Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Its either the conventional way or the highway

Not too long ago,M and I were invited to dinner by this married couple with a 3-year old child.The conversation throughout the evening consisted of different flavors of the same two topics : buying a new home and having children.One one hand,the husband could not stop complaining about how one's life comes to an end after one becomes a parent and about how difficult it is to manage to have any fun at all with the child in tow.On the other hand,the wife was making weird,indirect remarks about how M and I should follow their lead and consider having children of our own soon.

Now I do know several couples who have kids and who are very dear to me and I immensely enjoy spending time with them and their children.And this post is not directed towards any of you and you all know who I am talking about here.

This post however, is the result of observing and interacting with some exceptions like the aforementioned couple who behave in the most incorrigible manner possible.They are the ones who will not miss an opportunity to advice their single friends about the virtues of marriage and their married-friends-who-are-yet-to-have-kids about the imperativeness of parenthood.And they will do this in the same vein as complaining about their respective spouses or how the process of raising their child takes away all their time and energy.In the end it almost seems like they are so envious of our lifestyle that they can't wait for us to have kids and then participate in the rant-marathon alongside them.Juxtaposition,anyone?!!Or maybe hypocrisy.Or maybe its just the way they are.Yes thats what it is.Its just the kind of people they are.

First of all,the decision to get married or have a kid is entirely upto the individual/couple as the case may be.In the latter case,its upto to the couple to decide whether or not they want a child in the first place and when they want to bring that child into this world.To each his own.There is no right or wrong.So I don't understand how one assumes that one has the right to butt in and expend unwarranted advice regarding these decisions just because one is on the other side of the fence.Almost as if after the baby is born,these people will actually go ahead and assume responsibility of the new-born and change his/her diapers and stay up with him/her all night.We did not go about court-martialing them when they decided to expand their families now did we?So why not reciprocate with mutual respect and mind their own beeswax?If they are so envious of a life style that is unlike theirs,all I can say is suck it up.Accept the fact that they are responsible for their current situation and make peace with themselves instead of trying to stick their noses into somebody else's life!So what it all comes down to finally is how conventional one is in terms of what is generally the acceptable age to get married or the acceptable age to have kids.The moment one decides to screw convention, one is subjected to the third degree!

I love my life as it is,so sue me!


M said...

Well yeah! quite true dear!

We all have our share in this...when we left for the US immly after marriage, the first thing some people had to say was to come back with a baby! Oh gimme a break and mind your own business...was all we could say (rather think) with a smile on our faces!

Madhu said...

I know you meant this to be a very serious post, but I am sorry but I am rolling here with laughter. You know very well why dont you ;-)

the mad momma said...

God that is irritating. the OA and I were among the first of our friends to get married and we were extra careful never to talk marriage or kids. frankly we didnt want to. we were only too happy discussing movies and music and the latest gossip. i wish i had a reply to give those kind of ppl but then it just gets unpleasant. i hope future visits with them are more fun that this one.

Su said...

Awwww. Nice vent :) You have baby when you want one man ! Till then, be happy doing what it takes to make them.

yikes. I am normally not such a pervert. somehow all my comments to you end up coming out weird.

Ha. all in good fun

chandni said...

i so so agree with you...

this is soemthing I am facing everyday these days!!!

I don't understand why it is a big deal to even casually mention, that at this point I don't think I even wanna have kids..

its like I get attacjed from all sides!

divya said...

Hehehe! That must have sure been an irritating experience. Luckily for us, we haven't really been given gyan by any couple yet, but we did have some people make statements about how the next year, we would come as a family of three :O( and this was on our wedding reception for god's sake! Yikes! The dude almost fainted :)))

I love Lucy said...

Mri : Yikes!

Madhu : Err...actually no.Why ya?

Mad Momma : Wish we knew more couples like you and the OA!And yes,its very easy to say something nasty to them but it just makes things worse.So I just play along..

Su : Naaaty naaaty!Full manifestation of emotions and all it seems!! *wink*

Chandni : Been there and done that!Nowadays I have just given up and learned to ignore their comments!And thanks for stopping by :-)

Divya : Whaaat?!At your reception??!!!Thats way too much!!My heart is going out to the dude ;-)

Renovatio said...

Tell them you plan to adopt, and then condemn their decision for contributing to the population :D

I love Lucy said...

Reno : LOL!!!That was a good one!

Bikerdude said...

Well all I can say is: Misery loves company!