When things just slip away from you..

It has been a mixed bag of a new year. It started off great and then came a major glitch. Something that I can do nothing about except wait around twiddling my thumbs and hope and pray that things fall into place.

It feels surreal. These past few weeks I was the happiest I have been in a long, long time and then BAM. Just like that, my happiness vanished and was replaced by trepidation, uncertainty and misery. I don't know what to do and how to get my perspective back. My reserve of strength and resolve is diminishing. There is only so much I can take.

I don't want to go into the details right now but if you are reading this and you are the praying kind, please include me in your prayers tonight.

2012

I cannot say I am sad to see 2011 end. It was probably one of the worst years of my life filled with so much negativity. I am, however, eagerly looking forward to see how 2012 will pan out. It started off well. New year's eve was a quiet affair with M and I heading out to dinner and then watching MI 4. The movie was amazing and dinner was pleasant. We got back home and watched yet another movie called Paul (the one about the alien?) and rang in the new year with lots of laughter and hugs and kisses. It felt good being at home with M and I am glad I stuck to my decision about not going to any of the new year parties that we normally do.

The thing is New Year's eve has always been a cluster. There is always so much pressure to do something "hip" and be at some party that is "happening". We get all these tentative invitations from people but no one wants to confirm until the 30th night. And then there is even more confusion because the guest list is common and people don't know which party to attend. After much back and forth, a decision is made and the details are sent out. Now the party itself is usually nice but then we end up coming back home at an ungodly hour as a result of which we wake up at an ungodly hour the next day to realize that most of New Year's day is almost gone. And if by any chance, we decided to host our own party then it gets much worse as there are way too many permutations.

So this year we spent a lovely, quiet evening together. Slept at a decent time and woke up refreshed at a decent time and got a lot done on New Year's day. Everyone who called to wish us asked what we did for NYE and we told them how our evening went, we got a lot of "Oh, I wish we had known you guys were not doing anything. We would have insisted you come over to our party." Duh.

Someone once said, "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right and pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

This is going to be my New Year's Resolution! Happy 2012, people!