Wednesday, May 21, 2008

And then there were none

There seems to be a sudden dearth of "suitable girls".Well,how else would you explain the franctic emails and calls that I get almost every other day from my male friends asking for my help in getting them hitched.Initially I did not take their plea for help all that seriously.I assumed it was just one of those typical,casual conversations that you normally have with your single male friends which invaribaly involves them asking you to set them up with your attractive single female friends.But when the volume of emails that came my way increased and the plea started sounding more and more desperate and the said friends implored me to do something about their situation,I was forced to sit up and take notice.

A situation as precarious as this called for thorough analysis which produced some very interesting results.So there is this guy.Lets call him Specimen A.I have known him for a long long time and he has always been the flamboyant,good looking guy.The class flirt with a roving eye if you must.Of course it was all in good taste but the fact of the matter remains that this guy was the kind who loved to be associated with and seen in the company of pretty girls.He never did seem like the kind of guy who would ever want to settle down or worse,commit to one woman.So you can imagine my surprise when I was approached by him to help him do just that.I tell him exactly what all of us are thinking.Why would a guy like him need help in the first place?What happened to all those girls that he knew or dated or had a crush on or had a crush on him ?His answer?He has no idea.All he knows is that he is desperate to get hitched.And why is that?Because all his friends are no longer single and he feels awfully left out when with them.And he is tired of probing questions about when he was planning to shed his single status from his no-longer-single friends.And he is also tired of everyone assuming that finding someone should be a walk in the park for someone with a history as his whereas this was so far from the truth.I felt so bad for him that day.

And then there is Specimen B.Again I have known him forever.He is the quintessential nerd. Intelligent,hard working,soft-spoken,successful,rich.He has always been the kind who never showed too much inclination towards women in the romantic way.He seemed to be very content with his higher studies and later on, with doing well at work and moving up the corporate ladder.I am not sure whether it was by design or just a coincidence that he maintained his single status effortlessly.Now all of a sudden,he feels he is very lonely.He feels the need for companionship.He feels the need for the presence of a woman in his life.He wants a wife.And he wants to take the traditional route.Unfortunately for him,as hard as his parents are trying to match horoscopes and find the right girl,its just not materialising.

Specimen C.The die hard romantic at heart.One of the warmest guys I have ever known.He is quirky, funny, full of energy and a lot of fun to be with.And someone who beleives in a fairytale romance and that he will find The One in a manner that he has always dreamt of.Sigh.He asks for my help to make all this come true.As hard as I try to break the bubble and bring him back to planet earth, he seems to be fixated on his idea of romance.And he is getting really impatient that his dream is taking forever to come true.And then there is Specimen D.He is your everyday guy.A wonderful friend.Helpful,polite.A really good guy who is the most practical person I have ever known.Perfect husband material.And yet he is finding it very hard to find the right girl.

They are all so different from each other and want very different things from life.And yet they want the same thing too.A suitable companion.The right girl.The One.I have always maintained that things like marriage and relationships and having kids are very personal and individualstic. There is no right age or wrong age.There are no rules.There is no pattern.But look at these guys.Isn't there like a semblance of a pattern?They are all turning 30 this year.Maybe that has something to do with the desperation?

When M and I got married at the age of 25,we got a lot of raised eyebrows,friends wanting to know if we were sure this is what we wanted,friends wanting why we did not want to play the field some more,friends wondering if we were too young to take the plunge.The fact of the matter is that both of us just knew.Period.And boy am I glad that I am not in their shoes today.Ironically these days,we get a lot of I want what you have and I envy you guys.


And it dosen't help that none of my girl friends are single.And the ones that are single are involved in a relationship.Where did all the single women go??!!!

You know,this is serious fodder for thought for people of the likes of that idiot doctor that Chandni wrote about a while ago about the extent to which female infanticide is affecting society.

Oh and what do we have here!An award.My first one!This space supposedly has Nice Matters according to the lovely SnippetsAndScribbles. And following the blogging-world tradition of passing on the said award to those I think are worthy recepients, I choose DotThoughts and Silvara; two of the most honest and sophiscated women I have come across.And they write very well too!


La vida Loca said...

soo many thoughts...all got out argued...
anyway desperation ***can be a turn off to many women and we can sense it from a mile..maybe thats why? Maybe they could look outside what they **typically go for???

Silvara said...

hehe exactly right - perhaps they need to be more open about the kind of girl they are looking for??

they sound like nice enough guys...and there is no lack of girls...take them speed dating :P

And THANK YOU for the award....yay me!! Very muchly appreciated :D

DotThoughts said...

YAY! Can't believe you gave a nice matters award to me. And those very flattering, kind words :) Now I shall send you the promised $50 through paypal :D

Anonymous said...

so true! so true!
I have a few friends too that ask for the same help :-((

Anonymous said...

...and you so deserve the award, gurl :)

Orchid said...

no really there are none...we went thru the same thing with D my brother and finally my parents persistence paid off and he found is soulmate (?)...has to do with the changing dynamics of indian relationships i figure...our list of must-haves are not the same as our parent's list of must have's !

Anonymous said...

Well, thats how it is. My parents are trying to get a decent groom for me for the past two years, and in the meanwhile I was / am pining away for the S...but it is difficult to find a partner who 'fits' you...

Anonymous said...

Specimen D sounds good, can I have his bio data please!!lol

Anonymous said...

now u tell me about all these men...when I am taken :D

I love Lucy said...

@la vida loca : There are signs of desperation alright.But thats my point exactly.There is no need to get desperate as yet!

@Silvara : Oh they are nice guys...I have known them forever now and thats why it kinda feels bad to see them in this state.
And you are most welcome.It is muchly deserved!! :)

@Dottie : Nice people get the Nice Matters Award,its that simple!
Err...gentle reminder to be sending that promised check.

@SnS : And its so hard to say no to them at such times right?!
And thank you,my dear :)

@Orchid : You said it!Atleast with 2 of the 4 guys that I mentioned it is exactly the case.I hear the terminology "love-cum-arranged-marriage".
What the hell!

@Childwoman : All I can wish for you is happiness and peace of mind.I just hope you find the RIGHT person soon,T.

@Chandni : Now now...someone is getting super greedy!!
Hamare Boy sahib mein kya kami hai waise!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks dear!! But the right person looks a like a faraway dream..... But HE has no idea how patient I am!!! :P

work in progress said...

here I lament that the ''suitable boys'', have done a disappearing act, married or taken?

I love Lucy said...

@work in progress : You do??!!
Let me know your "type" and I could fix you up with one of the aforementioned specimens ;)

Serendipity said...

V and I are getting hitched too, and we're 25.. one of the first few couples in our groups.

And theres a reason I blog under the name serendipity. you kindof got it. :D

Mama - Mia said...


so true so true! i even tried hooking up one of my guy friends to a very cool gl pal! the man wont even meet her! and now cribs about lack of good women!

ofcos i hardly know any single woman and i keep telling them i was the last of the awesome women species! :p

also as much as we say there is no "right" time, things get really difficuly esp for women once you hit 30!

plus we all really need to get a relaity check on what we expect because there are no perfect people!

contrary to what dil toh pagal hai says a bell might NOT ring when you see the ONE! ;)

very interesting post!! all the best to all the specimens!