And then there were none

There seems to be a sudden dearth of "suitable girls".Well,how else would you explain the franctic emails and calls that I get almost every other day from my male friends asking for my help in getting them hitched.Initially I did not take their plea for help all that seriously.I assumed it was just one of those typical,casual conversations that you normally have with your single male friends which invaribaly involves them asking you to set them up with your attractive single female friends.But when the volume of emails that came my way increased and the plea started sounding more and more desperate and the said friends implored me to do something about their situation,I was forced to sit up and take notice.


A situation as precarious as this called for thorough analysis which produced some very interesting results.So there is this guy.Lets call him Specimen A.I have known him for a long long time and he has always been the flamboyant,good looking guy.The class flirt with a roving eye if you must.Of course it was all in good taste but the fact of the matter remains that this guy was the kind who loved to be associated with and seen in the company of pretty girls.He never did seem like the kind of guy who would ever want to settle down or worse,commit to one woman.So you can imagine my surprise when I was approached by him to help him do just that.I tell him exactly what all of us are thinking.Why would a guy like him need help in the first place?What happened to all those girls that he knew or dated or had a crush on or had a crush on him ?His answer?He has no idea.All he knows is that he is desperate to get hitched.And why is that?Because all his friends are no longer single and he feels awfully left out when with them.And he is tired of probing questions about when he was planning to shed his single status from his no-longer-single friends.And he is also tired of everyone assuming that finding someone should be a walk in the park for someone with a history as his whereas this was so far from the truth.I felt so bad for him that day.


And then there is Specimen B.Again I have known him forever.He is the quintessential nerd. Intelligent,hard working,soft-spoken,successful,rich.He has always been the kind who never showed too much inclination towards women in the romantic way.He seemed to be very content with his higher studies and later on, with doing well at work and moving up the corporate ladder.I am not sure whether it was by design or just a coincidence that he maintained his single status effortlessly.Now all of a sudden,he feels he is very lonely.He feels the need for companionship.He feels the need for the presence of a woman in his life.He wants a wife.And he wants to take the traditional route.Unfortunately for him,as hard as his parents are trying to match horoscopes and find the right girl,its just not materialising.


Specimen C.The die hard romantic at heart.One of the warmest guys I have ever known.He is quirky, funny, full of energy and a lot of fun to be with.And someone who beleives in a fairytale romance and that he will find The One in a manner that he has always dreamt of.Sigh.He asks for my help to make all this come true.As hard as I try to break the bubble and bring him back to planet earth, he seems to be fixated on his idea of romance.And he is getting really impatient that his dream is taking forever to come true.And then there is Specimen D.He is your everyday guy.A wonderful friend.Helpful,polite.A really good guy who is the most practical person I have ever known.Perfect husband material.And yet he is finding it very hard to find the right girl.

They are all so different from each other and want very different things from life.And yet they want the same thing too.A suitable companion.The right girl.The One.I have always maintained that things like marriage and relationships and having kids are very personal and individualstic. There is no right age or wrong age.There are no rules.There is no pattern.But look at these guys.Isn't there like a semblance of a pattern?They are all turning 30 this year.Maybe that has something to do with the desperation?


When M and I got married at the age of 25,we got a lot of raised eyebrows,friends wanting to know if we were sure this is what we wanted,friends wanting why we did not want to play the field some more,friends wondering if we were too young to take the plunge.The fact of the matter is that both of us just knew.Period.And boy am I glad that I am not in their shoes today.Ironically these days,we get a lot of I want what you have and I envy you guys.

Serendipity.


And it dosen't help that none of my girl friends are single.And the ones that are single are involved in a relationship.Where did all the single women go??!!!


You know,this is serious fodder for thought for people of the likes of that idiot doctor that Chandni wrote about a while ago about the extent to which female infanticide is affecting society.

Oh and what do we have here!An award.My first one!This space supposedly has Nice Matters according to the lovely SnippetsAndScribbles. And following the blogging-world tradition of passing on the said award to those I think are worthy recepients, I choose DotThoughts and Silvara; two of the most honest and sophiscated women I have come across.And they write very well too!

The big 3-0

I turned 30 on Saturday.And it was the best birthday ever.The husband frisked me off to a 4-day weekend to Hot Springs,Arkansas and we had a ball of a vacation.This birthday will remain etched in memory for a long time to come for several reasons:

1] It was a fantastic trip and we had lot of fun doing simple things like a long hike and paddle boating in the lake.There was this one particular zen-like instance when we hiked up the mountain at the national park and all we could manage to do was sit there in silence and take in the breathtaking visuals.


2] I got several phone calls all day long from all corners of the world....from my parents and in-laws and cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents....from friends whom I hadn't spoken to in ages......folks that I met through my blog and are now friends for life....from people who married my buddies and are now an integral part of the gang and close to me as ever.It felt really nice to talk to all of them and know that I have them in my life.A couple of these calls were extra special though.Like one of my best friends way back from high school who called all the way from Budapest,Hungary and we spoke for almost an hour,catching up effortlessly from where we had last left off.

3] The husband actually agreed to go on a spa session with me! The session itself was amazing as it was at one of those ancient bathhouses.The fact that M played along and ended up enjoying the whole experience was a bonus.


4] I got "drunk" drunk for the very first time in my life.And what better day to do so than my 30th birthday!! It was completely unintentional of course.We went to dinner at this really fancy place and we ordered some wine.This place apparently doesn't do wine in a glass and we ended up with an entire bottle of Chardonnay.And the waiter kept topping off our glasses after every couple of sips.So by the end of the evening,I had consumed close to 3 glasses of very good and ridiculously expensive white wine and was drunk enough to know it but not be able to do anything about it!So I was chatting away nineteen to the dozen and giggling after every sentence in the loudest of voices.A voice in my head kept saying "Dont talk.Stop talking.Sssshhhh.Be quiet.Now." But I just could not stop talking.I insisted that the husband run over some of the pedestrians who were a little slow in crossing the street.I composed a silly poem for the husband which he thought was very cute by the way.And several other things that I cannot remember too well.It was fun though and my husband was thoroughly entertained at my expense.

I have been getting a lot of "How does it feel to be 30?"I did do a lot of thinking and introspection just to see if I feel any major change within me.Honestly,I feel no different than I did when I was 29.It is just a mere coincidence that I felt I was ready to take some big decisions a few months before my birthday.Decisions that will change both our lives.Hopefully things go as planned and it all works out well.

This year and the next looks to be one hell of a roller-coaster ride and I can't quite wait for the party to begin!

Life nahin hai laddoo

It has been a particularly unpleasant start to the weekend.

So about a couple of weeks ago,I was on my way to the parlor and I got my very first traffic ticket.And it was such a freaky incident too.I passed a school bus that had its stop sign on.See the thing is I have never seen a school bus with a stop sign hanging by its sides like little wings. Never. So I realized that I should have stopped the very next second after I had passed the bus and saw the stop sign but it was too late.The darned cop came flying out of nowhere and swooped in on me and very majestically handed me my first ever ticket.I was whining and mopping all evening about how unfair it was and how I should have been let off with just a warning.The husband and everyone else consoled me by reminding me that I could pay a small fine and do the defensive driving course and get away with it.

I went to the Municipal Court yesterday afternoon only to learn that I cannot do the defensive driving course for this particular offense.Oh and it gets worse.I have been ordered to cough up a fine of $433.00.Oooo yeah.The lady behind the counter was so amused that I had to pay such a hefty fine that she said she would give me a month's extension and that I would start my 90-day probation period right away.I guess she assumed I was a well-dressed destitute when she saw the grief-stricken look on my face while she hemmed and hawed about the how huge the fine amount was.

"Oh my my,this is so much higher than the construction area fines too.You be careful from now on,dear.The moment you spot a school bus,try and go past it like nobody's business." she said.

Thank you.

Then I decided to buy a new book in order to try and cheer myself up.There was this excuse of a book fair happening right outside my office building which consisted of maybe 4 copies each of about 10 different books out of which 8 were for little kids.Anyways,I spotted a copy of A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseni and picked it up right away.Oh dear,I could not have picked out a book that was more wrong.It turned out to be a big big mistake.Ok,it is well written and he has depicted the turmoil in Afghanistan very well..yada yada yada.But the book is so damn depressing.And it made me angry.Very angry.I was already all moppy and whiny and this book just threw me right at the bottom.I would not recommend it to anyone.Especially not to someone trying to cheer herself up with a good read.Nope.

Mirror mirror on the wall...

Sunday was fun.We met up with one of our friends from high school for lunch at Genghis Khan grill.The food was great and so was the conversation and it was an afternoon extremely well spent.I guess the best part of it all for me was when the friend gave me a goodbye hug and said,

" You know, you just haven't changed since the last time I saw you.You look just the same! "

The last time I saw him was in December 2004.And he said it in a very matter-of-fact manner without actually intending to compliment me at that moment.So that felt really really good!

Like all normal women,I obsess about my weight and appearance.Thing is,though I think I am fat,I don't look fat.Atleast I make sure I dress well enough to camouflage the flab around the tummy.See thats my only grouse.The flabby tummy.More so because there was a point in time when I had the flattest abs ever.And then marriage happened.And laziness happened.And the move to the US happened. And introduction to cheese happened.

So thats that.Among other things,I have finally joined the elite club of people with spring allergies.Oh it has been really bad,the darn allergies.And it didn't help my cause that I got the flu at the same time too.Double whammy.My current trade mark is a humongous box of Kleenex that I lug around all the time.And I am just not able to drink water so I switched to Gatorade before I succumbed to dehydration. Just that each fricking bottle of Gatorade comes loaded with 200 calories.The newer version, G2 has like half the calories but the flavors that it comes in suck.

I hate Murphy and his stupid laws.

Guardian Angel

I am standing in queue at one my favorite restaurants to order lunch and I am playing a little game in my mind.Trying to guess which one of girls behind the counter will be taking my order.And I am hoping that its the one with the pierced lips because she knows me by sight(since I frequent that place so much) and she does a darn good job of waitressing.I am very anal about such things.I prefer my latte at Starbucks in a certain way and there is this cute guy who does makes it just the way I like it.Everyone else there messes up my order.Either there is too much foam or no foam at all when I specify light foam.The temperature is never right when I say I want it extra hot.And on days when I badly need my coffee to be done right,it usually is, thanks to cute guy.

This reminds of one of the most bizzare days of my life ever.A day when everything that could possibly go wrong did go wrong but in the end it all worked out fine.

So it was exam time and I was in my final semester of engineering.I had this policy of not going to college any earlier than T-15 minutes mainly because I would invariably be asked to explain a hundred things to a hundred people in the process of which I would end up confusing myself thoroughly.And most importantly because I needed all the time I could get to cram.It was no different on this eventful day either.Except that the weather looked really dubious.My mom kept reminding me to leave earlier than usual but out of sheer habit,I left home at exactly T-25 as it took about 10 minutes by auto from my home to college.I just about turned around the corner of the street and it started to rain so heavily that my umbrella gave way and flew out of my hand.And within seconds I was completely wet.There were no autos in sight and I could not even see what was 5 meters ahead of me as visibility was so poor thanks to the rain.I walked a little ahead to next bus stop hoping that I would get an auto as it was the main road.But again no luck.It was now T-20.My mind was totally blank as I saw no way of getting to college on time for my exam.And just then I heard a loud honk.I look up to see a friend of mine who was a year junior to me.He was on his way home from college and he had decided to take this route as it was less crowded.I had never ever been so happy and relieved to see someone in my whole life!

So this friend of mine,lets call him Mac.Mac offered to drop me to college and I hopped on to his bike.By then the intensity of rain was so much that we could not see a damn thing.There was no way Mac could ride the bike for a good 5 miles with zero visibility.So he suggested that we go to his house which was close by and we could then take his dad's car.So we reached his house and he was kind enough to offer his sister's clothes as I was completely drenched.So I grabbed the first set of salwar kameez in sight and changed hurriedly while he removed the car out of the garage.Since there was no use of carrying my wet back pack,I just picked up my pen case and got into the car.We were half way there when the car suddenly stopped moving.It would not go forward or backwards.We then realized that the car was stuck in a pothole which we had not seen as the streets were flooded.It was T-0.I was hyper-ventilating.Then Mac being the brave guy that he was asked me to just get out of the car.It had stopped raining by then.So we got out of the car,locked it and left it right there.Bang in the middle of one of the busiest roads in Bangalore. Before we got stoned to death by the other motorists for blocking the road,we managed to find an auto and got into it.I was now a little calm and hopeful that I will somehow be able to write the exam.We were about a mile away from college when the auto went into this huge puddle of muddy water all of which landed right on me!I was wearing Mac's sister's dress which was light pink in color and my entire right side was covered with muck.I did not know whether to fret about my appearance or about her dress being ruined!

Finally we reach college at about T + 10 and when it was time to pay the auto guy,both of us realized that we didn't have our wallets with us.We had left it in our jeans pockets when we changed into dry clothes.I could just die right then!Mac asked me to just go ahead and find my exam hall and that he would take the auto back to his house and pay him there.I did as I was told because I was in no state whatsoever to think rationally.I went to the designated building to find that there were 16 rooms on that floor and I had no idea which room I was in.I just stood there in the middle of the corridor.Blank.Covered in muck.Luckily,one of my professors came out for a drink of water and spotted me.He instantly knew that something was wrong.He asked me wait right there while he figured out where I was seated.I stood there nodding my head and shivering. After a couple of minutes he came back and guided me to my room and seat.He got me a cup of water and asked me take a couple of minutes before I started writing.I drank the water just to realize that I was feeling a little damp elsewhere.Nature decided to play truant and I had just gotten my period.Of all things!

I did manage to write the exam and get a decent score.Mac paid the auto guy at this place and then managed to extricate the car from the pothole with the help of the auto driver.And the car was intact, thank god.I got the dress dry cleaned twice before I returned it to his sister.To date every time I think about that one fateful day,I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if Mac hadn't passed by.Mac, I don't think I have thanked you enough for all that you did.You were my guardian angel.

Edited to add: I guess I haven't articulated my thoughts too well.The only bone I have to pick is with the guys over at the slaughter house in this article.Their callous attitude just gets to me.My anger and disgust is solely directed at them and people like them.This post DOES NOT condone a particular lifestyle choice over another.

I am vegetarian. Simply because I believe in it. I have nothing whatsoever against people who eat meat although I cannot relate to it.It is their choice just like being a vegetarian is mine.But what really really gets to me and makes my blood boil is when certain statements are made.Such as:

"Humane and inhumane killing of cows in slaughter house......"

Excuse me?Could it be more paradoxical?You are killing as in ending the cow's life for your own benefit.What is so damn humane about it?It is not like you are euthanizing the poor animal or making sure its death is as painless and quick as possible.So why the pretense?Someone asked me how I can take such a hard stand when capital punishment still prevails.Well,you get the death penalty only if you have committed an extremely heinous crime.What is your excuse?

I do not expect anyone to justify the choices they make.Neither am I proclaiming that eating meat is sinful and vegetarianism is the way to go.All I am trying to say is do not glorify the horrendous act.Animals are killed/hunted for their meat and fur.Period.No point pretending otherwise.No point in justifying the act of killing.All this just makes it harder to stay objective.

Read this.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...

We have been following the Texas primaries and caucus closely and for once,I am really enjoying it.Maybe it is because this time around I understand to an extent, whats going on and whats being discussed.Enough to stand my own (for a while atleast) in an elections-oriented discussion.It is amusing to see the two Democratic candidates go at each other like there is no tomorrow.By the time the Democrats are done deciding who they are going to field,both Senators Obama and Clinton would have lost steam.Presumably Senator McCain is having the last laugh.But what a speaker that man Obama is!Inspirational does not begin to describe it.Fun it is.

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Things at work are looking up.Some new work just came in and we had the kick-off meeting yesterday.Of course,it didn't help much that our manager spent half his time talking about naming conventions which is like coding 101.I so need to read What Color is my Parachute. Thanks for the suggestion, bird's eye view.

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We watched Jackie Brown a couple of days ago.Loved it.We also watched Mithya, another gem of a movie and Rajat Kapoor's directorial debut.Loved it as well.Especially this scene that has Neha Dhupia and Daisy Irani rambling away in Punjabi.Apparently Neha Dhupia can act!

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JustFemme,an online magazine, is organizing a women's film festival in Bangalore.The festival features five short films,chronicling women's lives in contemporary India.For more details about the films,visit www.justfemme.in or contact Just Femme at 9741437431.This month's issue features an article written by your's truly as well!

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Spring seems so far away.But I couldn't wait any longer so I went ahead and pampered myself with a really cute and springy floral black and white dress.Now the question is how long before I can actually wear it.

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I never knew blogging could be so much fun.I do not write as much as I should but it has been a nice experience thus far.I got to know so many intelligent and fun and super-cool people most of whom are of the female persuasion.This is a first for me because I have always had more male friends.I am loving it and I am really really glad that I got to know you all.You all are wonderful and its been a blast interacting with all of you.Cheers!

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Edited to add : Rohit rightly pointed out that Mithya is not Rajat Kapoor's directorial debut.I stand corrected.Thanks Rohit!