I love attending functions and parties.I like it when the house is full of people.I like good conversation and banter.
9. I have trouble at the very beginning of anything; be it a task at work or a conversation or a relationship.

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart:

1. Humor.Good humor.Make me laugh.
2. Intelligence
3. Be sensitive without being a sissy.
4. Be honest.Don't pretend.Give it to me straight.
5. If you make promises,then keep them.
6. Be attentive.Pamper me.Worship me.
7. Be there for me through good and bad.
8. Don't be manipulative.I hate mind games.

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:

1. How much did we spend vs save this week?
2. Thank you god for making my mom all better.Why her though?But I am glad she is ok.
3. We have such weird relatives.
4. Will I ever get to where I want professionally?
5. Will I ever stop getting pimples?
6. I wish I had more close,really good friends.
7. What if...?

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:

1. Losing my temper with my mom when she was unwell.
2. Letting the politics at work get to me.
3. Trying to be someone else albeit reluctantly with some people to impress them.It just came back to bite me in the ass.
4. Missing one of my closest friend's wedding.
5. Letting people and their attitude get to me.
6. Not being independent enough when I was single.

Five Turn-Off's:

1. Body odor
2. Boorishness and rudeness and arrogance
3. Foul language and cussing for no reason.
4. Unkempt hair and nails.
5. Bad manners and dishonesty

Four Turn-On's

1. Intelligence
2. Great sense of humor
3. Cleanliness; you know like washed hair,clipped nails,good looks,great body and smells divine
4. Mystery

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

1. Travel,travel,travel
2. Have the flattest abs ever.
3. Master and become perfect in atleast 2 of the things that I am good at.

Two Smileys that Describe You

1. :-)
2. :-(

One Confession

I judge people.

And now I tag : Dot mom, bird's eye view, shruti, Madhu, Silvara and Pri

I hate my job

2008-02-28T14:05:00.002-06:00

I hate my job.There.I said it.Out loud.

I do not have the slightest clue as to what I am doing at this place.Quit you say?But I cannot do so.Working in a foreign country has its downs as well vis-a-vis some unwarranted work visa situations and such.But I am so waiting for the first chance when I can actually run away from this place officially.Officially because I do so every day in my head.

I want to do something else with my time.I am bored of being a software engineer.I want to explore other avenues.But I am not sure what I can do.I am supposed to be an excellent speaker and when it came to giving presentations or conducting training sessions,I was always the chosen one.So what can I do?What else can I do that would make me want to go to work instead of having to drag myself out at gun point?

Do tell.

Alphabet tag..oh and today is National Margarita Day.

2008-02-22T11:20:00.006-06:00

The lovely Chandni tagged me with this ABC tag.[just passing by tagged me too but only as an afterthought :P]
I am so glad to be doing this today as I have no blog fodder whatsoever.So here goes:

A-Available? Depends on what the availability is for.

B-Best friend: M,my muddleheaded husband!

C-Cake or Pie? Why do I have to choose?

D-Drink of choice: A good cuppa tea and margaritas.

E-Essential thing used everyday: Perfume and moisturizer.

F-Favourite colour: Blue...all shades of blue.

G-Gummi bears or worms: Huh?

H-Hometown: Bangalore

I-Indulgence: A bi-monthly visit to ULTA.It always burns a hole in my pockets but what the heck..I am worth it!

J-January or February: I will just go ahead and say Feb as its shorter.

K-Kids and names: None.

L-Life is incomplete without: M.

M-Marriage date: November 6th,2003

N-Number of siblings: None.I am a spoilt brat!

O-Oranges or apples: Oranges any day!

P-Phobias: Heights and reptiles.

Q-Quote: It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

R-Reason to smile: At the risk of sounding like a complete sap,it would have to be having M in my life.

S-Season: Spring

T-Tag three people: Silvara M(not the husband but the other M of Reflections *grin*) and La Vida Loca

U-Unknown fact about me: My eyebrows have to be done no matter what.And the hair(of my eyebrows) should always always be in place.

V-Vegetable you do not like: Butternut squash.

W-Worst habit: I lose interest easily,especially if something is not to my liking or is not going my way or I have nothing invested in it.(This doesn't quite qualify as a habit does it.Oh whatever!)

X-x-rays you have had: Back,teeth,ankle

Y-Your favourite food: Comfort food.

Z-Zodiac: Taurus

She went to Fry's!

2008-02-15T14:45:00.005-06:00

So at around noon yesterday,I got this sudden inspiration to surprise M with a V-Day gift.After some serious pondering,I figured he needed an armband for his mp3 player in order to take it to the gym.So I checked online and saw that FRY's had a good one in stock.I knew that the husband was planning on going home around 3.00 pm as he was feeling quite under the weather.He has been down with the flu since Monday but has been really swamped at work and hence was not in a position to take some time off to recoup.

So I picked up the armband and a king of hearts mug and a simple card from Hallmark,went home,gift-wrapped both and left the card and the armband on the laptop in the living room and the mug on the rest room counter next to the sink and went back to work.

M went home and since the first thing he normally does is open the laptop,he found his first gift without any difficulty.And not to mention,he loved it.I went home 10 minutes later and was greeted by a sick but beaming M.And since the idiot hadn't even seen his other gift inspite of having used the restroom,I asked him to go look for it.He did and at this point he was thrilled to bits about his gifts.

He then asked me from where I bought the armband.I said FRY's of course.And you should have seen the proud look on his face that my answer elicited."Fry's?You went to Fry's?!Aww you went to Fry's." he said.Apparently the best part of it all was the fact that I went to FRY's for the armband.And what about all the effort I put into everything else?Doesn't that count for something?Silly fellow.It was almost like the male version of that ad for Jarred Jewellery where everyone raves about how "HE WENT TO JARRED!". FRY's is M's mecca for all practical purposes.

Its Tag Time apparently

2008-02-13T11:48:00.005-06:00

Blogging in this neck of the woods has been highly sporadic.Have I been that busy,you wonder.The answer is no.In fact it is just the opposite.For a while now,I have had too much free time on hand to the extent that I do not know what to do with it.I come to work,I do whatever little official work is there to be done,I read all the blogs,I prepare for some certification exam that I decided to take up,I go to the gym in the evenings and I come home and cook dinner even.And yet sometimes I feel like my head will explode due to the lack of activity of any kind at office.It is so unbelievably quiet and slow out here.

M tagged me with the five-post tag thats been doing the rounds.So here goes nothing.

Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances (if not, your current blog buddies will do) so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

Family : I don't think I have written too many exclusive posts on my family as such.I have made references to their cricket craze here. And also about something to do with birthdays and the family's take here.

Friends : I have several friends but I am close to only a handful of them. Again I have made passing references here and here and here to my friends from high school and college who are closest to me and mean a lot.

Yourself : Now I know why some of the bloggers I visit regularly called this a vanity tag! Well,a few tidbits about the way I feel about certain things can be found here and here. Something else that I feel strongly about is here. I love this particular post though. It is a whole lot about nothing in particular but there is a lot of me in there! Err....I am not as shallow as I am making myself out to be.So much for vanity!

My love : That would be my dog Lucy and of course the love of my life,M, who makes veggie pizzas with paneer topping from scratch! And also this post about our anniversary celebrations and this really cute post about this one really cute day!

Anything I like : It would have to be this post about my mom's battle with breast cancer and how she overcame all the hurdles with such gusto. She is one special lady and I am so damn proud of her!

And I have to tag 5 people?Most bloggers I know have already done this tag.
So lets see : Maddy,La Vida Loca,just passing by,Su(jpb and Su,you girls need to come out of your self-imposed exiles like soon!) and abhipraya(the new acquaintance that I want to get to know better?!)

I am the best

2008-02-01T14:01:00.000-06:00

I have always thrived in a competitive atmosphere.In school our famous gang of 6 comprised of the top 6 in class.The first 6 spots in everything ranging from academics to debates to essay writing to poetry recitation , was shared between the 6 of us.Coming to think of it now,I am a little surprised as to how we maintained such a healthy and close bond while never letting go of the competitive streak in us.To the extent that when we all met up recently,the conversation veered inevitably towards school days and competitions and all of us claimed vehemently that we stood first in something or the other and also claimed that we had the certificates to prove so!

It was no different in college either.Maddy and Bhava were and are my closest friends and we were all equally good vis-a-vis academics and the whole nine yards.Yet I do not recall a single instance when the competitive streak got the better of us or got in the way of our friendship.Well ok,there was this one teeny weeny instance with Maddy(Maddy,remember? :-) ) but nothing a good talk wouldn't sort out.

But it was like being competitive assumed a whole new meaning at my work place.The competition was very fierce and cut-throat to the extent that it turned ugly most of the times.I used to have huge arguments with the guys on my team about the project and most of the times I found myself just giving up half way through as I just could not get used to their aggression or their rough language.This became their mantra against me as it worked every single time.Be rude and talk nasty and she will automatically step back.Over time,my hyde thickened to an extent but nasty talk coupled with foul language continues to be my Achilles heel to this day.

Edited to add: The workplace I am referring to is my first workplace back in Bangalore and not my current one.

Random

2008-01-25T14:14:00.000-06:00

I got this envelope by courier from my parents the other day.They were sending me this little card that I was supposed to sign and send back to them.So this little card was in a white envelope which was inside another fancy "gift" envelope which was inside another brown envelope and this was inside the huge envelope that was finally sent out.All 4 envelopes had my full name and address and phone number on them.Vintage dad!

I usually give them a hard time about their little quirks but guess what.Without my knowledge I seem to have imbibed some of these quirks.Something that I swore would never happen to me! Like putting away the washed dishes for example.My mom would insist that each dish go back to its designated place and she would go ballistic if she found a mismatched dish vis-a-vis its designation on the shelf.I used to find it so amusing back then.But now,I totally understand where she was coming from for I react in the exact same manner when M does the dishes and puts them away at will.

Earlier I used to obsess about everything under the sun.The house needed to be spic and span.The kitchen counter needed to be sparkling clean.The vegetables had to be cut in a particular manner.Yada yada yada.And this prompted a much exasperated M to comment that I am so much like my mother!That did it I guess.And the fact that I was just driving M up the wall which in turn was driving him away from doing all the stuff that he used to around the house.I realized before it was too late that I'd much rather have M do all that he did around the house in his own fricking way rather than have to do all that by myself in my quirky way.This way I get all the free time I need to watch cricket and hindi movies and chat for hours on end with mom on GTalk....and blog!

Kya se kya ho gaya

2008-01-17T15:21:00.000-06:00

I just read this supremely entertaining and well written post by Spunky Monkey.

It breaks my heart to see the metamorphosis that my beloved Bangalore has undergone in the past couple of decades.During my LKG-UKG days,the cardinal rule that was followed by us kids was that everyone in the group spoke nothing but Kannada.If you did not know the language, you had no choice but to learn it.Otherwise you found yourself ostracized.Now I went to a CBSE school and we were supposed to converse in no other language but English.So my proficiency in the language was much better than all the others in the group but this wasn't very well received by them.In order to fit in and not be a pariah,I used to pretend that I knew just as much English as all of them did.So instead of saying ladies finger,we would all say byaanchakoy which was the Anglicized version of bendekaayi.The only English we were permitted to use was "Mother-Father-Sister-Brother Promise"when we had to swear solemnly that we were telling nothing but the truth.

Aside

When my mother would ask me to swear that I was telling the truth on occasions that I actually wasn't, I would promptly say "Lucy mele promise,amma."(I promise on Lucy,amma). Lucy being the sweet German Shepard that belonged to the owners of our house.

End aside

Cut to college and hanging out at Coffee Day and Barista when you would be frowned upon for asking for a cuppa joe in "Kannad". When people were of the opinion that they knew all the Kannada they needed to know to get by in Bangalore if they just suffixed everything they said with a "maadi" like "adjust maadi" and "give maadi".It still irritates the hell out of me.

Of priorities and choices and the right age

2008-01-10T13:46:00.001-06:00

I wonder all the time as to why we Indians are so age-centric.Everything that we do has to be at the right age.One has to get married at the right age,one has to have children at the right age.Even the little ones are not spared.There is constant scrutiny about whether the child started walking/talking at the right age?Was the child weened off at the right age?What is with this age fixation?

My brother-in-law is 8 years older than M and I and he got married a couple of years after we did.He was 36 then.My mother-in-law used to obsess so much about his not getting married at the right age that one had to see it to believe it!It had reached a point wherein all one had to do was mention the word marriage to push my BIL's buttons.He was utterly disgusted with the whole process and since thats all my in-laws(and their nosy relatives) would ever talk about,he just stopped calling home for months together.My BIL felt he was ready to get married when he was 36.So what?That was his bloody choice.He was a mature adult who knew what he wanted from life.There ends the matter.I could not believe how all the relatives took it upon themselves to get him married by hook or crook!And the funny thing is when M and I got married,we were both 25 years old and these very relatives wondered if 25 was the right age for M to be entering wedlock.Wasn't he way too young,they asked.Go figure!

The other day my friend R and I were having a nice long chat over Margaritas.Now R,her husband A,M and I are all of the same age.So our conversation veered towards the inevitable topic of babies which is when she revealed that she and A have been trying for quite sometime now but with no luck.She went to add that she got a nice big lecture from her MIL about how they were already past the right age to have a baby so now they better hurry and get done with it!It seemed like they not really ready for a baby but they have to go ahead and try to conceive one nevertheless because the in-laws think the right time has come.

Earlier it was the older folks....the ones that belonged to our parents and their parents' generations..that did all the poking and prodding.But looks like there is a change in trend.Atleast in my case most of the starting-a-family queries comes from cousins and friends who are in the same age group as us!When I told my friend R that we plan to have a baby after a while,she went ballistic!She enlightened me as to how all babies conceived after the age of 30 turn out to be retards and how it is always either twins or triplets.Thats the curse.Now take Farah Khan's case,she exclaimed!Errr...isn't Ms.Khan close to 42 years old?And since when is having twins or triplets restricted to older women only?All this coming from a seemingly rational and intelligent girl!I was appalled at how illogical and stupid all her arguments were.I mean, I probably would have paid attention to what she was saying if her reasoning was plausible and rational.But all I could sense was desperation and frustration on her part.I kinda felt sorry for them for the ridiculous amount of pressure that they allowed themselves be subjected to.From what I have heard,as it is conceiving a baby is not always a roll in the hay!

I cannot bring myself to judge people about the choices they make and the priorities they choose.I have unmarried female friends who are way past 30 and living it up.I have friends who are in their 20s and have 2 kids and are eagerly planning for their third.One of my friends is a PhD who has chosen to be a SAHM and is extremely happy and content.It is after all their life and their choice.And no one has the right to butt in.

Does everyone think so too?Or is it that there is always the right age for everything?I would love to know...

The Workplace

2008-01-08T11:45:00.000-06:00

I don't much care for it.My workplace I mean.

I am not too judgmental a person.I used to be but not any more.I can very easily accept people for who they are and unless they mess with me,I don't give a damn about what they do with their lives.And yet,when I think of my team mates,I can't help but go all judgemental-ly on them.

Most of my team mates are Americans and are old timers; been with the company for atleast 8-10 years.So it is almost as if they have their own code and their own rules.There is hardly any interaction except for anything that is work related which is a rarity since all our tasks are pretty well defined.The boss works from home most of the time and doesn't give a rat's ass about team building and the whole nine yards.In fact most of them telecommute almost 3-4 days of the week.The only time we get to see each other's faces is during the team meeting on Tuesdays.They will all pass by my cube but won't say a word.Not even a hi or good morning.Everybody is just doing their own thing.Sometimes it feels good that I have so much space and so little interruptions.But most times it is exasperating.I just haven't been able to figure out how things work here.Its been almost 7 months now but I still feel like an outsider.

Picture this.Last month,one of the guys sends out an email to everyone saying that we could all meet up for lunch at Romano's Macroni Grill,in lieu of Christmas.He also sends out the date and time.Approach T-1 and no updates from anyone about the lunch.Hence I assume it is still on.It is D-day and no emails yet about whether the lunch was still on or not.So this Chinese guy and I decide we will go together and we head out to the restaurant.We get caught in the lunch hour traffic and so we call the guy who organized the lunch to inform him that we will be late.And thats when the fool informs us in return that none of the others are coming so its just him and the two of us.And he asks us what we want to do.We then decide that we should just head back to office and let the fool get back whatever it was that he was doing.And thus ended our team Christmas lunch that never was!

Need I say more?

Heres to new beginnings..

2008-01-02T14:23:00.000-06:00

It is that time of the year again!Spirits are high.Resolutions are made.Resolutions to keep the aforementioned resolutions are made.

For a while now,I have always been disappointed with the way the new year has started for me.Every year I used wait for New Year's Eve in the hope of spending it in the most perfect way ever but in the end,something went amiss.I guess it had more to do with this silly notion of wanting the year to start off on a positive note so that the rest of the year will follow suit.Finally,it all fell into place this year!We had the most wonderful weekend at San Antonio and Austin with a couple of our close friends.And then there was the party on New Year's Eve at our home with another set of good friends.There was good food,good booze and good conversation. Nothing over the top but good enough to be left with a warm and fuzzy feeling.

So heres hoping that 2008 be filled with much happiness and warmth and hope and love!

Heres wishing all of you a very happy new year!

Movie mania

2007-12-04T15:08:00.000-06:00

So the husband is back from good old Bangalore with 2 bags full of goodies including chakli, kodbale, nippattu,kai murku,7 different varieties of sweets, the cutest kurthis and some really cool DVDs and music CDs.

At this point I must confess that I have this quirk.If I like a movie or a book,I can watch the same movie or read the same book over and over and over again.I never get bored.That out of the way,I was super excited when I saw the Lagaan DVD in M's suitcase.I ABSOLUTELY love that movie.Every scene in the movie was so well written and executed.Especially the cricket match itself.Every aspect of cricket was covered so effortlessly.As far as I am concerned,it was sheer poetry!But what makes this movie really really special to me is the ridiculous amount of fun I had when I watched it for the first time on the big screen with my crazy cousin Soms and our crazy gang of friends.

It was a Sunday evening and we were so many of us that we filled up an entire row of seats.All of us were self-proclaimed cricket buffs.All of us "expressed our emotions very vociferously" meaning we were hooligans.So we were all engrossed in the movie and were behaving ourselves up until the match started.And from then on,we were completely out of control.We cheered each and every ball.It was almost like we were watching an actual cricket match and we were cheering for our Men In Blue.During the English innings,we screamed like retards for every wicket that fell.And when Capt.Russel got out,my cousin Soms was cheering so wildly that she fell off her seat.And no one noticed.When Aamir Khan and the Sardar came out to bat,we gave them a standing ovation.Every run was precious and we made sure we conveyed our feelings about how precious the run was,loud and clear.My cousin Soms is very petite and cute and no one will ever suspect what a wild cat she can be by just looking at her.And she can whistle like a train that runs on steam,that one!And she showed off her prowess by punctuating every run with her loud and shrill whistle.When someone got out,we cursed like sailors . Everytime a four was hit,all of us stood up and did a little jig.

It was one hell of an evening.And while we were busy going bananas,there was this older couple sitting right behind us who found our riot act very annoying.See the thing is everyone present in the movie hall had joined in the party and were having a good time.But this particular couple were old school and insisted that we sit down and watch the movie without ever uttering a single word.Every now and then they would poke one of us from the back and go,"Yenappa,yaak asht joraagi badkothidira?" (Why pa, are shouting on top of your voice?) and "Yakamma, hudgiraagi isht galati madthiralla?Nimm thaayi thandhe yenu helalvaa?"(Why ma,being girls how can make so much noise?Don't your parents object?) If only they knew how much noise all our parents made during a cricket match!Where do they think we got our genes from,huh? When all their jibes fell on deaf ears,(literally because we couldn't hear anything in the din) they just resorted to making sarcastic comments.When even that did not work,they just went "hucch mundevu, hucch mundevu"(Errr..I don't know how to translate that one) in a disgusted tone like every 10 seconds.

But the icing on the cake was when the movie was over and we were making our way out,the husband and wife were generally complaining about our behavior to no one in particular and they looked at my cousin and went,"Magu,ninge thumba disturb aagirbeku alla,yaaru ninna pakka kootirouru thumba loud aagi whistle maadidhu maadidhe."(Child,someone sitting next to you kept whistling incessantly.Did it not disturb you?) And she went,"Adhe hinge alvaa uncle?"(You mean like this,uncle?) and let out the loudest whistle ever! The expression on their faces was priceless!

Serendipity

2007-11-28T14:39:00.000-06:00

I bumped into her occasionally at school.Though we did not interact,we still knew each other by sight.For some reason,I got this very haughty, arrogant and bitchy vibe from her.Both of us stood out in a crowd so it was hard for either of us to ignore the other person's presence.We even ended up taking a class together.Again no direct interaction but from what we saw of each other in class,it was easy to conclude that she was bright and intelligent and our thought process was very similar.

I then discovered that she was related to this friend of mine.A friend with whom I grew up as a kid and then lost touch for almost 15 years.I got reacquainted with this friend and found out among other things that she was my friend's sister-in-law.Talk about serendipity!So the next time I saw her in the cafeteria,I went upto her and spoke to her for the first time.I mentioned to her about our common acquaintance and we could not stop gushing about how small the world is.So from then on, whenever we saw each other we exchanged pleasantries and some banal talk.I graduated and got busy with my work.We emailed each other once in a while and talked about meeting up for lunch someday but neither of us give it a serious thought though.

One day,out of the blue,she called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her.I had nothing much to do at work and a long lunch break sounded tempting enough to accept her invitation. And it turned out to be one of the best lunch breaks ever!We bonded so effortlessly and learned that we have many similarities including the fact that both of us assumed that the other was an arrogant bi**h and had an attitude!We had so much fun talking about so many different topics that by the end of it all,we were cursing ourselves for having delayed the lunch-meet for so long.It is not too often that one hits it off so well with someone and that too, within no time.The so-called vibe that I got from her turned out to be so far from the truth.Here was this girl,devoid of any pretense,who speaks mind about everything,who is intelligent,an amazingly good conversationalist,a genuinely warm person and who loves to shop just as much as I do and has an excellent taste in clothes.She was so different from all the Indian girls I met at school. It felt really good to finally meet someone that I could bond with. We decided we would meet up for lunch once every week as our work places were close by which we did too.

And then came the news.The news that her husband landed this really good job and that they were moving to a different state altogether.And since her husband had to report to work in 10 days,they were moving out in a week's time.It was so unexpected.And weird.And unacceptable. We were beginning to bond and beginning to feel that the good-friend drought is finally over and thats when this cruel practical joke was played on us.I mean its not everyday that you meet a Gujrathi girl coming from a very conservative Gujrathi family and married into an even more conservative one,swearing by anything holy that she is an out and out South Indian because she was born and raised in Chennai. I so feel like a drama queen right now for not quite agreeing with the current scheme of things.But thats how adult life is like I suppose.You just accept it and move on.

To go or not to go

2007-11-15T10:26:00.000-06:00

I have been to Bangalore twice ever since I moved to the US about 4 years ago.The whole euphoria associated with a trip back home happened only during the first visit.The second visit of course was when my mother was unwell so I cannot classify it under any category.And now I have reached a point where I no longer get excited about the prospects of visiting good old Bangalore.It is almost like the need has been obliterated. M is in Bangalore for a couple weeks.Before he booked his ticket,he asked me repeatedly if I wanted to go along.And I said no every single time.

As far as I am concerned,the focal point of a visit back home is to be with my parents and spend as much time as I can with them.I do love visiting the extended family and the whole bunch of aunts and uncles and aunts-in-laws etc.I enjoy the get-togethers and the conversation and more importantly,the food!But its not like I would be disappointed or something if all of this did not happen.See the thing is I am the only child and I am quite close to my parents.Well, I don't know how to exactly define my closeness to them.When I was much younger and in school and college,I used to share everything with my parents,especially my mother.I would call her from the movie theater and tell her that I bunked class and I am here watching a movie and would hang up before she could even respond! I did not care about the scolding I would get once I reached home but as long as my guilt was allayed and my mother knew exactly where I was, I was ok.After I was out of college and started working,I slowly began to feel the need for some space of my own.I did not feel the need to tell my parents about everything that was happening with me.But I did not want to alarm them with a sudden change in behavior lest they start suspecting that I was doing drugs or something equally drastic!So I would still talk to them about a lot of things like work and office politics but just not everything under the sun.The long talks continue to date but again it is limited to everything that they have to share with me or bitching sessions about relatives or cricket conversations.

So when I was in Bangalore on both occasions,what I really cherished was the quality time that I spent with my folks.We talked and talked and sometimes we would be talking about the same thing over and over again.But that is the kind of family we are.We talk a lot.We are very physical people.We hug a lot.We playfully whack our mothers' bottoms and pinch our mothers' cheeks until they turn pink.But my in-laws on the other hand are not so much into talking and sharing thoughts and feelings.Whatever needs to be said is said.There is no unnecessary display of emotions.But they do make a sincere effort to talk and communicate with both their DILs.So when I visit them and spend the day with them,it is really nice because we have things to talk about.But the next day onwards,it is really difficult for me to get adjusted to their ways because there is hardly anything left to say.And so I try to make conversation to fill the silence and I end up saying something totally out of context and embarrassing myself and sometimes embarrassing them!

My parents were here recently for a couple of months and we had a wonderful time together.We did all the talking and bonding that we possibly could! And before that my MIL was here for a couple of weeks. So when M asked me if I wanted to go to Bangalore with them,I was inclined to decline.Apart from the food,I wasn't particularly interested in visiting my hometown for any other reason.I mean it is not like I don't ever want to go back or something.Given a chance,I would hop onto a plane anytime.But the trip itself would have to be devoid of any emotional baggage attached to it.It would be a short fun trip and I would be going to enjoy myself and to have a good time. And this realization is kind of alarming especially when I see my aunts who have been living in this country for more than 15 years get all hyper about their annual visit back home.

Its just that home now means the home that M and I have made for ourselves here.So it is our home and my parents house and his parents house.There is a clear distinction.

Edited to add:
I have nothing against Bangalore.I love the city and it will always be my first home.But a trip to Bangalore involves much more than just a visit to the city of Bangalore.There is a lot of emotional baggage attached and this is what I dislike.A lot of decisions have to be made about how to time slice between the parents and in-laws and the entire gamut of relatives.Everything one does is speculated and discussed.Oh it is not at all simple!In my aunts' case,a visit back home still means going to amma's place and get waited upon hand on foot.In my case,I refuse to let my mother slog in the kitchen all day long just because I am around and just because there is this inane need for her to feed me till my seams burst open.I would much rather prefer to take her out to dinner or lunch and be able to spend more time that way.Even when my parents visited us,I did not let her into the kitchen for several days until she declared war against me for doing so.My rationale was that she was on vacation and she deserved a break.But apparently she was feeling very left out because she wasn't in charge of the kitchen and that was her territory.I want my trips back home to be just about me going back to have a good time with my loved ones.But it usually entails a lot more that that.

Of anniversaries..

2007-11-13T20:58:00.000-06:00

I am still around in case you were wondering about my whereabouts.

So we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary last week.Considering how everyone has been gushing about it,I am safely assuming that it is an achievement of some sort.And I, of course, take full credit.We went out to dinner to this restaurant atop a revolving tower located in Dallas downtown.The view was spectacular for one got to see the whole of Dallas in about an hour as thats how long one entire revolution took.The food of course sucked and the service was ok.Apart from enjoying the view and each other's company, M and I spent considerable amount of time trying to figure out how the waiters managed to remember who sat where and when.It can get very confusing thanks to the constant motion and the dim lighting does not help much either.Fun it was!

For our first wedding anniversary we went on this really fun hiking trip.We got lot of phone calls from lot of people,wishing us on the occasion.And invariably everyone wanted to know what we were doing.(Not who silly,what.....what).And the moment we told them about our plans,they gasped in horror.Holy cow, a hiking trip?!What the hell is that?Since when did that qualify as romantic?Or a celebration? Who does that for a first anniversary?Who does that for any anniversary?How lame can one be?
So this year when we revealed our grand plans,everyone was very satisfied that we finally had become normal people.A candle light dinner in a fancy restaurant!Oh yes,that is how it is done.Look up any website and they will endorse it. Convention does count for something,no.

Food and bliss

2007-10-24T15:41:00.000-05:00

The husband plans to visit Bangalore after 4 long years, for a couple of weeks.He wants to spend as much time as he possibly can---eating(what else!).Now all he remembers is some chicken/mutton rolls from some place called Fanoo's.

So all you Bangalore foodies out there,indulge us here and help the man out by suggesting some really good eateries , you know, the to-die-for kinds?

Your help will be much appreciated!

Its only words..

2007-10-22T16:10:00.000-05:00

There used to be a time when I was considered to be rather impudent and rude because I said it like I saw it.I was brutally honest,like in-your-face honest. This trait of mine was a part of who I was and I saw nothing wrong with it. People close to me understood where I was coming from and accepted it. And as for the others who did not get me, I couldn’t care less.

But things changed when I started working. My first job. I was 21 and fresh out of college and that was my foray into the big, bad, ugly corporate world. People who did well at work were those smooth and slick (sic?) operators who knew exactly what to say at any given moment. They kissed ass religiously and knew exactly how to get noticed without putting in a decent day's worth of effort. They were sarcastic beyond reasonable limits and would switch loyalties in a second. I, on the other hand, was a textbook case of open mouth insert foot syndrome. As far as I was concerned, I was just speaking my mind and being myself. But it turned out that my brazenness wasn’t really appreciated and my honesty was misconstrued for over-confidence. To the extent that it started affecting the kind of assignments that were coming my way. So I decided to change. I was nice to everyone including those annoying MCP SOBs who could not handle having a girl on their team who was just as competent and smart as anyone else. I chose to ignore snide remarks and avoid confrontations. I did not argue or demand a better assignment. I did a good job of whatever was assigned to me. I was patient. I was tolerant.

On hindsight,I realize that it was just my immaturity and short-sightedness that made me change so drastically instead of finding an in-between, more moderate and appropriate solution.For a while, this avatar of mine was reserved only for the workplace. But as time passed by, it just became me. And I hated it. I hated the fact that I was overly concerned about what others think of me. I hated the fact that I don’t let my guard down easily. I hated the fact that I wanted to be nice to everyone and I was apprehensive of being disliked by someone. I hated the fact that though I was seething with rage from the inside, I found it in me to forget and move on like nothing ever happened. Until one day it hit me that all this was such a truckload of crap! Why on earth should I let go and then be trampled upon for no reason? Thank heavens! I have actually started making a conscious effort to detox myself and try and get back to my old self. There has been a considerable improvement in the sense that people rubbing me the wrong way do not get away as easily as they would , say 2 years ago. For which I am plenty thankful---to myself.

And yet I cannot help but envy people who manage to say the right things at the right time. When I am overcome by extreme emotions like anger or hatred or frustration or even happiness for that matter, I just clam up. I can never ever think of the right thing to say at that moment. So much so that I find it hard to even let out expletives. I don't think I have ever cussed aloud to-date! It’s like I am thinking f*** you biatch get out of my face but all I manage to say is take a hike. You get my drift? So its either open-mouth-insert-foot or close-mouth-stay-mum. But the good thing is that this hasn't deterred me from arguing my point or saying what’s on my mind to begin with. I have a long way to go though but the first few steps have been taken.

What maketh you?Apparently what you eat or rather do not eat.

2007-10-18T22:39:00.000-05:00

Today I realized just how much of an impedance one's food habits can be in one's social life.Four months ago,I started work at my current company and on my very first day,one of my co-workers, CP , invited me to join him and the gang for lunch.As much as I was dying to go,I had to say no.They were going to a seafood place and a side of potatoes aside, there was nothing on the menu that qualified as fodder-for-the-vegetarian.I politely explained my predicament to the guys and they pretended to understand.Because I was the new girl,I guess they had no choice but to let it slide by that I ate no meat.And then a couple of weeks later, the gang was going to Chick-Fill-A and again CP asked me if I wanted to go and again I had to decline since that was that was the day I chose to wake up late and hence be late to my physical therapy session and hence skip breakfast in order to get to the weekly meeting on time.So I just had to have a decent meal of which I saw no hope if I decided to tag along with them.And thus I ended up gorging on a humongous Masala Dosa while the gang bonded over chicken. Cut to the present. Today CP was rounding up whoever was there to grab a bite and guess what,I wasn't even invited! Apparently he was in the mood for a burger today and who has ever heard of a vegetarian burger anyway? And even if there was one,it was sacrilege of the first order.

Given that I don't talk much when I am at work since I take a while to get comfortable with people, I can almost hear them thinking the B-word in their heads.But it is so unfair,this whole situation.I don't judge people who are carnivorous,M included,so why should I be judged for not being one?Vegetarians are a legitimate-not-so-extinct-valid species,no.

Stupid stupid American-fare restaurants.

To be or not to be...married

2007-10-11T18:56:00.000-05:00

My Chinese co-worker,Zeng,was in a foul mood today.Why you ask?Her boyfriend shifted base to the US recently and moved in with her.Ever since he arrived,he has been terribly sick and just refuses to adjust to the place.Apparently he complains about the weather and the people and the food and everything else and this is driving Zeng nuts!So she says to me, "I always assumed that a live-in relationship would be lot of fun unlike marriage.But in my case,turns out that it is just as bad if not worse." This from someone who has never been married!

People seem to have all these extreme pre-conceived notions about the instituion of marriage, most of which is hear say of course.On one end of the see-saw,there is this section of people for whom marriage is nothing but a shackled existence involving complete relinquishment of freedom.They are convinced that once married,they cease to be their own person and are forced to do and say things which they don't really want to.They would just end up rearranging their whole life around their husband/wife and family and would get buried under all those innumerable social obligations that suddenly appear out of nowhere.Life basically morphs into one endless compromise and there is no way out.And then on the other end of the very same see-saw are the dreamers.These folks strongly believe that marriage is a fairy tale.Life is all about perfect in-laws,butterflies,rainbows,heart shaped balloons,lots of sex,lots of mush and happily ever after is how goes life.There are no fights,no arguments,no screaming,no sink full of dishes,no laundry,no vacuuming,no grocery shopping and no snoring in the bedroom.

And then there are folks who have been there and done that.Folks who know that just like anything else,marriage is also a mixed bag,a roller coaster ride.It can as much fun or as much miserable as you make it to be.Bottom line,just like anything else,its all in your hands.Makes sense right?And yet any unmarried person you talk is as extremist as one can get.I have never come across any bachelor/spinster willing to even talk about marriage on neutral grounds.As much as I endorse marriage and highly recommend it,I am not saying that it is for everyone.But what I am trying to do is figure out what it is about marriage that evokes such extreme reactions?That too from people who have never been married ever.

What?!

2007-10-05T12:09:00.000-05:00

Sometimes people say the darnest things. I was chatting with this friend of mine on GTalk yesterday,lets call her SS. Now I do not know this girl all that well. We ran into each other at times when in grad school and we even took the same class this one term. And we occasionally chat. Thats about how acquainted we are.

The premise: I had written about the high school reunion of sorts that happened during the Labor Day weekend? Okay, so I was going over some pictures taken during that trip and came across this lovely snap which has all the four guys : Nik, Ash, G and of course M and I. Bhara and Priya are not in the picture though as they live in the other side of the hemisphere and not to mention,were sorely missed. But the point is that this is our gang, our group of buddies who have managed to remain so for over 15 years now. We used to hang out together all the time in school and even after. We laughed, we talked, we pulled each other’s legs, we ate, we drank, we fought, we talked some more…we hung out. And now that some of us are married, our respective spouses also get to be a part of the group and we have that much more fun together.

So yes, the picture. It has the 4 guys mentioned above and me in huddle with me standing in the center, flanked by two guys on either side and one of them is of course my husband! And Ms.SS sees the picture in my Orkut album and has this to say and I quote:

SS : woh jo snap hai na... usko dekhke mere ko draupadi yaad aayi!

Me: wah!kya dimaag chaltha hai tera!

SS: main kya karu re... ek ladki aur itne saare ladke use gher ke khade hain..

Me: tho?

SS: to kuch nai……jo mujhe strike hua maine bola..!

I cannot even begin to describe how I felt after reading her comment…this whole gamut of emotions ranging from shock to surprise to anger to amusement to resentment to disbelief to amazement to I-don’t-know-what.It is not like SS is some old fashioned Indian broad.She seemed to be quite nice as a person.She is intelligent.She is outgoing and friendly.She is young(just in case you thought age had something to do with her devious mind!)And whats more,she has several guy friends with whom she hung out all the time at school.She seemed to be quite alright until yesterday of course.So where was this coming from? Was it just a frivolous,off hand comment that she thought in her mind to be funny and worth a laugh or two? Or was it jealousy? Or was it spite? Or was it her narrow-mindedness speaking?

I just do not get it.

I was ticked off after reading some really idiotic comments by two anonymous clowns on Broom's blog.But this...what can possibly beat this??!!

Tag-a-song

2007-09-28T10:43:00.000-05:00

Well,all your comments on the previous post have been so sweet that I decided to convert the our song thingy into a tag! No no,no groaning please.Trust me when I say that this will be lots of fun!!

And why am I so sure?See M and I have gone out to lunch several times,we have held hands and hugged and kissed and cuddled countless times and we have also listened to our song just as many times as well.And yet, yesterday afternoon was very special!I cannot explain why but both of us had that really warm,fuzzy feeling all day long.But we just did!So the bottom-line is that sometimes the oddest of things can make the day special for you and your partner.It could even be the memory of a pleasant moment shared between the two of you.

So my lovelies,here goes the tag:

1]If you and your partner have your song,then mention the song and how/why it became your special song.

2]In case you don't have one,then think of a song that you feel best suits you and your partner and mention why you think so.

3]If its too much effort to come up with a song,then just mention one of the special moments that you shared with your partner.

I know that some of you out there are going through a very rough phase as far as your relationships are concerned.This tag may not be that exciting to you guys.But I am sure it will remind of you some of the best times that you have had and how your relationship was very special. For some reason,it was not meant to be as these dastardly things happen sometimes.Whatever you had/have,you can cherish.

So go ahead and have a blast and let me know the tune that your heart sings and why!

I tag everyone that reads my blog and everyone whose blog I read:

Divya, Madhu, Shruthi, Mri, Renovatio, just passing by, Su, Pri, Chandni, childwoman, Broom, Iz, PlanetHalder, The Mad Momma, Bikerdude.............

................and anyone else who is interested in taking it up :)

What are the odds....

2007-09-27T13:11:00.002-05:00

....of you and the husband finally managing to meet up for lunch after several cancellations and rescheduling--going to a bagel joint of all places for lunch and quite enjoying the meal--talking about several non-issues--your song** getting played(yes,we have our song;we are that kind of people) which both of you are listening to after a long long time--holding hands under the table while eating with the other free one--the husband deciding that he could probably take half the day off tomorrow and work from home while watching random stuff with you on the new kickass TV. (I wanted to take the whole day off yesterday to do the same but was coaxed into doing otherwise.)

What are the odds I say!!

**our song : Iris by Goo Goo dolls

Side bar:
Gyaan imparted by one of the TV delivery guys : "How come the men are always home for the TV delivery and the women are always home for the furniture delivery?"

A concert.....soul food......touched

2007-09-26T16:30:00.000-05:00

Asha for Education had organized a concert on Saturday called Notes of Hope.The first half of the evening consisted of a mesmerizing mandolin recital by none other than the maestro,U Srinivas, himself.Now this was the first time ever that M and I were going to a concert,any concert.I enjoy Indian classical music immensely but I wasn't too sure if M cared as much.

The whole event itself was very well organized by the volunteers of Asha and it actually started well on time!Strike one!

U Srinivas was accompanied on stage by his brother U Rajesh again on the Mandolin,Aditya Kalyanpur on the Tabla and somebody else whose name I did not catch, on the Ghatam. And together,they created magic.The music was divine and U Srinivas lived upto his reputation of being a genius.At times,we were so captivated by the music that we would forget to even applaud and we just sat there with our eyes glazed and our feet tapping away to the rhythm of the music.They played for an hour and 45 minutes straight, at the end of which we were left wishing for some more.And M put all my concerns to rest as he had enjoyed the recital just as much as I did.

There was a 20 minute break after which commenced a dance performance by this group of young adults.This bunch of teenagers was a special one as all four of them were visually impaired or differently abled as their manager elucidated.They were from the Shree Ramana Maharishi Academy for the Blind which is in JP Nagar,Bangalore.One had to be there to see what these kids were capable of doing.They performed 6 Bharatnatyam dance pieces and 3 folks dances ,each of which involved very complex dance movements and steps and poses.And the wonder of wonders is that they got every expression right and every movement and step was bang on.They moved from one end of the stage to another and back to the original position with so much finesse and grace and ease that one point,I actually began to doubt if they were really blind.And their coordination was just perfect and not once did they make any mistake on stage.It was an enriching and humbling experience.

My sister-in-law A,is one of the volunteers of ASHA and she got to spend some time with these kids.And she says that they are such a lively bunch and have a very good sense of humor and made her laugh all the while.

Saturday evening was a first in many aspects for both M and I and we were definitely not complaining at the end of it all..

We won we won we won!!!!!

2007-09-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

What a match!What a match!What a match!What a match!What a match!What a match!What a match!

Absolutely exhilarating and befitting a world cup final!Been so very long since I enjoyed a game that was this closely fought where both teams produced excellent cricket.

Way to go,Dhoni and his team of young guns who played spectacular cricket and deserved to be winners!!!

Choked..again

2007-09-21T11:13:00.001-05:00

I watched the India-England and India-South Africa matches in the Twenty20 world cup.And I must say that I am slightly confused with the whole format and the way the game itself is treated by the players.It took me two matches to feel anywhere close to comfortable with the sport.I was intrigued by how the Indian team would perform considering that the three big guns wouldn't be firing away.And I was quite pleasantly surprised to see that this young and raw team isn't doing all that badly!

But I guess the worst moment of the tournament was the departure of South Africa.SA is one team I have always liked apart from New Zealand.And, as bizzare as the this whole concept of Twenty20 cricket maybe,I still felt sad to see SA crumble in the manner that they did.Before the game,it was almost a given that SA will enter the semis one way or another.They had remained unbeaten in the tournament.But to see them in a position where they were unable to score even the measly 126 that would have seen them through to the next round, was really disheartening.I wonder why this team is jinxed in this manner and why it is destined to choke on D-day, almost every time.Just why do they do this to themselves?At one stage in the match yesterday,I couldn't help wondering if SA even knew what they needed to score to qualify for the semis.And like as if someone was reading my mind,the permutations were flashed on the score board for everyone to see!I felt just as bad for them as I had during that World Cup match when Shaun Pollock miscalculated the numbers and SA lost.

Much has already been said and written about South Africa's "choking" so I shall refrain from contributing.Just that ,they so richly deserved to play in that semi-final on Saturday...

I say Goodbye....you say Hello...

2007-09-19T21:32:00.000-05:00

The other day,M and I were in the middle of discussing random stuff when out of the blue,he says to me,"Hey,you know what,when we have kids,I would want them to eat meat."And needless to mention,that kinda triggered off a whole new debate altogether.So it got me thinking about how M and I have extremely contradictory points of view when it comes to certain issues.For instance,he is an atheist and I am not.I am a vegetarian and he is not.So you get my drift here,right?Now none of these issues have had any ill effects whatsoever on our relationship.We have accepted each other for who we are and have never attempted to impose one's belief on the other which has worked out beautifully well(touche`) for us.So the million-dollar question is,what happens when we have kids?

First of all,there is the whole Tamil-Kannada angle.Lets say our offspring is a genius and manages to master both languages and as a result has both sets of grandparents thrilled to bits.One hurdle cleared.Next comes food habits.I argued that we should let the offspring decide for himself/herself.To which M countered that such a decision can be made only if the offspring is exposed to all categories of food in the first place.Well,makes sense I guess.Which brings us to our next question;when would be the appropriate age for the said exposure to take place?How do we manage not to influence the offspring with our individual preferences considering the fact that both M and I are very strong-willed people?And then of course comes the religion angle.Both of us are not overtly religious.In fact I don't think M even cares!I care to the extent that I want our offspring to understand my interpretation of that unseen force and strong faith that for me is god.It will then be upto him/her to believe or not.I would like our offspring to be exposed to festivals and the celebrations that they entail only so that he/she gets a well rounded exposure to what being a family is all about.It has nothing to do with the whole religious aspect though.I just want him/her to have as much fun as I did when I was younger on such occasions,with my family.Well,for that matter I even want him/her to climb tress and play with discarded rubber tires like I did.But I digress.

Its not like we plan to produce the aforementioned offspring anywhere in the near future.And yet,that one offhand remark got me thinking....

Of celebrations and such..

2007-09-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

Born in a Hindu Brahmin family and married into another one,I constantly keep getting reminders from back home about some approaching festival or the other.

But you know what,I do really like the idea of celebrating a festival.At least in the way that I remember it from my Bangalore days.I don't much care about all the religious hocus-pocus. Celebrating a festival for me means:

*Waking up early in the morning
*Wearing new clothes
*The house looking neat and tidy and shiny
*Mom making the most scrumptious of meals
*The elaborate lunch with the entire family
*The house smelling amazingly good,thanks to all the incense sticks and flowers
*Dad giving me money after the puja
*People coming over
*Us visiting people
*The amazing sight of the array of lamps being lit up
*Listening to Carnatic music

I try and do as much as I can towards celebrating festivals.I believe in god but I do not believe in rituals and elaborate worshiping.I say my little prayer and do my little puja in the only way that I know,all of which probably taking no more than 6 minutes.I try and cook a decently traditional meal,with M's help.I should mention here that M is an atheist.And I completely respect his choices as he does,mine.So a festival for us is more of an occasion to be thankful for what we have and get together and celebrate life by eating good food and having a good conversation.

And that is exactly what we plan to do tomorrow!

Strength

2007-09-10T15:41:00.000-05:00

My mother and I have always been best of friends.I told her all about my crushes and teenage problems and gave her a list of all the boys who were "interested" in me.She would actually listen in all earnestness to everything that I had to say,never once dismissing any of it away as frivolous.She was the strong and sensible one in the family.

So it was like my whole world came crashing down when exactly two years ago,I got the call from my physician-aunt, confirming that the tumor in my mother's breast was indeed cancerous.On the bright side,the cancer was still in the initial stages.So the doctor chalked out a treatment plan consisting of 3 rounds of chemo followed by a lumpectomy followed by 60 days of radiation followed by another 3 rounds of chemo.I had just started the fall term at school but both M and I felt that my mother needed me by her side.So I withdrew from school and jumped onto the next flight to Bangalore.She had just had her first ever cycle of chemo like two days before I landed.When I reached home and saw her lying on the bed in that condition,my heart broke into a thousand pieces.She looked so pale and weak and worn out.Yet when she saw my face,she smiled so brightly that all I could manage to do without breaking down was sit by her side and stroke her hair as gently as I could.Then began an experience that I can never ever forget in this lifetime.

My presence seemed to have injected tremendous hope and strength in her.She was determined to beat the cancer.The first few days after I landed passed by without much ado.In all the excitement of my arrival,she seemed to have forgotten about the side affects of the chemo.But after a week or so,the much dreaded hair loss started to happen.Chunks of hair just fell off every time she ran a brush through it.In just 4 days,she went from having a thick and long mop of salt and pepper-ed hair to completely bald.That was one of the most painful moments of my life.I felt so helpless;there was nothing I could do to make her feel better.On one hand,the chemo was doing a number on her in terms of nausea and headaches and on the other,she was losing hair like nobody's business.That was the first time I ever saw her break down and how.She just wouldn't look at herself in the mirror.But my father and I had to be strong for her.We could not afford to show her how scared we were and how upset we felt on seeing her suffer.

So I bought these really expensive silk scarfs for her to cover her hairlessness.I would make sure that she dressed just as normally as she did before all this happened.She was on a very strict diet;no oil,no spice,no raw vegetables,no fruits and the list just went on.So we also stuck to the same diet as her just so that she did not feel weird or left out.We made sure that we never cried or appeared depressed in front of her.The days following her chemo sessions were the worst.It was gut wrenching to see what the chemical did to her system.And then came the surgery.The surgery itself was a huge success and they were able to get all of the cancerous tissue out.But the days that followed were a real challenge to her and us.You know they have this strange rule.Post surgery,they will show the tumor that was removed from the patient to a member of the patient's family and get papers signed to this effect.And of course I had the misfortune of having to go through this bizzare procedure.

All of us including my mother felt a little upbeat as the surgery had gone off quite well.Just that the poor thing had tubes sticking out of her at the site of surgery to collect fluids which was painful and irritating as hell.It was then that I realized that the roles had been reversed;I was the parent and she was the child.I used to bathe her every day and help her get dressed.I used to cook her special meals.I used to sit by her side and talk to her till she dozed off.I used to give her all her medication.I used to accompany her to the hospital for her routine check-ups.I used to hold her in my arms when she was writing in pain and barfing away after the chemo.And you know what,I hated it.This was alien territory to me.I couldn't accept that my mother had become this weak and scared and dependent on me.I couldn't accept that while she suffered and endured,all I could do was watch in helplessness.I remember crying my heart out to M everyday when he called and telling him that if I had the power I would take her disease and gladly suffer through it rather than watch her go through the torture and not be in a position to do anything at all.

Ultimately,all is well that ends well.She managed to get rid of the cancer and is all better today.But the experience changed all of us forever.It was like I grew up overnight.I never had to shoulder this much responsibility ever but I somehow managed to do so.We as a family fought together.We stuck together and never gave up.M was a huge huge support and my fall guy basically.I could not have managed if it were not for him.My father was so strong and poised and was always there for my mother.Even after I left,he managed to take real good care of her, singlehandedly.I still remember that proud and tender look on his face when he saw my mother in a saree for the first time after about 3 months into her treatment!We used to go to the hospital for her chemo and sit on the chairs outside the doctor's office, waiting for him to take a look at mom.And the three of us would crack jokes and laugh until we had tears in our eyes just so that my mother would not get affected by all the suffering around us.And all the others waiting there would stare at us like we had lost it!

I still do not comprehend why she of all people had to go through all that she did.Apparently there is no answer to such questions.Whatever.I am just glad she is healthy and happy today and just pray and hope that she stays this way forever.And I am so proud of her for displaying tremendous courage under adversity.She went all by herself to the radiation center for her 60-day radiation therapy.And she would have animated discussions with the technicians about the process and the machinery as her thesis in college was on Nuclear Physics.Not only did the entire staff know her by name,they weretotally fascinated by her and she was of course their most favorite patient!And I am so proud of my father for being the most ideal companion one could ever ask for.

The funny thing is when certain people got to know about her condition,their very first reaction was,"Oh,so this means that I am at risk too.And what about my precious daughters?They could be at risk too." And their warped emotions manifested in such a way, that my mother,despite being a Physics major,was almost convinced at one point of time that breast cancer could be contagious!

Of this and that...

2007-09-07T11:36:00.000-05:00

With last Monday being a holiday,M and I took off on a trip to Lake Tahoe,Napa and Reno.It was a reunion of sorts with our high school buddies.Yes people,M and I were classmates in high school.Now don't let your imagination run wild because contrary to popular belief, we DID NOT fall in love back then.Hmmm that warrants for a separate post all together.So yes, the reunion.We met up with Nik,Ash,Gana and his lovely wife HR and it was a laugh riot all the way.The fact that we were all meeting up after almost a decade did not dampen our spirits in any way.We ate and drank and laughed and made merry.And yes,we managed to squeeze in some sight seeing as well!All in all,it was a wonderful trip and all of us enjoyed ourselves to the hilt!It was very heartening to see that after all these years, we still shared the same kind of warmth and affection and camaraderie towards each other.And HR blended into the gang quite well so that was a plus.On our way back to the airport we stopped at my cousin's place for a while.We got to see her darling little daughter who is cute as a button!And the dinner was just scrumptious!I seriously had no clue that my cousin cooked that well!

And I promptly fell sick as soon as we got back home.I have been feeling quite under the weather since Tuesday what with a severe cold and body ache and a slight fever.Now when my condition is such,I always crave for a piping hot cup of chai;the kind that you get in the desi resturants;strong chai with some milk and elaichi.And I must have looked really out of sorts on Tue and Wed because on both days,I was offered free chai by the people at the desi resturants that I went to.

I am dreading the weekend in a way.Our house looks like its been run through by a tornado.So the very thought of having to clean up the mess and restore some semblance of sanity is kinda putting me off.But ones got to do what ones got to do.I got to convince M that its all his responsibility.Thats all.

Its either the conventional way or the highway

2007-09-05T13:44:00.001-05:00

Not too long ago,M and I were invited to dinner by this married couple with a 3-year old child.The conversation throughout the evening consisted of different flavors of the same two topics : buying a new home and having children.One one hand,the husband could not stop complaining about how one's life comes to an end after one becomes a parent and about how difficult it is to manage to have any fun at all with the child in tow.On the other hand,the wife was making weird,indirect remarks about how M and I should follow their lead and consider having children of our own soon.

Now I do know several couples who have kids and who are very dear to me and I immensely enjoy spending time with them and their children.And this post is not directed towards any of you and you all know who I am talking about here.

This post however, is the result of observing and interacting with some exceptions like the aforementioned couple who behave in the most incorrigible manner possible.They are the ones who will not miss an opportunity to advice their single friends about the virtues of marriage and their married-friends-who-are-yet-to-have-kids about the imperativeness of parenthood.And they will do this in the same vein as complaining about their respective spouses or how the process of raising their child takes away all their time and energy.In the end it almost seems like they are so envious of our lifestyle that they can't wait for us to have kids and then participate in the rant-marathon alongside them.Juxtaposition,anyone?!!Or maybe hypocrisy.Or maybe its just the way they are.Yes thats what it is.Its just the kind of people they are.

First of all,the decision to get married or have a kid is entirely upto the individual/couple as the case may be.In the latter case,its upto to the couple to decide whether or not they want a child in the first place and when they want to bring that child into this world.To each his own.There is no right or wrong.So I don't understand how one assumes that one has the right to butt in and expend unwarranted advice regarding these decisions just because one is on the other side of the fence.Almost as if after the baby is born,these people will actually go ahead and assume responsibility of the new-born and change his/her diapers and stay up with him/her all night.We did not go about court-martialing them when they decided to expand their families now did we?So why not reciprocate with mutual respect and mind their own beeswax?If they are so envious of a life style that is unlike theirs,all I can say is suck it up.Accept the fact that they are responsible for their current situation and make peace with themselves instead of trying to stick their noses into somebody else's life!So what it all comes down to finally is how conventional one is in terms of what is generally the acceptable age to get married or the acceptable age to have kids.The moment one decides to screw convention, one is subjected to the third degree!

I love my life as it is,so sue me!

The Single Child Syndrome

2007-08-30T13:53:00.001-05:00

I have never really liked being the only child. As a kid, I used to terribly miss the company of a sibling and had my heart set on an elder brother for some reason. My mother would try her best to explain how this was biologically non-viable but to no avail. After a while, when I was old enough to realize that my parents had no plans of expanding our family, I resigned myself to the depressing fact that I will be the unhappy,solitary child forever.My mother fearing that I would fall prey to the much-dreaded single child syndrome made it a point to inculcate the virtues of sharing in me and was in fact a bit too successful. As a result, I have very generously donated away my expensive, foreign toys and rare set of play things made out of clay by artisans in some remote place in Tamil Nadu.The sole exception was my collection of golis (marbles) which I refused to part with.I started with 5 of them and went on to amass as many as 200 marbles which I won fair and square in the goli matches from boys of all ages and sizes.But I digress.So the only hitch was when it came to sharing people, especially those close to me. If some kid as much as held my parents’ hand, I would get jealous! My friends were not allowed to be friends with any other kid. They were my friends. Period.And this trait just stayed on.

I have always found it painfully difficult to compete for someone's affection.Simply because I am just not used to it.So when my best friend Mads,decided to become girlfriend-boyfriend with B who happened to a friend of ours,I just refused to accept the change in scenario.I hated B for taking Mads away from us.Mads had to now divide her time and attention between us and him which was just so unfair.How dare he!I am just lucky I have great friends because had it been anyone else,they would have promptly disowned me or worse,completely misunderstood my feelings and intentions.But for some bizzare reason,Mads and B were both very understanding and Mads would actually go out of her way to make sure that I wasn't feeling too left out!

I go through similar emotions with my in-laws.I feel I am constantly competing against my BIL's wife A , for my MIL's affection.And it is just so damn exhausting.For instance,everyone acknowledges openly that I am a better cook than A.Inspite of that, every single time we talk to my in-laws over the phone,I make it a point to instruct M that he has to rave about something that I cooked during that week.And I feel very let down if he doesn't. Well,you get the picture here,don't you.It is not like I am trying to prove that I am better.All I want is for my MIL to love me more.And this is the only way I know to compete for someone's affection;by proving that I am better than my competitor.See how I contradict myself here?!And the fact that both A and my MIL are very warm and affectionate and sensible just makes it all the more frustrating.As juvenile as it may all sound,it is something that I have to live with.And when I am in such situations,nothing about what I feel at that moment is juvenile.It is a constant tug-of-war of emotions and believe me when I say that it is very very hard to not let it get the better of me.

I blame it all on my parents.Sigh.If only I had an elder brother.....

Its feeling-all-gurlie'n-pretty good!

2007-08-27T11:09:00.000-05:00

I decided to splurge on myself this weekend and booked an evening slot at the ULTA salon.The prices are steep but the service at the salon is just awesome and the end-result is worth every damn penny!Mind you,the salon itself does not look all glamorous and spa-like.In terms of appearance and visual appeal,it lies in between a decent spa and a regular Super Cuts.So I was a little skeptical about what to expect especially since I was just about to burn a huge hole in my pocket.I was looking forward to get my hair cut by a gay male stylist with an exotic South American or French lineage and an unpronounceable name and incomprehensible accent.The lady at the front desk said that my stylist for the evening was "Naaa-chhh-chh-mae".It turns out that the stylist assigned to me was in fact this elderly Pakistani lady called Najma.So much for all the anticipation!I was so disappointed that my fantasy was shattered this badly that I forgot to greet the lady even.

Now as a rule,I usually refrain from conversing in Hindi with fellow-countrymen-strangers because some of them mistake this friendly gesture as an invitation to discuss all aspects my personal life.If it is a lady and she is older,the conversation invariably goes something like this :

[1] Older desi lady : Are you married?
Me : Yes

[2] Older desi lady : Do you have kids?
Me : No.Not yet.

[3] Older desi lady : *Loud Gasp* And pray,why not?
Me *smiling politely and shrugging shoulders and thinking* : None of your damn business,lady.

So I was somewhat pleasantly surprised when Najma turned out to be the non-conversational kind.After about 20 minutes into my appointment,we started conversing generally and discussed hair maintenance and conditioning.And then she abruptly announced that she was from Pakistan and asked me about my origins.I explained.In my head I go "Uh-ooooh,there we go." Then, in true desi style, followed the much dreaded questions.She asked me questions [1] and [2] and I answered them as mentioned above.And then she said , "Oh,whats the hurry anyway?Enjoy yourselves thoroughly before the inevitable responsibility falls on your shoulder." I couldn't believe my ears! The jinx was finally broken! I gradually warmed up to her and found myself talking to her in Hindi! We went on to discuss a variety of subjects ranging from real estate in the city to recipes to weather in our respective countries and I actually quite enjoyed our conversation! She even rattled away the recipe of her famous gosht biryani while she deep conditioned my hair.Just that she kept saying gosht over and over and over again that I finally had to admit to her that I was vegetarian and that I would probably stick to vegetables for my version of the biryani. She of course was shocked and tried to convey to me as politely as possible that biryani without meat was akin to sacrilege of the highest degree. She was relieved to an extent only after I revealed that M was as carnivorous as one could possibly be and he would certainly enjoy her gosht version of the dish.But the highlight of the evening was most definitely the super haircut that she gave me...just the perfect length and the perfect number of layers!She even recommended some hair-care products and made sure that I got a 10% off coupon at the front desk.Nice lady!

So here I am with a brand new hair cut and with my hair feeling all soft and shiny and silky.I feel all girlie and pampered and pretty.So what if it cost me a fortune?I am so worth it!*Grin*

Tag-me-along!

2007-08-24T11:09:00.000-05:00

I was itching to blog but there were just so many ideas running amok in my head that I decided to sleep on it. It was way too much trouble to make a decision on what the topic of the day should be. And then comes along just passing by with this tag, thus making my job that much easier! So here goes nothing.

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it.
I have several prize-winning scars mainly due to the tom-boyish lifestyle that I had so proudly adopted back when I was a kid. If I had to pick one, it would have to be the 2-inch gash on my right leg.

So I was playing cricket with the gang on the street when I accidentally stepped on a rusty metal strip that’s used to pack wooden boxes. I took another step and the next thing I know, I have a metal strip stuck in my right ankle and there is blood all over the place! The brave kid that I was, I walked all by myself in that condition to the doctor’s house. (She was my mother’s friend and lived close by.)And not once did I flinch anytime during the stitches or the tet-vac injection that followed. And the scar lives on to tell the tale of my spunk!

2. What is on the walls in your room?
Right now, there is a beautiful wall hanging of Ganapathi. Earlier we had 2 huge posters of McLaren,the hubby’s logic being : That is what you worship and this is what I worship. Go figure.

3. What does your phone look like?
I have a Motorola Razr V3.It is silver in color with black display.You get the picture don’t you? No? Then go here.

4. What music do you listen to?
Everything goes. Western classical (Bach) to Carnatic music(U Srinivas’s mandolin) to Bollywood hungama to Barry Manilow.

5. What is your current desktop picture?
Blue sky with white clouds and a lush green lawn.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?
For things that are in not in my control but which tend to affect me nevertheless, to sort themselves out.

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?
Yes. What is not to believe?

8. Are your parents still together?
Very much so.

9. What are you listening to?
Sound of the printer and that of my colleague typing away at her desk.

10. Do you get scared of the dark?
Ooooh yes.

11. The last person to make you cry?
My aunt.

12. What kind of hair/eye type do you like on the opposite sex?
I don’t much care about the type of hair/eye as much as I care about whether it is clean or not. Hair should be washed and should smell good and should be well maintained, as far as I am concerned.

13. Do you like pain killers?
Like is a wee bit extreme here,aint it?If I am in pain and I cannot bear it then yes,I would like to take a pain killer,thank you very much.

14. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
I never had to so I guess I will never know!

15. Favourite pizza topping?
Paneer, green pepper, onion, cheese and fennel seeds.

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
Piping hot phulkas with chayote (seeme badnekaayi ) palya, cucumber salad and curd rice with mango pickle and the palya. *GRIN*

And now, in true blogger-style,I hereby tag Maddy,Mri and Divya and request them to do the needful.

And anyone else interested in taking up this tag is most welcome to do so :-)

Of birthdays and celebrations

2007-08-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

I love celebrating birthdays, especially mine. The funny thing is when I was a kid, my birthday was just another day of the year for everyone including myself and not much importance was given to it. The first time I ever cut a cake on my birthday was when I was 16 years old! When I turned 16, for reasons only best known to my progenitors, suddenly my birthday celebrations assumed epic proportions and was treated like a festival of sorts. My mother would prepare this elaborate meal that consisted of at least 5 courses and 2 desserts and only my closest of friends and my maternal grandparents and aunts (all of whom lived close by) were invited. The not-so-close friends who dropped by all day long were served snacks and juice. And then came the presents. Anyone who came home would get me a present and a card, simply because it was the cardinal rule and had to be followed in order to gain entry into my humble abode. See, I wasn’t greedy or evil for that matter. But for someone who never really had traditional birthdays as a kid, this was my chance to make up for all the lost years. I absolutely loved to be the center of so much attention and would go around announcing that it was my birthday to anyone who cared to listen.

So with this being the state of affairs, imagine my bewildered state of mind when I realized that M does not believe in grandiose when it comes his birthday celebration. Well, its not that he does not enjoy being pampered on his birthday or any other day; just that he does not expect it or demand it and will not be disappointed in case it doesn’t happen. Unlike me; I do not think this kind of behavior is normal and will not endorse it or resort to it. Ever. So the man refuses to wear new clothes on his birthday because apparently he hates it when people go, “Hey, happy birthday. And look, new clothes!” He refuses to tell me what he wants for his birthday present. Now it is not like he does not believe in receiving presents; just that he wants to surprised. Of course he will be surprised because the only kind of presents he likes has to be electronic and must beep and light up. In fact, the first gift I ever gave him was a remote-controlled car and I secretly feel that it was then ,that his belief that he had made the right choice, was infact reinforced. Now, do you have any idea how extremely exhausting it is to think of such contraptions for every gift-giving occasion?

So during one of our random conversations, when he mentioned offhandedly about how he would just love to get hold of some books written by Mark Tully, I immediately knew what had to be done. I browsed through a couple of bookstores but none of them had a copy of No Full Stops in India. And I couldn’t even buy it online since he would be around when it would be delivered and that would spoil the surprise. So I placed a request at a local Barnes and Nobles and pestered them until they had a copy of the book for me. I was sooo excited about having bought the perfect gift for him that I blurted it out to him, 3 days before his birthday.Errrrr so much for not wanting to ruin the surprise!And the next day we went over to M’s brother’s house and the first thing that my BIL did was to thrust this gift bag in M’s hands. M thanked him and kept the bag aside and continued with the conversation. After 3 minutes, my BIL couldn't take it anymore and yells excitedly, ”Open the bag right now and see what we got for you.” So M does as he is told only to discover a Micro Flyers wireless indoor helicopter inside the bag. M grins happily. And my BIL is chattering away about how he thought of the gift and went about buying it and couldn’t wait to give it to M.

Its M’s birthday today. He plans to wear the new outfits that I got him for his birthday on Friday. He will not be getting any gifts today as his wife and brother turned out to be over-excited-blabber-mouths. (See what the pressure of getting the perfect gift can do to people?) I made kaju burfi for him last night in an attempt to make up for being an over-excited-blabber-mouth. And also because he absolutely loves kaju burfi.

Our conversation from Sunday night after I just got home from the Sathya Narayana Puje at my aunt’s place:

I : I got Bisi Bele Bath for you. My aunt made it. It tastes really really good.

After inspecting the aforementioned BBB,

M : It doesn’t look like the BBB you make. I don’t think it will taste just as good. So no, I don’t want to eat it.

:-)

Happy Birthday, M!

Wanting what you don't have and having what you don't want..

2007-08-17T10:31:00.000-05:00

The weather outside is just perfect. A slight drizzle, temperature in the 80s and the sun nowhere to be seen. Perfect for taking the day off and staying in, snuggling with M on the couch, eating hot bajjis, drinking a big mug of piping-hot-elaichi-ginger tea and watching a nice desi movie. If only …*Sigh*

Last year, the same time around, I was still a grad student on a dependent visa which meant that I could not be legally employed. I remember how I used to hate spending time at home and couldn’t wait to get a job and start working all over again! And now the very thought of being able to stay home and laze around excites me no end! I couldn’t wait for us to buy another car so that I could gallivant all around town and go on those impromptu shopping sprees all by myself. And now the very thought of any driving other than that short, inconspicuous 10-minute drive to work, kinda puts me off! I couldn’t wait to start my new job as I could get to have my own space without any intrusions or having someone breathing down my neck all the time, like the case was in my previous workplace. And now I find my current work place boring because everyone keeps to themselves and the interaction between all of us is limited to our weekly meetings or when we bump into each other at the water cooler area or in the wash room.And hence...the title!

Actually the title of the post best describes my wardrobe situation.I never seem to have the right clothes to take on a trip or the right clothes to wear on a particular occasion.I never seem to have the right clothes or enough clothes for that matter.Period.M learnt very quickly that the best way to tackle the clothes-situation was to ignore it.But my mother somehow would get very flustered when I would complain about my non-existent problem.She could not fathom how her offspring turned out to be like this.So every time I would complain about how I had no clothes to wear,she would say "Thathasthu" and secretly hoped that someday I would find myself in exactly that situation.What love!

Something that I have never been able to justify though is how I have all these outfits in my closet which I chose and bought myself but went on to hate their very existence for some inexplicable reason,and that too after wearing them just the one time.

Of people and their names

2007-08-16T15:39:00.000-05:00

---I know atleast 5 females named Arathi(and all the mutations/variations of the spelling of the name*phew*) and atleast 5 people of the male persuasion named Shreyas.

All the Arathi-s I know :

*are eccentric;some in a good way and some in a not-so-good way

*have short,straight,black hair

*are intelligent

*are fickle-minded

*do not make very good friends

*make great acquaintances

All the Shreyas-es I know :

*are cool dudes

*are fun to be around

*are super-talented in some form of art

*are good-looking

*have a great sense of humor

---I love the name Rhea and it happens to be quite a common name.Yet,I do not "know know" anyone named Rhea.

---In all this time that I have lived in this country,I am yet to meet a "John Smith" or a "John" or a "Smith".So much for commonality!

--I know tons and tons of Priya-s and none of them have anything in common except their names.

:-)

Fond memories

2007-08-14T20:07:00.000-05:00

I have the fondest of memories of Independence Day celebrations back in high school.

Every single year our school would organize this cultural program that consisted of some dance performances and a couple of skits interspersed with some patriotic songs belted out by the school's prayer group.And no points for guessing who was an integral part of almost all the performances on the list.Yes people,apparently I was super-talented as a kid!But as I grew older,the talent went into hiding somewhere,never to be seen again.Sigh!So yes,the cultural program.It just so happened that due to some strange coincidence,the teacher in charge of the dance that I was a part of would invariably want us to buy an elaborate(read expensive) costume and jewelery to go with it.And my mother would invariably go ballistic when she found out what the dress cost, at the store.The first year emotional blackmail worked and the year after, a temper tantrum did the trick and she caved in.But after that,she wisened up and just wouldn't budge no matter what I did or said.Luckily,it was the same case with several of my friends and so we ended up doing what any self-respecting teenager would loathe to do.Borrow!

The best part of it all was that we would be called for practice during class hours!So we got to miss class officially and we would run past the infuriated Physics teacher going "yaaaaaaay dance practice",much to the chagrin of those who were not participating in the dance and had to stay back in class!The practice sessions were so much fun especially if it was a boy-girl dance.Most of the boys were awkward dancers and they had not,an inkling of grace.So it was fun just watching them attempting to dance because we knew that with the exception of a handful of them, the rest of the lot were just trying to impress us!D-day itself was an affair to remember.....all the performers in their colorful costumes ,the younger kids running around , laughing and screaming,the teachers dressed in the tricolor,the parents with their cameras flashing away!We then sang and danced and pranced around and performed to glory.And all the fun and games came to a befitting end when the prayer group sang the National Anthem and our National Flag was hoisted and everyone present stood there in attention and solidarity and with pride.

I am glad that this celebration and fun is what I associate with Independence Day.I am glad that my patriotism and love for my country are perennial and I do not associate or limit these sentiments with or to a particular date.I am glad that I do not have to resort to gimmicks to express my sentiments.

Happy Independence Day and a very happy anniversary to my ajji and thatha!

Weekend update

2007-08-12T21:07:00.000-05:00

To compensate for the rough week that I had at work or something...the weekend was really nice!

We did the usual Masala dosa + buttermilk + tea brunch routine at Taj on Saturday and not to mention,the dosa was heavenly!And I had to host another show at the radio station but it wasn't half as bad as my regular show.Oh,I guess I haven't mentioned earlier that I dabble with some RJing at a local start-up desi radio station :)

Well,it all started when I got to know that this particular radio station was looking for people to do voice-overs for commercials and that their studio happened to be just down the same street as our apartment complex!So I went there and recorded 3 commercials and just got hooked!So when they called me after a couple of days asking if I would be interested in doing an infomercial,I said yes!The infomercial is sponsored by this guy HP, who owns a mortgage company.So its his show basically and I just play second fiddle.He talks a lot,I talk a bit,I play some songs and we take calls from listeners and he ends up doing the talking all over again! But it is a lot of fun and I get to "run the board" as they call it which means I get to operate that cool looking mixer in the studio.Yes people,it is a live show and no,I do not get paid just in case you were wondering because like I mentioned earlier,they are a "start-up"?! Nice excuse!

So yesterday HP called me exactly 40 minutes before we were scheduled to go on air and announced that he would not be able to make it and I was supposed to handle the entire one-hour show by myself! Whaaat!?He mentioned 3-4 points which he wanted me to elaborate on and wished me luck.Considering that yesterday was my third time on air and that I have no fricking clue about mortgages and commercial loans ,I definitely needed all the luck I could get!So I did whatever research I could possibly do in 20 minutes and then somehow managed to do the show without throwing up even once.It wasn't my best work but I did manage to keep it together until the end of the hour so that was an accomplishment alright!And then I was informed that I would be doing another 30 minute talk show with some doctor guy about herbal remedies for common ailments.Yeah right,like that was totally up my alley!!But the good thing was that this guy came to the studio with a nice print-out that had all the details I needed including the questions I was supposed to ask him!So hosting that show was like a cake-walk because all I had to do was read out from the script!!

And I watched two gems of movies,both Tamil : Chennai-28 and Mozhi. Chennai-28 was fun all the way and lived up to all the hype that surrounded it.And it was based on cricket so I just had to like it!And Mozhi....what a wonderful movie;it was Jyothika at her best ever.It is such a pity that she decided to quit acting because her performance in Mozhi is absolutely fantastic.Go watch it,people.

I enjoy watching Tamil movies,especially the ones directed by Mani Rathnam and the ones that feature the Super-Star and this,I only have my mother to thank for.Though both my parents are Kannadigas,my maternal grandfather moved to Chennai when my mother was a 7-month old baby.So she was raised in Chennai and moved to Bangalore only after she married my father.All her siblings were born and brought up in Chennai so that was where I would spend my summer vacation every single year for almost 8 years.Yes,you read it right....summer vacation in Madras ! And thats when I picked up Tamil and was initiated into the world of the Super-Star.My mother and I have this thing...of watching these few movies like Mouna Raagam,Dhalapathi,Padiappa,Agni Nakshatiram....over and over and over again!We must have watched each of these movies over 20 times together but even today if any one of them is playing on TV,we will watch it and enjoy it just as much as we did the first time!That is one of our things :)

Oh,M and I made paaysa and puliyogre and voggarne mosranna for lunch and chilly paneer for an evening snack,today!Yes people,I did have a wonderful weekend!

A tradition...of cricket!

2007-08-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

Cricket has been the one sport that everyone in the family follows religiously.Including the women-folk...well,especially the women-folk!

My maternal grandmother is a huge cricket buff.And her favorite cricketer of all times is...hold your horses...none other than Imran Khan!Every time there was an India-Pakistan match on,the tension in my grandparent's house was apparent to everyone who cared to notice.Here we all were,egging India on and hoping that they would scamper home with a victory,some of us praying,some of us getting super-superstitious(we once banished my mother into the kitchen for one whole hour because the moment she entered the kitchen,one of the Pak batsmen got out!) and some of us screaming our throats hoarse,some of us(especially my thatha) narrating cricket-stories from his days and some of us just soaking it all in!And then there was my ajji...she stood for everything that went against what the rest of the family believed in,in terms of cricket!She loudly and unabashedly cheered the Pak team on and would literally swoon every single time Imran Khan came onto bowl.She was in love with the man and still is!My thatha would glare at her every time she said something nice about our opponents,especially when his brothers were over!She made all of us look really bad I tell you!

The atmosphere in my parent's house was equally charged up.My mother and I were very vociferous in expressing our feelings and would love to crank up the volume to listen to the commentary.My father on the other hand,preferred to watch the match for the love of the game and with dignity and in peace and quiet.Every now and then,he would say "Appi,volume solpa kammi maadu"(yes,thats what he calls me.Get over it,already.).Mother and I would exchange glances and I would pretend to reduce the volume.Or I would just say "Hoon anna,hoon" and continue to watch the match.Or sometimes I would pretend I didn't even hear him in the first place!The players would break for lunch and so would we.In that 45 minutes,we simply had to and I mean had to be done with our lunch and whatever other chore that was there.(including restroom visits).

But the most fun I have had is whenever I watched cricket matches with my cousin ,Soms.She and I were born exactly 6 days apart and we are quite close and possess the same mad streak.And I kid you not when I say that every single time we watched an India match together,India always won.We watched that particular test match at her parent's place when Kumble picked up all 10 wickets in an innings and took India to victory.We watched that one-day match together at my parent's house when India successfully chased a target of 316 against Pakistan in Dhaka.

This particular day,what happened was,all of a sudden in the 45th over of India's innings,our cable went kaput.So Soms and I ran out of the house and ran all the way to my friend S's place which was in the adjacent street and stormed into their living room and plopped ourselves on the couch.We saw the TV screen and Soms says to me,"Sadhya,yerde-yerdu(2) balls miss maadkondvi"(thank god,we missed just two balls).The last two balls of the over were bowled and it was time for a commercial break.Only then did we realize that we were in S's house,in their living room,amidst 8 of her relatives none of whom I had ever met and that all of them including S's parents had no fricking idea who Soms was and that they were all staring at the two of us with their mouths wide open(literally)!I realized it was time for me to explain our actions to the shocked group,but by then the commercial was over and Soms says,"shhhhhhhh....match start aythu"(match started).And everyone obediently turned their attention back to the match.

I over heard S's dad whispering to her mom "I know who ILoveLucy is,but who is this other girl with her?I have never seen her before and she is commanding silence in our house so that she can watch the match!"

And that is the extent of our cricket-craziness!!!

When we finally won that day,Soms and I yelled and screamed and did an impromptu Zulu jig all over the living room and S and some of her bewildered relatives actually joined in!S's dad still had that perplexed expression on his face as he went out to walk their dog,Pinky.

Lets play tag!

2007-08-09T07:43:00.000-05:00

My first tag ever in the blog-world. *grin*

Su and just passing by, since you gave me the idea,I would first like to tag both of you.(Yipeeeeeeeee!)

And let me add Mridula, Maddy and Pri to my tag list for good measure.I would have loved to tag Shruthi too but she has already completed this exercise a few months ago!

So people,all you need to do is list down "some of your favorite things" ever!

Oh,and here are the much-awaited pizza-pictures!(this time he added paneer and cilantro instead of black olives...god bless the man!!)

These are a few of my favourite things...

2007-08-08T16:18:00.000-05:00

Making such lists is supposed to be self-therapeutic. So here goes in no particular order:

1.Smell of fresh coffee being brewed

2.Listening to "Venkateshwara Suprabhata" first thing I wake up

3.Watching a good movie

4.Good food

5.Hugging M

6.M

7.Mother,Father and I relaxing on the bed in their room....and talking for hours on end

8.Father's tea

9.Saturday morning gossip sessions on GTalk with Mother.

10.A good workout

11.Weekends with M

12.Conference calls with Maddy and Bhava

13.Getting an email from someone I know

14.Listening to the radio

15.Comments on my blog(*GRIN*)

16.Playing and watching cricket,especially with my cousin,Soms.

17.Playing lagori with Soms and the gang

18.Reading a good book

19.Smell of rain

20.Get-togethers/functions in Bangalore

21.Food in those get-togethers/functions

22.Shopping for clothes,accessories,shoes and books

23.When things go right and function as they should,at work

24.Cooking

25.Making fresh coffee for M

26.M making tea for me

27.Latte at Starbucks

28.Eating popcorn while watching a movie

Hmmm.Thats all I think of for now...will keep updating as and when something new comes to mind.

EDIT:
I wanted to include the following yesterday itself,but for some reason I felt kinda embarrassed.(I know,I know its my blog and I can say what I want.I will keep that in mind form now on!!)Then I read Shruthi's list and apart from several other lovely things,she has these 3 points written down as well!!So that kinda gave me the confidence about it not being so bad after all! Thanks,Shru!!

29.Attention

30.Praise

31.Well-deserved compliments(not the back-handed ones)

And also,

32.Chaat(yummmmm)

33.Dogs

Nothing in particular

2007-08-08T10:02:00.000-05:00

While the frustration at work continues,I find consolation amongst my blog friends : new and old.So a big shout out all you nice people :)

M made pizza again last night and this time I managed to take pictures before the pizza disappeared into oblivion!Will put them up in my next entry.

My latest craze : Tall latte,non-fat,extra-hot,light-foam at Starbucks.I have always been addicted to the latte at Starbucks,only now I have gone "non-fat".Its either that for consolation or hitting the gym on a regular basis.Easy choice,no!(The regular latte tastes sooo much better
though *sigh*)

I absolutely loveeee shopping for clothes,accessories,shoes and books.And when I decide to go shopping to cheer myself up after a bad day,thats when I end up finding nothing I like.And this happens every single time.

Tell me something...when you are involved in a group activity,doesn't it go without saying that everyone in the group should contribute in whatever way possible?And if you volunteer to get something done,you actually go ahead and get it done?

Rant

2007-08-07T15:49:00.000-05:00

aaaaarrghhhh

Nothing seems to be going right at work at the moment.I am stuck with this stupid task.No one has an inkling as to what needs to be done.But it has to be done.

How?What?...Why me?

Bleah.

Pizza made from scratch.....

2007-08-06T11:46:00.001-05:00

.......is what we had for dinner last night.And guess who made the pizza?! No not me,you guys..it was M!

M got this sudden inspiration to make pizza from scratch and before I knew it,he had shopped for all the required ingredients and set out to make the dough on Saturday evening.And then last evening,he made the best veggie pizza I have ever tasted!The pizza sauce was his own recipe which was just so exceptionally good unlike the ready made sauces that you get in the store ,which are kinda overpowering in taste.The amount of cheese in the pizza was just perfect and so were the toppings.....green peppers,onions and black olives with a dash of garam masala,oregano and fennel seeds.Yes..fennel seeds....which gave the pizza an absolutely wonderful flavor!And the end result was this delectable pizza which was so yummy that only after I had devoured it to the very last crumb, did I realize that I hadn't taken pictures of it!!

We still have enough dough to make 4 more pizzas...YAY!!It is just such a heady feeling to be in love especially if it involves being treated to scrumptious pizzas!

Thanks, dear M :)

Justice served...?

2007-08-03T17:19:00.000-05:00

I was listening to this radio show on a local desi station and the topic of discussion was the imprisonment of Sanjay Dutt and how unfair and severe the sentencing was.Plans were being made to send a petition on behalf of all the Indians here thus expressing their displeasure and showing their solidarity to the actor.

So here we have someone who was found guilty of no less than possession of illegal arms that were used in the 1993 Bombay blasts.But for some reason which defies all logic,the aam junta wants him to be set free.What if he was not a film star but one among the aam junta itself?Would these people still have shown so much mercy and solidarity?They say its all dirty politics and that the poor sod was misled and misguided into committing the criminal act.This one gentleman from our neighboring country went to the extent of declaring on air (on the radio show that I mentioned earlier) that procuring illegal guns in our country as well as our neighboring country is no big deal and it is not a crime by any standards and that too definitely not one that entails six years in prison.He went one step further and added that when Salman Khan hasn't been punished for his acts of crime,how can our Sanjay Dutt be subjected to imprisonment? *Kharma Kharma*

The "Munna Bhai" series seem to have done wonders in boosting the image of SD.But people should stop confusing the on-screen persona for the man himself.He may be a good man and his father may have been a great man and his drug addiction may be overlooked to an extent citing that it caused harm to just him and his family and to no one else.But when his actions result in a huge disaster ,one as horrific as the 1993 bomb blasts,I am sorry sir,but it cannot go unnoticed.I am not an expert on the legal system so I cannot comment on whether his sentence was harsh or not.But all I know is that he deserved to be punished.

Now coming back to Salman Khan,I am beginning to lose count of all his misdemeanors as he seems to be getting into trouble on a regular basis.He hunts down endangered animals and then decides that he wants to go one step further and see what killing a human being feels like.So he gets drunk silly and runs his car over helpless pavement dwellers who were fast asleep for Christ's sake and ends up killing one of them.(Reminds me of the Kannada movie "Accident".A gem)The fact that he continues to pretend to act in films is yet another unpardonable crime.So yes,lets ask the obvious here.Why wasn't he punished?Why wasn't justice served?
I bet if someone convinced him that after Paris Hilton went to jail for her DUI offense,it did her nothing but good and she made lot of moolah giving interviews on TV,our pal might just be tempted to follow suit.

Oh whatever.As long as idiots like our radio show pal continue to endorse the moronic behavior of our so called "Bollywood stars",this trend will continue.

(One of best friends lost her uncle and family in those 1993 blasts.I still remember how miserable I felt when she broke down after watching the movie "Bombay".)

Happy B'day Nik!

2007-08-03T02:30:00.000-05:00

So its that time of the year once again...happy birthday my dear friend!

All my friends

2007-08-02T19:52:00.000-05:00

Blogging is addictive!And suddenly,I seem to have all this free time on hand to pursue my latest obsession and I seem to have so many things on my mind that I want to blog about.Very convenient, huh!Well,just as long as my boss is unaware of my extra-curricular activities,I am ok.

So I was thinking about Basaveshwaranagar today and Lucy apart,something else that I remember vividly is that I knew almost everyone in that locality!Mother would refuse to take me with her to the angadi beedhi(street with all the stores) because I would stop every few yards to exchange greetings with some familiar passer by.And I was all of 10 years old!I don't even know how I got acquainted with some those people as my interaction with them would be restricted to a nod,smile and "Hi".But nevertheless,I knew them and thats all mattered.

In that respect,nothing much has changed to date.I know a lot of people; some of them are buddies and many of them are acquaintances.But what intrigues me is that I have very few really really close friends.And these handful of people are the ones that I have known for the longest time now; since high school and pre-university (PU).And whats even more intriguing is that I am not even in regular touch with some of them!Yet,if you asked me to name my dearest friends,its this very bunch that would figure in my list!It somehow seems that I have become incapable of going beyond a certain point in a platonic relationship/friendship/association.And this is very strange because back in school and PU,I used to be very picky about who my friends were,very unlike how I used to be as a child.And it just so happened that I got extremely lucky and effortlessly bonded with those folks that I mentioned earlier, who turned out to be friends for life.So I never really had to make an effort to make anymore friends as I had what I wanted and was content with what I had.

I,obviously,changed over the years and became more "tolerant" of people and their attitudes.So you would think that I would make more friends along the way and that too with considerable ease,right?Wrong.I did make many acquaintances but thats about it.And this is the case even today.For some unknown reason,I have just not been able to establish a bond with anyone in particular no matter how hard I tried.I would reach a certain point with them and then something would invariably go kaput.Even as a couple,we find it increasingly difficult to socialize with another couple and actually enjoy ourselves.Either the other couple has kids and we don't as yet and hence they cannot relate to us or they want to do a potluck and stay home all evening and talk and eat and talk and then eat some more every single time we meet or one of them(sometimes both) is so unbearably obnoxious that all he/she talks about is how things in India have changed and how poor and dirty and hungry people back home are and how getting a green card is equivalent to attaining nirvana or sometimes,for absolutely no reason whatsoever!So while we do socialize quite often,we don't have as much fun as we would have liked!

So when M and I met up with this newly married couple,RT and Jag, not too long ago and ended up having a whale of time,it was a very pleasant surprise indeed.And off late we have started going out a lot with M's colleagues and their spouses/partners and its been lots and lots of fun!

Hope the trend continues because I was kinda reassured that it is not me,atleast not always!

Partner

2007-08-02T11:43:00.000-05:00

No no...this post has nothing to do with relationships and life and partners and the likes.Its just a rant about that disaster of a movie titled "Partner".

Last Sunday,I had this overwhelming urge to watch a good ol' Hindi pichchar and going by this review and the store owner's recommendation,I settled for "Partner".So not only do I endorse DVD piracy by renting this movie,I ensure that my entire Sunday afternoon was filled with agony and frustration with no one but myself to blame.M was busy doing his 750 piece puzzle so I had to undergo this latest-method-of-torture-CIA-uses-to-deal-with-maniacal-suicide-bombers,all by myself.
Why you ask?Picture this:

The cast:The movie is our own desi version of Hitch which has that idiot Salman Khan playing Will Smith's role and running amok in the name of comedy.He is paired with the even more idiotic Govinda who looks and acts like he is completely stoned.The fact that he is paired opposite Katrina Kaif just adds to the general misery.And then there is Lara Dutta posing as a brain-dead journalist.

The plot:Govinda falls in love with the super rich Kat and somehow manages to convince "Love Guru" Salman to help him get his lady love.In other words,pure torture...ashte.

Outstanding scene #1 : Lara is clicking away pictures of the notorious Chota Don(sic) at his adda which is somewhere in the outskirts of Mumbai.And then,one of his goons spot her and the whole lot scream bloody murder and run after her.And what is her exit strategy?She gets on to her bicycle and rides away to glory and lo and behold! she is now on one of the streets of Mumbai.Oh and it gets even better.Those 28 odd goons of the don are still chasing her....by foot!

Outstanding scene #2 : This annoying kid who is Salman's nephew in the movie designs a "rocket missile that gets activated by a command in that kid's voice".And at one point,it actually gets activated and goes after Salman with a vengeance!Salman,who is on a jet ski,does all kinds of stunts to escape from the torpedo.This scene lasts for atleast 20 minutes.

Outstanding scene #3 : The last 30 minutes or the so called "climax" of the movie.Please do not make me describe it,please.Watching it was bad enough and left me scarred for life.

Thats it.I cannot go on.If you want to see for yourself,be my guest,but just know that you have been warned.So proceed at your own peril.

The whole experience had me wondering as to how some body else's definition of humor and comedy and entertainment and good cinema can be so damn different from mine.Or is it just me?The movie described above is supposed to a huge hit back home.How?Why?I remember going through a similar soul searching experience when M and I were forced to watch another load-of-crap titled "No Entry" and too,in a theater after having coughed up $8.00 per ticket.Damn relatives!During the interval,this well-built Punjabi aunty is talking loudly on her cell phone inside the theater and her conversation goes something like this:
"Heeellooo,pammi bhabhi,I am calling from theater...hum log "no entry" dekh rahen hai...kya picchchar hai bhabhi..soooper dooooper hit!!!...kyacomedy hai anil kapoor ki..has has ke paagal ho gaye..you missed it,bhabhi"

Thats all.

Reality Bites...

2007-08-01T10:47:00.000-05:00

My parents were here on a short vacation and so M and I decided to get the International package on Direct TV that comprised of all the Star TV channels and then some more like Vijay TV and NDTV.So mother and I would watch all the "reality-based shows" on the the desi channels and boy-o-boy...I was convinced that Indian Television had hit a new nadir.

Take "Koffee Kwith Karan".First of all,this obsession with "K" the man and his bum chum lady friend who rules the Ksoap Kopera scene,have.And then,the man himself!I have not seen anybody as narcissistic as this guy.Or even annoying for that matter.He seems to have patented the word "Fraternity" which he uses at the drop of the hat.And do not even get me started about his "Rapid-Fire Round" which comprises of the standard 4-Qs.Something about Rani,Preity,Kaajol and then Salman,Sharukh,Aamir,Saif and then something do to with Rakhi Sawaant and finally his pet peeve,homosexuality.Lord,give me a break!This guy is all of 34 and is touted as the "Maker of stars".More like "Maker of crap(py movies)".

And then all those shows which claim to be hunting for the next singing sensation and have this panel of so-called celebrities in the music industry.See the thing is I love watching shows which have something to do with music or dance.But when I watch "Indian Idol" or "Star Voice of India",it just depresses me.Agreed,some of the participants are really good and have real talent.But what gets to me is the utterly atrocious behavior of the judges on these shows.These judges are well-known personalities and at some point in their career,have made a decent contribution to music.Yet,they act like imbeciles who are possessed by some confused spirit.Their comments reek of stupidity and bias and some more plain stupidity.I pity the poor host of the show who gets caught in the cross fire and is unable to to do anything to bring back sanity on the sets.And in the worst situation, are the poor participants who cannot fathom what they did wrong or right for that matter,to ignite such a heated and meaningless debate amongst the judges.

But the award for the most ridiculous show ever goes to the "Antakshari" show hosted by that annoying 4-foot something,Anu Kapoor and that girl,about whom the less said the better.It is supposed to be a competition for kids but most of the kids that participate act like they are freaking 35 year old morons.And then we have the parents of these kids who act worse than 5 year olds fighting over who's pencil box is prettier(thats what we used to do when we were 5 years old).And the objections these parents raise and that too on National Television!!!One parent objected to the fact that the co-host did not hug his daughter as much as she does, the other fat kid on the show!*banging head on nearest wall*

I kinda like "Coffee with Anu" on Vijay TV.She focuses less on gossip and keeps the momentum of the show going without resorting to cheap gimmicks,unlike her male/gay counterpart on the other channel.I also like the "Super Singer" series which does have an annoying host as per current trend but everything else is nice about this show.The judges are a class-act and speak only when necessary and they always keep in mind that its young children that are being judged.The participants are well-behaved and act their age.The parents are restrained and show respect for the judges and their judgment.

My all-time favorite reality show is "So You Think You Can Dance" On FOX Network.I cannot even begin to describe how good this show is in terms of quality,grace,class and presentation.Its a dance based show wherein 20 contestants are picked initially.A girl and a guy pair up and each week,they pick a dance style which could be anything from Samba to hip-hop to Viennese waltz.They are given 5 hours to learn a new routine in their chosen style which is taught to them by a renowned choreographer who specializes in that style.America chooses the bottom 3 couples and the judges then decided which girl and guy leaves the show.This show is a class apart.For starters,it has the hottest host ever who is all of 7 feet and is grace personified.The judges are well-known choreographers who are so unbiased in their rulings.And the participants just rock.You will see a B-boy waltzing away effortlessly in the most complicated routine or a contemporary dancer rocking the floor with a hip-hop routine.All in all,a class act!I like!

Remember Lucille Ball or Fauji or Buniyaad...?

I love Lucy

2007-07-31T15:00:00.000-05:00

I have always been extremely fond of dogs and have always wanted to have one as a pet.But it just so happens that neither were my parents too keen on the prospect of having a dog running loose in their house nor is M.

I was around 5 years old when my parents and I moved to this small but cozy rented house in Basaveshwaranagar.The owners of the house lived right next door and were really nice folks who happened to be quite fond of me.I vividly remember that back then,I used to love watching the "I love Lucy" show and was a huge fan of Lucille Ball.One afternoon,there was lot of commotion at our owner's house and surprisingly the entire family of 4 were home and seemed to be very excited about something.After a while,their son Balu called out to me from their living room window(which was almost adjacent to our verandah) and said that he had a surprise for me.That was enough for me to dash out and run over to their house and what I saw there brought a huge smile on my face!

That was the very first time I laid my eyes on this cutest little ball of brown fur!They had actually brought home this adorable little Alsatian puppy and Balu wanted me to name her.Now,as far as the trend in naming dogs goes,you hear of names like
"Timmy" , "Piinky", "Fluffy" or "Tommy".Even as a 5 year old child,I knew that these names were as clichéd as can be!So I named her "Lucy" after my favorite TV personality and at that very moment I fell in love with my new friend.

Lucy soon grew into this humongous creature with a thick bushy tail.I would help Balu give her a nice bath and would be so amused when Lucy would promptly go over the rose bushes in the garden, the very next instant and roll around in the mud!And this would annoy Balu every single time!I also loved to feed Lucy and see her lap up her food in no time.For us,Lucy was a member of our family and we spoke to her in Kannada and addressed her as "Hoge" "Baare".Uncle wanted her to be a typical watch-dog so they trained her to be ferocious and unfriendly to strangers.If some one would as much as even look in the direction of our houses, that was enough to set her off.She would bark and growl and gnaw her big scary teeth until the poor soul ran for cover!Lucy was very fond of coming over to our house for "breakfast" at sharp 8.30 am almost every morning!That was when I would leave for school and the rascal knew that my mother would be laying out the table for breakfast for my father!So she would come to our doorstep and her tail would go thump thump thump against the door and as soon as I opened the door,she would run (most of the times,over me) into our house and go looking for my mother and coax my mother to feed her!

We moved to BSK to our own house after a few years and it became increasingly difficult to go visit the owner-family and Lucy.And then the inevitable happened.About 8 years ago,Balu called us and informed us of Lucy's passing away.I was so heartbroken that day.She was buried in the very same rose garden in that house.I miss you friend and I will always love you.

Someday if I ever get to own a pet dog,I already know what I am going to call her...

Aaah Bach!

2007-07-30T11:57:00.000-05:00

So I was having this conversation with someone I know that went something like this:

Her:We just got back from Napa Valley.It was heaven!We did the wine tasting bit and toured the wineries and drank some more way-too-expensive wine.

Me:Errr....sounds good...The Other Half(M) and I do drink(read consume alcohol) occasionally but its just not wine.We are not "wine people".

Her: GASP....Louder GASP

And this has pretty much been the general reaction when I confess my disregard for wine.In this part of the world,you are branded pariahs/outlaws if you do not:
A]Endorse wine and declare yourself to be a "connoisseur of the spirit"
B]Display at home,at least a couple-a-bottles on those specially made wine stands
C]Know the names of the different varieties of wine and their what characterizes each of them
D]At least pretend to do [C]

So basically, it is blasphemous to express your point of view unless and until it conforms to the general mode of thinking!Pretend to like western classical music and wine and you are in!Much like Radar's predicament in one of the episodes of M*A*S*H,where hes trying to woo this very classy nurse and goes to Hawkeye for help.And Hawk in turn advises Radar to sigh loudly and just say"Aaaaaah Bach" at random, if the nurse brought up topics like classical music and poetry! Classic episode!

Its just so hard to be able to say and do whats exactly on your mind.Everything thats said or done has another dimension to it;like a juxtaposition of opposing points of view.And most of the times,I am the only one who is unable to see or fathom the rationale behind the "other" dimension.I constantly crib to M about how I am forced to do things that I am not inclined towards.So finally M lost it and said to me ,"You know what,everyone goes through this at some point, so toughen up.You either do what you want to or not.Do not claim that you will never do something ever again but then promptly end up doing it because it is expected out of you ".and mind you,it does take a lot to ruffle M's feathers and get him to make such statements and I mean,a lot!

It would probably make more sense if I explained the context.So X is in town on a short vacation and is staying with Y.And not to mention,I am expected to invite X over to our home and entertain her.I do not particularly care about whether she visits us or not but then I do have to send in weekly reports back home.So there,you get the picture now!The thing is every weekend that I invite her over,there seems to be something that comes up at the last moment and she asks us to come over to Y's house instead.So I am fed up of this invitation game and declare every weekend that this is the absolute last time that I ever invite her home.But come Friday evening and I find myself making that call yet again!

So whats with this vicious phenomenon of social obligation?And why does it become all the more vicious when you are married as opposed to when you were single?You are still related to all of them in the same way,and that does not change either ways now,does it?!So what does and why?Someone please enlighten me....

I like my margaritas better so sue me...