I wonder all the time as to why we Indians are so age-centric.Everything that we do has to be at the right age.One has to get married at the right age,one has to have children at the right age.Even the little ones are not spared.There is constant scrutiny about whether the child started walking/talking at the right age?Was the child weened off at the right age?What is with this age fixation?
My brother-in-law is 8 years older than M and I and he got married a couple of years after we did.He was 36 then.My mother-in-law used to obsess so much about his not getting married at the right age that one had to see it to believe it!It had reached a point wherein all one had to do was mention the word marriage to push my BIL's buttons.He was utterly disgusted with the whole process and since thats all my in-laws(and their nosy relatives) would ever talk about,he just stopped calling home for months together.My BIL felt he was ready to get married when he was 36.So what?That was his bloody choice.He was a mature adult who knew what he wanted from life.There ends the matter.I could not believe how all the relatives took it upon themselves to get him married by hook or crook!And the funny thing is when M and I got married,we were both 25 years old and these very relatives wondered if 25 was the right age for M to be entering wedlock.Wasn't he way too young,they asked.Go figure!
The other day my friend R and I were having a nice long chat over Margaritas.Now R,her husband A,M and I are all of the same age.So our conversation veered towards the inevitable topic of babies which is when she revealed that she and A have been trying for quite sometime now but with no luck.She went to add that she got a nice big lecture from her MIL about how they were already past the right age to have a baby so now they better hurry and get done with it!It seemed like they not really ready for a baby but they have to go ahead and try to conceive one nevertheless because the in-laws think the right time has come.
Earlier it was the older folks....the ones that belonged to our parents and their parents' generations..that did all the poking and prodding.But looks like there is a change in trend.Atleast in my case most of the starting-a-family queries comes from cousins and friends who are in the same age group as us!When I told my friend R that we plan to have a baby after a while,she went ballistic!She enlightened me as to how all babies conceived after the age of 30 turn out to be retards and how it is always either twins or triplets.Thats the curse.Now take Farah Khan's case,she exclaimed!Errr...isn't Ms.Khan close to 42 years old?And since when is having twins or triplets restricted to older women only?All this coming from a seemingly rational and intelligent girl!I was appalled at how illogical and stupid all her arguments were.I mean, I probably would have paid attention to what she was saying if her reasoning was plausible and rational.But all I could sense was desperation and frustration on her part.I kinda felt sorry for them for the ridiculous amount of pressure that they allowed themselves be subjected to.From what I have heard,as it is conceiving a baby is not always a roll in the hay!
I cannot bring myself to judge people about the choices they make and the priorities they choose.I have unmarried female friends who are way past 30 and living it up.I have friends who are in their 20s and have 2 kids and are eagerly planning for their third.One of my friends is a PhD who has chosen to be a SAHM and is extremely happy and content.It is after all their life and their choice.And no one has the right to butt in.
Does everyone think so too?Or is it that there is always the right age for everything?I would love to know...