Out of my self imposed exile

Life has been like a really scary roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs that by the time I would compose my thoughts to blog about one thing, something else would have happened that would need all my attention and energy.

So what have I been upto you ask? Lets see....I was almost laid off from my job. But luckily, I managed to find another fantastic job just in the nick of time. And oh, we bought a new house! Yes people, M and I are proud owners of a warm and cozy home that we both are so much in love with! The whole process of getting to this stage was very grueling but the end result was worth every bit! So almost all my time was devoted to packing and moving and unpacking and then some. Somehow it just dosen't seem to end. There is so much to be done everyday. I will write all about our experience in a seperate post.

But amidst all this excitement, there is so much despair that it makes it almost impossible to feel any happiness. I have already written about my mother's battle with breast cancer and how she overcame it. Just when we were beginning to heave a sigh of relief and forget all about it, she found another lump in her breast and back. She is getting it checked out tomorrow and we will know more by Saturday evening. I have just gone numb from inside. I go about doing my chores mechanically as I feel almost incapable ot feeling anything. My mother is one tough cookie. But she has gone through so much and has been battle-scarred pretty badly. She deserves good health and happiness and peace of mind but instead, a very scary shadow of doubt has been cast. I am hoping and praying fervently that the lumps turn out to be benign and that it is nothing serious. I will be starting my new job from Monday so I don't see how I can take off and go to India in case the need arises. I cannot imagine how my parents will handle things by themselves. Its just breaking my heart. I cannot wait for Saturday to know more. At the same time , I don't want Saturday to come.

I love you, Amma. I am hoping and praying that it is nothing....that you will be just fine.