Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year!

2010 is finally here. I don't know what is in store for me this new year but I am hoping that it is nothing like the last one.

Last year went by like a blur. It started off with a bang with us buying a house and me starting a new job. But soon after, we found out that my mother's cancer was back and this time with a vengeance. It had metastasized to 4 other organs and her oncologist was not very hopeful of a good outcome. Long story short, she has been undergoing several different and extremely harsh treatment options and there has been moderate improvement in her condition but the toll that it has taken on her general health and state of mind is inexplicable. Each cycle of treatment came with its own set of side effects and issues and took away a part of my parents at the end of it. To their credit, my parents are a very strong and determined couple. They are doing incredibly well given their circumstances. They are hanging in there. In turn, I am hanging in there. I don't know for how much longer though. It also does not help that I live in a whole different continent. So many problems, no viable solution in sight.

Taking a leaf out of my mother's book, I cannot call 2009 a complete washout. I am thankful for a lot of things like :

* My husband. My rock. My strength. The only reason that I am still sane and functional.

* I became very close to several people that I met through my blog and I am so thankful for it. I know that if I ever need to talk, they are all just an email or IM away. And this makes me feel so immensely secure because my natural tenency is to keep things bottled up inside of me. I realized that I cannot be that way anymore. I have to reach out. I need to reach out. But I was apprenhensive to do so. What if I was turned down or ignored? Or worse, what if I was misunderstood? Well, my apprehensions were laid to rest very quickly. I can go on and on about each one of them, but if I had to associate one word or phrase with them, some examples would be :
This list is no way complete. I just want to say thank you all for being there for it means a lot to me.

* My best friends in the real world, especially this one and the one that lives in another continent and is the mother of the most adorable little boy and little girl I have ever met. You keep me sane and strong and focussed at all times and just let me be. I don't know what I would have done with you.

* My aunt who is a physician and everybody else in the family that has been there for us all through our difficult journey.

* All those lovely people like her, who sent me wonderful emails with precious information about breast cancer, who wrote about their personal experiences about battling cancer and who generally made me feel so much more positive. All this after either just chancing upon my blog or hearing about my situation from a friend of a friend. How blessed am I! Thank you all so much.

I just realized that I could go on and add a few more points to the above list which is so terrific under the circumstances! I am hoping that this new year is better than the last and brings with it happiness, good health and cheer. For me and my family and to all you wonderful folks!