Partner

No no...this post has nothing to do with relationships and life and partners and the likes.Its just a rant about that disaster of a movie titled "Partner".

Last Sunday,I had this overwhelming urge to watch a good ol' Hindi pichchar and going by this review and the store owner's recommendation,I settled for "Partner".So not only do I endorse DVD piracy by renting this movie,I ensure that my entire Sunday afternoon was filled with agony and frustration with no one but myself to blame.M was busy doing his 750 piece puzzle so I had to undergo this latest-method-of-torture-CIA-uses-to-deal-with-maniacal-suicide-bombers,all by myself.
Why you ask?Picture this:

The cast:The movie is our own desi version of Hitch which has that idiot Salman Khan playing Will Smith's role and running amok in the name of comedy.He is paired with the even more idiotic Govinda who looks and acts like he is completely stoned.The fact that he is paired opposite Katrina Kaif just adds to the general misery.And then there is Lara Dutta posing as a brain-dead journalist.

The plot:Govinda falls in love with the super rich Kat and somehow manages to convince "Love Guru" Salman to help him get his lady love.In other words,pure torture...ashte.

Outstanding scene #1 : Lara is clicking away pictures of the notorious Chota Don(sic) at his adda which is somewhere in the outskirts of Mumbai.And then,one of his goons spot her and the whole lot scream bloody murder and run after her.And what is her exit strategy?She gets on to her bicycle and rides away to glory and lo and behold! she is now on one of the streets of Mumbai.Oh and it gets even better.Those 28 odd goons of the don are still chasing her....by foot!

Outstanding scene #2 : This annoying kid who is Salman's nephew in the movie designs a "rocket missile that gets activated by a command in that kid's voice".And at one point,it actually gets activated and goes after Salman with a vengeance!Salman,who is on a jet ski,does all kinds of stunts to escape from the torpedo.This scene lasts for atleast 20 minutes.

Outstanding scene #3 : The last 30 minutes or the so called "climax" of the movie.Please do not make me describe it,please.Watching it was bad enough and left me scarred for life.

Thats it.I cannot go on.If you want to see for yourself,be my guest,but just know that you have been warned.So proceed at your own peril.

The whole experience had me wondering as to how some body else's definition of humor and comedy and entertainment and good cinema can be so damn different from mine.Or is it just me?The movie described above is supposed to a huge hit back home.How?Why?I remember going through a similar soul searching experience when M and I were forced to watch another load-of-crap titled "No Entry" and too,in a theater after having coughed up $8.00 per ticket.Damn relatives!During the interval,this well-built Punjabi aunty is talking loudly on her cell phone inside the theater and her conversation goes something like this:
"Heeellooo,pammi bhabhi,I am calling from theater...hum log "no entry" dekh rahen hai...kya picchchar hai bhabhi..soooper dooooper hit!!!...kyacomedy hai anil kapoor ki..has has ke paagal ho gaye..you missed it,bhabhi"

Thats all.